Did someone say double?
Don't mind if I do,
Make that an Armagnac

Now you are hearing double! I wish I was, the only cognac I can enjoy is out of stock and, outrage on outrage, I am told that its resupply is not considered essential freight. Added to that the newest distillery is to turn its hand from gin to making sanitiser. Probably not that disastrous a choice, I am told it tasted like diesel. |Fortunately I am well stocked with gin and am especially enjoying Tanqueray Sevilla with hot water. An excellent winter drink.

I had to Google Armagnac !!

Thus confirming my origins as a West Midlands lowlife ... who thinks people who drink 'sherry' are posh.

(VP Sherrry at that.)

(Touches forelock, but reloads musket.) :big_tongue:

Can I have the name of your GP please. Mine is always trying to stop me gargling anything alcoholic.

Not sure but there might be a difference between gargling and googling.
Perhaps in the former one spits it out and in the latter one swallows it hook, line and sinker.

keep your powder dry and your pan covered.

You speak of Cognac and Armagnac.

Many years ago we were staying at a hotel in the Pyrenees Occidentales. After a eating a very good dinner the waiter asked if we would like un digestif. My wife chose a Cointreau and I asked for a Cognac.

The waiter looked puzzled and said, "Cognac, monsieur, qu'est-ce que c'est?"

I thought that my decades-old schoolboy O-level French had let me down again or that my Lancashire accent was to blame so had several attempts to pronounce the word in a clearer fashion but without success. Try as I could I just could get him to understand what I wanted. Stretching my linguistic ability to the extreme I went into detail about distilling wine to make "boisson spiritueux plus fort."

A light of comprehension dawned across his face and he said, "Ah, Monsieur vous demandez un Armagnac".

At that point I realised that I had been had, his lack of recognition was an act. Since we were in the heart of the Armagnac region he was having a joke with me while also sticking to his regional roots. There was no way he was going to sell me a competitor's product.

It also brought home to me something that I found all over France - the people are not just proud of being French, they are fiercely loyal to their local connections. The wine of their region is always far superior to that of their neighbours (or anywhere else), local food specialities cannot be matched elsewhere.

When people used to tell me that being in the EU was giving up control of our lives to Brussels I used to think of that waiter, who was not even prepared to recognise the procucts and the activities in another French town/region less than 100km away, let alone in another country. There was no way that Brussels could make the French do anything that they did not welcome.

Shiver me timbers I never heard of Tanqueray Sevilla until today. No pubs open in Dublin and Offies only stocking popular brands I'm going to have to ad-lib.
I propose a tumbler half full of Cork Dry, a dropeen of hot water and a generous teaspoonful of Chivers Seville Marmalade, it can't poison me.
Any advice?

Any signs of life from ES or has the chemistry set done its work:angel:

He must be ill. I've never heard of him suggesting that he add water to anything except a boiler or a dhobi machine.

Au-Contraire Mr V(as Del Boy would say); au-contraire, I am a great believer in putting a wee drop of hot water in a Jameson, and in Cockburns to develop the taste. But water added to dilute the product is an alien and deplorable practise.

My marmalade has received almost universal approval and I am in line for the Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

My limited experience of Armagnac suggest that a drinkable one is even more expensive than Cognac. I am also minded of the first time I heard of it as a boy was when Pa bought a case of it from BP's office 'exchange and mart' as it was a 'bargain'. I do not remember what it tasted like but it came in flat bottles (like Mateus).

As an old man Pa adopted Grande Empereur 'Napoleon' as his brandy of choice.

On a previous occasion when Fontvielle was out of stock I was persuaded to by a bottle of Armagnac for only a little bit less than the Fontvielle. It was disappointing. I reported this on my next call to be told if I wanted the same quality I would have had to pay about twice as much.

The penny then dropped. Grande Empereur would compete with E-S's bothiebath lacquer lifter in a paint removing contest. This Napoleon obviously a distant and much removed relative of Bonapart reduced to the decorating trade. It was, however, the least expensive bottle of tres forte on the shelves. As with the Grande Empereur Pa had appreciated more the good market aspect than the good flavour. I should have known it was entirely 'in character' (we live with the hall skylight roofed-over as between him and the tame builder it was the least expensive solution except for having to leave the bloody light on in all but the brightest of daylight).

At that price I could not afford to see if the expert was right or not.

What's this 'water' stuff you lot are on about ?

**** the groan-o-meter !!!

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea.
One called Justin and the other called Kristian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;
I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'
Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely
All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'
Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'
Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'........
'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!

Shaggy dogs don't get any shaggier.:big_tongue:

Attentive Message for Mr. Bob Clay:

Please go into a corner, put on the dunce's cap and stay there forever!!!!!!

You have excelled yourself, UNFORTUNATELY!!!!!

Rgds.
Dave

Bob my Groanometer is on FSD and there are no batteries in it.

Mine's still OK. It's got a self isolating feature.

Did you hear about the Pub that has just opened asked Paddy of his friend Micheal? No, what's so special about it he quired.
You can get free drinks and have sex in the back he said.
Who told you that?
My sister.

Laker, is there something missing?

........ and my guess is .... it wasn't caused by water !!! :jump:

I Just got back from Tesco - there was a bloke rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piñatas.

I thought to myself, Hispanic buying...

That's nasty :yawn:

It isn't, Dave. I find it amusing!

not so bad after all
 

Sailed from West lndia docks heading to the gulf getting the bar ready only drinking cans in port put a keg on tap few of us tried it tasted really soapy know body could drink it tried another same result Durban bunkers they sent most of the kegs to be swaped months later homeward bound ran out of cans @ kegs still had 6 of our u k kegs put a keg on same soapy maybe not so bad after all