virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

There is a request for us to stop throwing breadrolls at each other, it just makes work.

[Engine Serang]

If Tmac starved his wee furry rodents for a week and then let them into the galley at 02.00 hrs they could gorge themselves on the jaspers. For afters they could have Mr McCloggie's "Game".

As Shakespeare said, McCloggie doth protest too much. He knows an awful lot about scran yet won't do a stint in the galley, lets check out his tickets.

[Tmac1720]

Starve my rodent assistants?...... never in a million years I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. The injuneering staff (rodent division) feast on only the finest fillet steak and 25 year old cheese. I'll admit their farts cause the hi level alarms to frequently sound but it's a price worth paying to ensure a happy and "well oiled" in every sense of the word crew.

As for that fancy muck, no thanks, I'll stick to fish and chips and Tayto sandwiches....

[Farmer John]

Cleaning them up, you know. The breadbuns.

[Dartskipper]

If it all comes to grief, we can download the Just Eat App and send out for a pizza.

[Varley]

I'm sorry but the Kay's Catalogue doesn't do fresh food.

And, I should have added, nor does the Crusader/Atalanta/Pennant do WiFi.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by McCloggie

A very nice taster menu!

We still need some decent maim courses apart from the Italian stuff (nice though it is).

Now pasties and anchovies with anchovies on toast with anchovies are indeed wonderful culinary delights I think we must offer some alternatives. We must have a good curry option and then of course the "game" as well - pheasant, venison, grouse, rabbit and hare etc. Apart from Vietnamese type food we need to have steaks, other beef dishes, lamb, pork, (roasts of course), some seafood and chicken is always good.

For our antipodean crew members I would certainly add kangaroo, ostrich and maybe even camel and crocodile!

Now I am happy to make suggestions, BUT I am not a caterer, have never been one and will not start now!

We should recruit a decent chef - or indeed let Gordon do his own thing in the galley!

McC

Sorry Mr McCloggie but I think that you have included the wrong bird. We would never eat Ostrich, maybe a little Emu from time-to-time. 'Though for myself I have only eaten Kangaroo and that was in my childhood when I had no say in what was served.

[ssr481]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

... Laugh?... the tears ran down my legs ....

Are ya sure those were tears running down your legs???

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Varley

It seems incomplete in the extreme. There's nothing I can drink on this bit. Whine, whine, where's the wine?

My goodness, it's Varley. I thought you had fallen overboard on one of our previous adventures. It is good to have you back. Can you please knock some sense into some of the crew. They will listen to you.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by ssr481

Are ya sure those were tears running down your legs???

Gosh, now SSR has flown in for a quick Howdy! All we need now is to hear from Sister Pat and we are a complete crew again.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

"Substantial Down Payment.."

This chap didn't have a brother who was a very good friend of the cousin of the President of Nigeria, and was the Foreign Exchange Director of a bank trying to move gazillions of $U.S. into a foreign country and avoiding tax in the process? By all means accept graciously the 5 cases of replenishment, but be EXTREeeeeemly careful of making any kind of "down payment." These fellows in cream suits, crocodile skin shoes, panama hats and sunglasses all have very deep pockets and very short arms! You may never see the money again.

No! Dartskipper -- they will never see the money again. If they don't show up with the "merchandise" to be transported, along with a voyage plan, AND the balance of our fee, we'll be taking off with the "Substantial Down Payment" AND full fuel tanks. If they want to mess with us, I'm sure SSR will assist with his whirly-birds, and if push really comes to shove his B29.

[billyboy]

SSR has the ability and skill to blast any foe from the charts.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

No! Dartskipper -- they will never see the money again. If they don't show up with the "merchandise" to be transported, along with a voyage plan, AND the balance of our fee, we'll be taking off with the "Substantial Down Payment" AND full fuel tanks. If they want to mess with us, I'm sure SSR will assist with his whirly-birds, and if push really comes to shove his B29.

Ah, got it now. He paid us.

Why are we still here?

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Red-17

My goodness, it's Varley. I thought you had fallen overboard on one of our previous adventures. It is good to have you back. Can you please knock some sense into some of the crew. They will listen to you.

Listen to Varley!!! Have you taken leave of your senses, my dear. If you knew half of what he got up to during his recent visit to London it would turn your hair grey. and you would be known as Grey 17.
We might listen to Tmac........ but there again he has led many of us astray........many times. We're a lost cause, a lost cause. Lets have a wet in the Pax Lounge to relax.

[Tmac1720]

Infamy....INFAMY !!!!! they have all got it in for me

Lead you lot astray?...moi?.... you lot have committed sins, indiscretion's, felonies, misdemeanours and transgressions many of which have not yet made it to the statute books and all without any assistance or encouragement from me.

As a gang of nefarious cutthroats, bandits and larcenous rogues we are second to none, and long may we continue to stay well clear of the sticky paw of the revenue men and their cohorts

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Infamy....INFAMY !!!!! they have all got it in for me

Lead you lot astray?...moi?.... you lot have committed sins, indiscretion's, felonies, misdemeanours and transgressions many of which have not yet made it to the statute books and all without any assistance or encouragement from me.

Yep. And all before lunch, too.

[Engine Serang]

#" have committed sins, indiscretion's, felonies, misdemeanours and transgressions many of which have not yet made it to the statute books".

Sounds like an afternoon in Belfast Crown Court.

Sorry, Sorry; Belfast Crown Liquor Saloon.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Ah, got it now. He paid us.

Why are we still here?

We have been awaiting our contr.... sorry ---- cargo. Mr. McCloggie, perhaps you would be so kind as to stow the 10 suitcases IN the aftermast. (There is a secret door in way of #5 hatch - accessed by playing "Oh! Danny Boy" on the ship's Kazoo)

I will open our sealed orders after we clear Nassau Harbour in the a.m. -- single up right after breakfast at 11:00 hours.

[McCloggie]

Zzz Zzz zzz zz zzzz zzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zz zz Zzzzzz zz zz zzz.

No, nothing happening!

Can the Chief Injuneer please assist and give me rendition of Oh Danny Boy so I get the tune right?

McC

[billyboy]

try this version.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0ZNXxPP10I

[Farmer John]

Try the very aft most mast, I think you are whistling to the Starboard aft Samson post.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Try the very aft most mast, I think you are whistling to the Starboard aft Samson post.

Also -- I think we purchased that Kazoo when we were in Toronto, when we went up the St. Lawrence Seaway -- so has to be played in the key of Eh?

[Varley]

Will you please try and read the morning paper (as you obviously can't read bloody music). Anyone know of a cage we can Rattle to get a professional to help?

[Farmer John]

I would have you know that my musical skills are superb. I have played in front of The Prince of Wales. Then we moved on and played in front of the Rose and Crown, during the day we visited 15 pubs. We only played in front of the the first 10.

I suggest that someone murmurs "Open Sesame!" and then lights a gas axe.

[Varley]

Despite what they say about blowing one's own trumpet, self praise is no recommendation.

Here, use my lighter.