virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

I think it a bit much 'We' at SH are to wish anyone a happy whatever without some of 'We' being asked. If I want to point out that you are another year older and not a jot wiser or richer then I will do so without the intervention of any Silicon based PA.

Have as many more as you wish for yourself!

[Engine Serang]

Jeez there's a begrudger on every ship.

[billyboy]

Birthday! Great I was looking for an excuse to have a party. Steward! lay up for a party on the pool deck on the double. I'll stand the first three rounds. Make sure theres Top quality cigars for Mr Varley please.

[Tmac1720]

Happy Birthday ES and welcome to the old farts club. As a token of this special day you may purchase me a pint of Black Bush and a packet of Tayto cheese and onion.

I don't buy presents so by way of celebration you can have an hour off knob cleaning

By the way you kept that news very quiet so I suppose you have scoffed all the cake

[Engine Serang]

As a token of this special day you may purchase me a pint of Black Bush and a packet of Tayto cheese and onion.

And I'll throw in a bar of nuggat. On the Antrim Road it is Nou Ga, but 20 miles up the road it is Nuggat. And 6 Paris Buns.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

As a token of this special day you may purchase me a pint of Black Bush and a packet of Tayto cheese and onion.

And I'll throw in a bar of nuggat. On the Antrim Road it is Nou Ga, but 20 miles up the road it is Nuggat. And 6 Paris Buns.

Ah Paris Buns, is them the ones that had the paper round the bottom and the sugary bits on the top? AKA sore heads

[Varley]

As I understand it cake of the anniversary kind is not understood in that far off land. That diet, anyway, looks more Glaswegian than Dublinesque. Can you get the galley to deep-fry it? That would be the batter on the Nuggat to mix a metaphor.

I have put a case on. I don't know why. 'In my day' (dodder dodder) it was birthday boy that owned the sheet for the night.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

As I understand it cake of the anniversary kind is not understood in that far off land. That diet, anyway, looks more Glaswegian than Dublinesque. Can you get the galley to deep-fry it? That would be the batter on the Nuggat to mix a metaphor.

I have put a case on. I don't know why. 'In my day' (dodder dodder) it was birthday boy that owned the sheet for the night.

What's this Dodder-Dodder crack?????

Chez Serang is on the banks of the River Dodder and our residents association would be appalled if a "Varley" type person was seen in the area. We talk of little else other than property prices, ****** and Irish not wanted.
Barrista I'll have a skinny latte with a double shot of vanilla.

[billyboy]

Latte and vanilla?? Never seen you drink that in Bettys bar.

[Engine Serang]

Well Bettys Cafe Tea Rooms in York, Yes.
Bettys Bar, No.
In Bettys Bar the clientele would snigger behind my back.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

In Bettys Bar the clientele would snigger behind my back.

What a short memory you have young man, the last person to snigger at your expense in Betty's bar met the business end of my flogging spanner and as far as I know is still enjoying hospital food via a straw

Us injuneers are not called the black gang for nothing, we are the original band of brothers

[Varley]

The Varley genotype is in short supply and so at a premium and with a long waiting list (and if my forbear's bottom had been nifty enough to make the Dodder - y'r man Tone would not have had to top himself).

I may show the neighbourhood the threadbare face of a distressed gentlefolksperson but with Crittall windows I don't really have an option - the roof is new (and that f'ing leaks!).

[Engine Serang]

Treat your roof as a hatch cover. Carry out an ultrasound test to pinpoint problem areas and carry out repairs.
If all else fails throw a tarpaulin over the slates and hope the neighbours don't notice.
Free advice is always best.

[Varley]

Thank you for the well priced advice. I called the yard back in and despite a bit of residual underneath the insulation (or, I suspect, in it), which now seems to have drained, I think I am tight again (as in all day rather than as a result of the usual post-prandials).

I look forward to hearing your pearls on the bloody Crittalls, we have (as I am sure do you) horizontal precipitation as well as the vertical type.

[Engine Serang]

Crittalls had probably a touch too much style. They were far from a resounding success on the Titanic due to the fact that keeping water out was not one of their strongpoints. I'd have Regal Windows down first thing Monday morning and Grade 2 Listed Varl will be toasty warm when Jack Frost calls.
Pearls are freely given during lockdown.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

What a short memory you have young man, the last person to snigger at your expense in Betty's bar met the business end of my flogging spanner and as far as I know is still enjoying hospital food via a straw

:

Apologies all around for being tardy in response but V's houseboat sprung a leak and the A Team had to haste to Mona to add a bit if buoyancy to the craft, stability to the townland and Class to the Island.

Back to important issues, and it has to be said that it is comforting to have a Mucker with a big iron on his hip.
What a drinking team, me, Tmax and Marty Robbins. Ye-Ha.

[Varley]

It was very good of you to spring to my aid. But that was not my leaky bottom you were attempting to plug. That was the Jurby Hilton where they put you for not self isolating.

Style? Water? Their efficacy is limited to turning a draft into a zephyr and sometimes, I suspect, the attenuation level turns positive. Nabpcat, as a kitten, fell through the gap in the bedroom window. If your mucker with the big iron had shoved it up the conservation officer before you were banged up that would have been a service indeed.

I have the very thing for storing your freely given pearls. It is labelled 'Sarsons'.

[Engine Serang]

A lot of vinegar from mona this morning, I suspect a bad burger on the way home last night.

[Varley]

I was quite well last night, thank you. As were the various comestibles, company and even dancing (try that in a monks' cowl). This morning's sourness comes from the temporary stickage in my gullet caused by 20 quid spent on charity raffle tickets without a sou's worth of prize to show for it and nothing to do with the free-flowingness of vinous refreshment.

Could have spent that on patent draft excluder (Nabpcat's no longer small enough to fall through, perhaps I should block them with stacked pussycats).

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

A lot of vinegar from mona this morning, I suspect a bad burger on the way home last night.

Nothing worse than a bad burger and soggy chips

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

perhaps I should block them with stacked pussycats).

I can think of many better uses for a nice furry pussy

Viz-a-viz lottery and other games of chance..... I entered a wife swap draw and went home with a lawn mower

[Engine Serang]

I'd swap the Memsahib for a lawn mower.
A ride on model.

[Varley]

I thought only Eidfeasters were allowed to stack what you're fantasising about, Tmac. Not to mention that your partner in grime might pick up a sit-on rather than ride-on version.

[Engine Serang]

All this waffle about soggy chips, lawn mowers and Titanic's windows is only camouflaging the fact that no one knows where we are.

[billyboy]

wow! Back on line at last. 10 days it took to fix it. Our Mr Varley would have had it fixed in half an hour.