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#1
10th June 2017, 10:39
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Bing Bong
I just answered the door to a Jehovah's Witness. Has this ever been a week for nutters ringing my doorbell. But that it coincides with me having this big cut on the side of my head bulging with stitches has really proved quite useful.
They've all backed away as if I'm a product of the good Dr Frankenstein. It's true what they say, every cloud does have a bit of a lining, even if it's not silver. 
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.) 
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#2
10th June 2017, 10:59
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Quote:
Your shopping list is growing and is as follows, 1 off Fire Extinguisher. 1 off Video Door Bell. 
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#3
10th June 2017, 11:05
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Fire extinguisher is bought and in place ..
 Not sure about a video doorbell ... was thinking more along the lines of a trapdoor by the front step that drops into a large tank of particularly cobby piranhas.
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.)
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#4
10th June 2017, 11:07
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One excellent reason for living on a golf estate ... no unexpected callers! Luckily also with the poor cell (mobile) phone reception, nothing on there either. Our big problem unfortunatelywith the on going drought, is to try to stop the steenbok and moles eating all the flowers, new shoots etc!
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#5
10th June 2017, 11:13
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Quote:
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#6
10th June 2017, 11:25
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I'm not a cruel person, crocodiles would be most unhappy in that small pit.
Piranhas on the other hand have the brain of a Guppy, only with more teeth.  Of course .... I could go super high tech .... 
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.)
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#7
10th June 2017, 12:48
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#8
10th June 2017, 12:57
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 Oh yeah, Mormons. I remember them when I was a kid in the fifties. Yanks with crew cuts and CIA suits !!  They tried to gather us up and teach us how to play baseball, 'we can already play rounders' we shouted but they persisted. They wanted to convert us. What were they thinking of on a council estate in a West Midlands industrial town in the fifties ?? If they pulled that sh*t today they'd probably get arrested.
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.)
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#9
10th June 2017, 18:08
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When I was doing my ticket one of the chaps shared a rented house and had had a visit from some Mormons. He had got rid of them by promising to gather his 'colleagues' together the following evening if they cared to come back.
So we went along. Before they could launch into their 'presentation' someone asked 'What about polygamy?' 'We don't do that anymore' 'But if it's in the Book of Mormon and laid down by Joseph Smith as doctrine, how can you just drop it?' That was the end of it, the Mormons left and we got out the beer.
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#10
10th June 2017, 18:41
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I was once acquainted with an Indian chap ( he was an Immigration Officer when we had such things). He told me that his method of dealing with such callers was firstly establish that their Bible was the source of all knowledge.
He would then enquire whether they had read the Talmud, the Koran, the Tripitaka, the Vedas etc. Blank looks from visitor followed by: "Well I have, come back when you have also done so".
__________________
The Mad Landsman
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