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#1
22nd August 2018, 11:23
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A funny thing......
.........happened today. Getting my cereal breakfast, I put the usual Wheatabix in the bowl, added the milk and, as Mrs JJ had bought some packets of various nuts recently, grabbed one of those and sprinkled some on. While eating I noticed an odd taste. Thinking "I'll not have those nuts again", Mrs JJ drew to my attention that they were not nuts but a packet of 'Tasty Treats' for the cat!! She's still laughing.................
JJ. 
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#2
22nd August 2018, 12:34
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You are lucky to have your bowl to yourself, JJ. Not only do two of mine hanker after the milk on the muesli and bran (a disgusting concoction that is nothing like proper breakfast) but one will even take the pips in it left from the melon (which follows the medication taken post muesli). Had I made that mistake I'd have been fighting all four of them for it.
__________________
David V Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right It is the duty of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan
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#4
22nd August 2018, 20:22
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Oh dear JJ, that made me laugh too. Age doesn't matter it seems.... when my oldest daughter was around nine she developed a rash on her face, turned out she had helped herself to the peanuts bought for the bird table. Thereafter when refilling the dogs jar of chocolate drops, the label read NOT CHOCOLATE BUTTONS ASHLEY!
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#5
27th August 2018, 01:54
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When I was working as a carpenter on a new prison I went in for dinner, got my sandwiches out; brought out my tin of tuna opened it and started reading the paper, I glanced up to see everyone watching me, What! I said, they all started laughing when I looked down I had a tin of cats meat open; a second later and I would have had a fork full.
 Tugger
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#6
27th August 2018, 09:27
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You see, it's easily done! Mind you, I never had any ill effects but Mrs JJ called me an idiot. I replied, "Me - How"?
JJ.
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#7
28th August 2018, 07:09
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I kid you not ----- In a medical office building in Victoria, B.C. is a men's washroom where the urinal, and the water closet have signs on the flushers "Non potable water - do not drink."
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#8
28th August 2018, 15:47
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Another funny thing......
When I worked at Ironbridge power station back in the '70s, we worked a shift cycle that included seven night shifts on the trot - sometimes even ten if you had to cover absences. I got into the habit of not shaving during the whole period, so I would look really scruffy by my last night shift. This lead to an amusing occurrence........ Just before leaving home at about 2115hrs, I just swilled my face under the bathroom tap to wake me up a bit, grabbed a multi-coloured towel from the airing cupboard, dried off and left. When I got to work, I went to the office to relieve my oppo on evening shift. He looked at me aghast and asked me if I felt ok, as I looked like death!. I replied that I was fine. After he left I went to the control room to see the lads there and went to the No.1 unit first to chat with Nobby Clarke, the operator. He looked at me a bit funny and asked if I felt well. I said that I was ok but I'd been asked that already. Anyway, progressing on to No.2 unit, my usual routine, the operator there said, "You look awful JJ - are you sure you should be at work tonight"? I replied, "Well I thought I was ok but I'm not so sure now!! I went straight through to the shower room and looked in the mirror.....bloody heck, my face was all colours, mostly shades of green, blue and red!! I swilled off with water and all the colours went down the plughole. I then realised what had happened - all the colours had come out of that bloody towel - it was a brand new one and obviously cheap..... We all had a good laugh and it soon got around the shifts, creating a notice pinned up..."Offers invited for JJ's towel - three days sick leave guaranteed with only one application". In the CEGB, we got up to 3 days sick leave without a doctor's note. This was obviously abused and the industry slang for an illicit 3 days off, by phoning in sick varied from station to station. At Ironbridge it was called a 'Tinkler'; at Ferrybridge it was called a 'Ringer' and the best I reckoned was at Northfleet, where it was called a 'Phoney'. JJ.
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#9
20th September 2018, 09:21
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Another funny thing.......
At a recent family dinner I was telling my kids about some things that occurred when I was young. We had a dog, just a bitza type terrier which my Dad doted on - Willie, as he was called, could do no wrong. He was a great ball player - any kind, tennis, football, all sorts. Anyway, I was playing out on the front drive with a mate, kicking a football about with Willie joining in, when I accidently kicked the ball straight through our front room window - CRASH!! My Dad came out. all guns blazing...."Who did that.. WHO DID THAT"!! Quick thinking, I said "I bounced the ball Dad, but Willie headed it straight through the window". Dad paused for a few seconds then said, "Ok, ok...help me clear up the mess then". My mate said to me, "Bloody heck, I'm amazed you got away with that"! ......So was I! JJ.
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