Galley Disasters.

[Kevjacko]

I actually wasn't to sure how to start this. It's a bit like admitting your failings. And to be fair without blowing my own trumpet to much I had a canny rep so to speak. I never had a disaster of epic proportions but I did pride myself on the frequency and quality of my tabnabs when 2nd cook and baker.
One time I had spent best part of the afternoon doing some almond sugar cones. I was gonna dip the tops in melted chocolate and fill with cream the next day. I'd never made them before, chief cook was adamant it wouldn't work.
It took 3 attempts to get it right, mix,consistency, oven temp, the lot. Chief cook was cursing like a mad man as he kept shouting "it's ok Jacko I'll do your bit, you carry on with yer f****** sugar cones, that's never gonna f****** work as long as I've got a hole in me arse"" in a somewhat aggressively sarcastic manner.
Tea duties got neglected, pride was at stake I sweated like a pig. Finally just as Chief Cook was wiping tea down, I triumphantly produced 50 of the finest almond sugar cones ever seen. "Ha f*** you" I let Cookie know big style who the victor was.
Anyway, I put the cones in the flour locker overnight ready for filling and decorating next day and proceeded to spend the night lording it over Cookie in the bar.
Come the next day though, went down to the flour locker to collect the cones, and bugger me, all 50 of them had collapsed. I was gutted, I tried everything to redeem them but couldn't get them back to life. The whole lot ended up going over the wall. Cookie was over the moon as he sent the Galley Boy down to the dry stores to get a couple of boxes of biscuits out for tabnabs. He's probably still dinning out on it now....

[tony allen]

as a galley boy on a bluie indian ocean all serene .when the chief steward came in to the galley and said the the chef lady passenger "p boat" is fifty and her daughter would like a cake .any chance .well you can guess the chefs reply. one was off when the 2nd cook stepped in he
had come from cunard his name was albert ..very nice fellow ,said let me have a word with the baker ,now arthur the baker had been with blue funnel for years and was set in his ways .bread and rolls good tab nabs fair. deserts nothing to shout about .albert said knock me up a quick pastry and ill do a cake .went down to dry stores and picked one of the large flat tins of tongue ,arthur set the hobart and then give him a pastry .albert shaped it round the tin and made icing sugar in three colours ,
looked brilliant candles from the stores and ready for evening .put it it the pantry with a cover over it
.comes the evening meal and a rousing happy birthday and cake brought in placed on saloon table and the chief steward whipped off the cover only to see a balloon shaped mass with candles sticking out at different angles ..we could hear the silence in the galley.until the was a scream of laughter from the lady in question .she pick up her daughters camera and took a full roll of film with all in the saloon and "THE" cake .roars of laughter from all .chief steward brought back "THE " cake for all to see .Arthur had made a dought mix that had risen while under cover .she thought it was a ships trational joke ..arthur disappeared .albert was in the cool room chef was chewing his unlit pipe chief
stew was a red as a beetroot .ME I was pissing myself laughing because I was not it the frame
the best part for me was seeing a beef tongue on the tin ..perseus 1956
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