virtual crazy gang, part II

[rustytrawler]

Imust confess that it was not Tmax that has been pissing in the bilges, it was the only man on board who drinks red lemonade the only place that sells red lemonade is Ireland.

[tweediekiwi]

Ooooh! Sails. I can help you YM. I have a yard arm. The other one is 35 inches though.

[Engine Serang]

As an adult (??) I have never drank TK Red but as a child in East Antrim I had the usual little bouts of growing sickness called a Dwam. When on the mend Lucozade was the pick-me-up and if money was tight red lemonade boiled and let cool down had to suffice.
I sometimes wonder if there is a need for big pharma to be flogging 50 types of cold remedy when Lucozade and TK Red worked.

[rustytrawler]

Dwam?.....Is that anything to do with dropping balls or the excitement?

[billyboy]

sales?... bum boat alongside is it?
Red liquid? tractor fuel that is.
Ball dropping? most of my crew guilty of that I guess. (dropped a few myself to be honest)

[rustytrawler]

Why dont you people in the PHILLIPPINES get out of bed at the same time as the rest of us? Is it winter down your end?

[Engine Serang]

Dwam is Ullans or Ulster Scots or 'the hamely tongue' for a minor illness or a touch of something like the flu.

[rustytrawler]

Ithink i have a head Dwam reading all this Irish twaddle, in Yorkshire we say i feel crap and then everyone knowes where they stand.

[Varley]

Well, I heard that a wee Dwam was good for all that ails but that is not how HM would spell it.

When a girl M'Lady, as she regails, offered the family ewer of bothiebathsqueezings to a lad close by who was of the Plymouth Brethren or Jehovah's Witnesses (I had no idea either had gained teetotal toehold in Ireland until then, but I digress) and ailing of some unspecified lurgy.

She omitted to suggest a suitable dose and when he surfaced some days later it emerged he had taken the lot. I doubt he felt much better. Not for a little while anyway. I suspect M'Lady's prescription had omitted the hat and the bedpost, necessities if not specifying dosage.

[billyboy]

I did hear that a hair of the dog works well. Little old lady down the road is still no better and has as bald doggy now. Maybe she over did it too!

[tweediekiwi]

I suppose TK Red is the equivalent of Irn-Bru in Scotland? Not available when I was a lad back there.
I used to get Maltexo in the winter and cod liver oil if I was malingering. I don't get many flu's now that we're all immunised against covid etc. A Dwam back then was a daydream.
So, billyboy has a neighbour with a bald doggy? I know a lady with a bald pussy. It's from Argentina I think, and very expensive.
In NZ here, the winter is trying to hang on so we're having a wet spring.

[Engine Serang]

Are youse still growing Kiwi Fruit?

[tweediekiwi]

Yes. Green, Yellow and Red. They keep genetically modifying them to suit different nations tastes.
Great little fruit, three of them give you a good run for your money. Prune juice is cheaper though.
Where is the GD now? Adrift? Half sunk? Laid up for the time being?

[Engine Serang]

We are in Port Said, the haven of all our desires, awaiting a Gorden Blow cook. Once the galley is flashed up and cooking something better than Goat a la Cous-Cous we will up anchor and keep pointing south.
BTW is goat a Kiwi export, alongside coloured fruit and boot polish.

[Engine Serang]

I miss the Pool. Keep phoning the Belfast, Liverpool and Glasgow Pool to hire some of Britain's Hardy Sons but no one answers. Can anyone help?

[rustytrawler]

Ihear that in the US they are starting to eat their pets, that is what trump said so if we are having Goat i for one don't want any, is there any cod left? the only thing i can see swimming around hear is plastic bottles.

[Malcolm G]

Originally Posted by rustytrawler

Ihear that in the US they are starting to eat their pets, that is what trump said so if we are having Goat i for one don't want any, is there any cod left? the only thing i can see swimming around hear is plastic bottles.

If you want to emulate the people of Donald’s imagination then you need to be second generation immigrants with mental health issues and the pet needs to be freshly killed with the fur still on.
Goat? Don’t you cook that as you would mutton?
Cod? Try the frozen food aisle at your local supermarket - dunno where it comes from though.
Maybe your cod are like my goldfish and prefer to hide under floating objects, like bottles.

[billyboy]

Just bought a pair of shoes and a nice suitcase from the Bum Boat man.
South through the Suet Channel eh good choice ES

[billyboy]

Golden Dreamer Notice Board.

Attention all readers!
Vacancies for crew in all departments. Urgently Hiring. Jump aboard and come to my owners suite to sign articles. Experience not required as on board training is available. deck crew, catering crew, down below men. Hosifers in all departments needed.

[rustytrawler]

As i have been on board for quite some time with no pay i was wondering if there is a chance of promotion with even more no pay, then i can send some home to my old mum....Are we heading home yet?.... Nurse Titty went to her appointment ashore at the Hospital of contagious diseases this morning when is she due back as i have something that needs looking at.

[billyboy]

Go see Tmac he has a large tub of blue unction down below. that'll fix you up Rusty.

[tweediekiwi]

Can we please borrow Israels Iron Dome system if we have to pass them hamas and hooteys. I was bombed once and don't want it to happen again.
Billy Boy, I've just applied for the position of Fools Mate in Chess, so, I'll see if I get that first.
If not, I'll apply for some slippery role like assistant grease-monkey's mate.

[rustytrawler]

A US ship has just come alongside the crew are all looking hungry, so it's best to lock up the ships pet cat, they can have the dog as it bit me. have you ever tried dogs trotters?

[billyboy]

Theres about 20 cases of canned Anchovys in No 2 hold. swing them aboard the US Ship.