virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

There's quite a few names on the Deviant Card, Tom. Who did you have in mind to add to the list?

All the compasses are fine, although some of the points needed sharpening.

Checked the bearing of the Moon, and there seemed to be a reflection on the fo'c'sle head. It might have been a Plastico mooning the bridge, on second thoughts.

Actually -- it was my head -- I'd gone up to the fo'c'sle to reflect on the job at hand -- and being tonsorially challenged, and with no hat, I inadvertently provided the reflection. If you noticed that I always wear a hat outside when it is raining heavily, it is not because I don't like getting wet, but rather because I can't stand the noise.

[Dartskipper]

I think we had better look at the Ship's Articles again, Tom. I didn't think that we signed on for wet weather. I distinctly remember somebody saying "Fair winds and following seas."

[billyboy]

Sigh! ... Afraid my head does that too Tom

[Tmac1720]

The injunes and the electrickery generator thingamobobs will be off line for a few hours so you lot can use candles or the reflection of baldy heads for light in the meantime.... there are loads of fun things you can do in the dark anyhoo

Squeek has gone on strike because "somebody" referred to him as ratty which, although he is of that rodent genus fervently dislikes the term rat/ratty/rodent features.

As usual it falls to me to placate his wounded feelings however rest assured the miscreant will be found and suitably chastised....(you all saw what happened to Sir William's house and he only ignored saying good morning to Squeek !!!)

[Farmer John]

I am sure Squeek knows that we all respect his work and would never attempt to insult him. If it will amuse him, he may look at his reflection in my shiny bald head, then move on to Sir William's, Then Tom's. If that doesn't convince him that he is at a funfair, nothing will, it's blooming hilarious.

[Engine Serang]

I don't think a Donkey Greaser or more correctly a Ratty Greaser should be allowed to hold the ship to ransom by shutting down the air-con in this climate. The Master at Arms, Mr mcCloggie must frog march, or more correctly, Rat March him to the brig until he comes to his senses.
For balance, and with my hand on my heart, I can say some of my best friends are rodents and only a few of them are transvestites.

[Engine Serang]

The gyro in my cabin, stateroom, seems stuck at NWbyW, whatever that means. Could some of our baldies tell me where the hell we are?

[Dartskipper]

Bermuda Triangle.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

The injunes and the electrickery generator thingamobobs will be off line for a few hours so you lot can use candles or the reflection of baldy heads for light in the meantime.... there are loads of fun things you can do in the dark anyhoo

Squeek has gone on strike because "somebody" referred to him as ratty which, although he is of that rodent genus fervently dislikes the term rat/ratty/rodent features.

As usual it falls to me to placate his wounded feelings however rest assured the miscreant will be found and suitably chastised....(you all saw what happened to Sir William's house and he only ignored saying good morning to Squeek !!!)

Just in case you are in any doubt guys......

[Engine Serang]

Have increased security on my villa in sunny East Antrim. It was built by Polish brickies and will not survive a prolonged onslaught by Tmac's hordes of chipmonkey friends. I wish I was nicer to Squeek and the other guy. Bigmouth.
Memo: increase insurance on villa.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Just in case you are in any doubt guys......

Where's the loo??

[McCloggie]

The Master at Arms, Mr mcCloggie must frog march, or more correctly, Rat March him to the brig until he comes to his senses.

While I understand that industrial unrest can cause inconvenience, anger and even fury we must not loose sight of the fact that persons may have some very valid grievances and simply throwing them into the brig may be actually cause some unforeseen consequences.

Additionally, it must be remembered that the GD does not operate on the same terms as a warship under the Articles of War and Queens Regulations where go-slows, strikes and the refusal to obey orders are automatically disciplinary offences.

So, prior to marching anyone off to the brig I shall attempt to find the root cause of this disturbance, calm down all parties involved and hopefully ensure that normal service is resumed as soon as possible.

McC

[Engine Serang]

A man of level headed good sense, not to be goaded into a rash decision.
It will be interesting to see if your attitude changes when one of the beasties runs up the leg of your regulation bell-bottom trousers and sniffs around for nuts. Tee Hee and up he rises.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

I don't think a Donkey Greaser or more correctly a Ratty Greaser should be allowed to hold the ship to ransom by shutting down the air-con in this climate. The Master at Arms, Mr mcCloggie must frog march, or more correctly, Rat March him to the brig until he comes to his senses.
For balance, and with my hand on my heart, I can say some of my best friends are rodents and only a few of them are transvestites.

you are a braver man than me Gunga Din

I take it then you have no further need for your dangly bits, Squeek is most partial to a plump testicle Teeth like feckin' razor blades

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Where's the loo??

in the car park beside the cooker

[Tmac1720]

Power is back on however you will note the addition of a pay meter on the bulkhead of your cabin. Please note this equipment does NOT accept washers, rupees or other foreign coins, blanking pieces or casino chips. Any attempt to by pass the meter will result in the miscreant being left in complete darkness with the air con set at a minimum of -40c and no hot water or flushing toilet (a slop bucket may be found in the wardrobe) Chargeable rate is £5 (sterling) per hour, payable in advance.

The injuneering department don't really regret imposing this charge as the "Injuneers going ashore jolly fund" requires much additional funding. Thank you for your cooperation however any complaints must be lodged in writing and posted into the boiler uptake.

[McCloggie]

Please note that these restrictions were not part of my attempts to resolve the Injuneering Departments grievances or find a solution!

Can I invite the Chief Engineer to join me for some Bushmills Malt and Scapa and a private meeting where we can resolve these differences?

Having said that it would appear that the issues originate from his own department!

McC

[Dartskipper]

Things may calm down once we are out of the Bermuda Triangle. It is well documented that strange stuff happens, and people's perceptions of reality lose focus. Once we are South of Haiti and Cuba (I managed to avoid using the words Windward Passage, oh damn, no I didn't!), you will find that life aboard the GDII returns to its normal chaotic disorganised routine.

Make mine a double Ronrico Gold and lime.

[billyboy]

that bit with the maroon tiles used to be the loo.
The cur...cor cour.....wrinkly metal bit was borrowed (nicked) from H&W football club. (can still smell the Guinness on it). The large building in the background is where we are at the moment. When buildong complete should look like the secomd pic. and all will be flood free.....Wheeeeeeeeeeee

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Power is back on however you will note the addition of a pay meter on the bulkhead of your cabin. Please note this equipment does NOT accept washers, rupees or other foreign coins, blanking pieces or casino chips. Any attempt to by pass the meter will result in the miscreant being left in complete darkness with the air con set at a minimum of -40c and no hot water or flushing toilet (a slop bucket may be found in the wardrobe) Chargeable rate is £5 (sterling) per hour, payable in advance.

Wow! I thought we were in the Caribbean, but it seems more like we are firmly wedged between British Columbia and Alberta in Canada with everyone claiming theirs is bigger than the others'. (Whatever it is that is bigger!) Here in Canuckland we have threats of turning off, or at least slowing down the flow of oil and wine. (Farmer John; Maybe we could consided reducing the pipe from the Black Bush header tank to the injun room back to its original size?? Only as a start, of course.)

[Tom Alexander]

OK gang -- time to shelve our differences (bigger, or smaller) and meet in the PAX lounge for a strategy planning session to secretly enter Venzuelan waters. To encourage attendance at this meeting, of course, there will be an open bar with all purchases courtesy of the management. (They have no idea who they are, they'll just get the bill.) Yes, steward, I'll have the Zamboni Special --- triple rum with shaved ice from the ice rink in #1 hold.)

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

triple rum with shaved ice from the ice rink in #1 hold.)

Is that with teeth or without?

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

OK gang -- time to shelve our differences (bigger, or smaller)

Capital idea, if I shelve my differences with Tmac can I share in the "Injuneers going ashore jolly fund". Principals are principles but we can't let them bugger up a good run ashore with Tmac and the lads.

[billyboy]

PAX lounge it is then guys. I have no beef with anyone to clear up (except maybe for that plastic Steward that keeps patting my bottom)

[McCloggie]

Skates off, ice-Hockey kit off, quick shower and I will join you all in the lounge.

McC