Tricks of The Trade

[John Fraser]

Originally Posted by Naytikos

My first trip on a 'real' ship (i.e. not a trawler), Benmacdhui. I always asked for a hard-boiled egg at breakfast. One day the egg was served barely boiled at all; the white was still translucent. Not being one to cause a fuss I began to eat it only for someone (don't remember who, could have been the 3/E), to call the steward and insist he take it back. There was a general hubub and I wished I could crawl away and hide.
That evening the same steward came and warned me that his boss, the Chief Steward, had taken umbrage and was blaming me, so had begun boiling an egg from then with a view to it being served when I requested a hard boiled egg at breakfast the next day. So, he said, I will order a fried egg for you without saying who it's for.
So said, so done: the next day I got a fried egg and apparently the Chief Steward went ballistic at his carefully prepared hard-as-a-rock egg not being claimed.

Things like that were one of the reasons I left British ships at the first opportunity.

If it was on the voyage not coast sounds like Mr. Dutch up to his nonsense

[Chadburn]

Eggs Benedict will do me with Scottish Smoked Salmon.

[Kevjacko]

Originally Posted by Dave McGouldrick

'Who called the cook a c***t?'
'Who called the c***t a cook?' - Of course you can substitute any other position for cook - Mate is good.

Urban myth or true?
A certain cook always used to leave his boots in the alleyway outside his cabin door. One night someone decided to have a dump in them. To everyone's surprise Cookie never mentioned the incident or literally cried fowl. Until pay off night when someone full of beer and going home bravado happened to announce to all and sundry in the bar that 'he knew who had s**t in the Cooks boots'.
As well you might remarked the cook. 'But I know who f***** ate it'.