virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

Merciful heavens, you are making me feel akin to a 65 year old woman brought up in a ... I nearly said monastery but that must be wrong. A nunnery?

I would not have anything added to my body (though many bits have been cut away after dismasting and the receiving of a full broadside, fire as we bear ), the notion of having a full pack of hounds tattooed down my back and a foxes brush protruding from the fundament as a well known but not fully recorded adornment to the Matelot's body is interesting but not attractive...

Pint of Creme de Menthe anyone? Makes your mouth feel squeaky clean.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Nah, he makes a hell of a racket in the shower I have it on good authority he has his Prince Albert connected to his nipples... no wonder he walks funny

Nah thats Cinema cramp Tmac. (fly buttons through waistcoat button holes keeps one in the stooped possition)

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Merciful heavens, you are making me feel akin to a 65 year old woman brought up in a ... I nearly said monastery but that must be wrong. A nunnery?

I would not have anything added to my body (though many bits have been cut away after dismasting and the receiving of a full broadside, fire as we bear ), the notion of having a full pack of hounds tattooed down my back and a foxes brush protruding from the fundament as a well known but not fully recorded adornment to the Matelot's body is interesting but not attractive...

Pint of Creme de Menthe anyone? Makes your mouth feel squeaky clean.

PINT!!!!????? FJ, you need to report to the sick bay AT ONCE.

[Tom Alexander]

Pint of Creme de Menthe?? --- all we need is a couple of gallons of top quality vanilla ice cream, and two quarts of whipped cream, and we can have Creme de Menthe parfaits all round. Oh! and a couple of jars of Maraschino Cherries to adorn the tops!!

[Engine Serang]

My friend from Glasgow tells me that the Pope is overly fond of a Crème de Menthe.
Speaking for myself a thimbleful would give me the bokes.

[billyboy]

Nothing short of a Magnum of Dom for RED 17.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

My friend from Glasgow tells me that the Pope is overly fond of a Crème de Menthe.

If he drinks pints of that shit no wonder they carry him about in a chair

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Red-17

PINT!!!!????? FJ, you need to report to the sick bay AT ONCE.

I drink pints of Black Bush washed down with a red diesel chaser, great concoction, you get drunk from the feet up. Nobody knows you're pissed until you try to stand up

[Engine Serang]

Did you pay the Excise Duty on your red diesel?


Our Vicki was called Victoria when at school. She found nursey training a bit harrowing and took to Matilda beer and red diesel chasers, or shots as her age group calls them. The dye in the diesel kept turning her.. red, hence the nickname. This happened 17 times until she discovered that sniffing leaded petrol was a much more satisfying experience.
I know I have broken a confidence telling the above story but I feel Victoria will forgive me in time, its not in her nature to seek revenge.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Did you pay the Excise Duty on your red diesel?

In Norn Iron ???? you are taking the piss now

[Farmer John]

Big sales of white bread...

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Did you pay the Excise Duty on your red diesel?

As the Admiral secretly registered GDII as a ferry, and therefore a vessel that provides a valuable public service, we claim back any VAT and duty paid.


(This was a little known law that a friend in HMRC told me about. Until we are informed differently, we shall be submitting our annual claim again soon. Moving members of the public from one continent to another can be very lucrative.)

[billyboy]

I agree Dart skipper. we have had the occasional PAX job in the past. as our 28 PAX cabins rival those of a millionaires yacht (which indeed the GD is) I would suggest to our agent that we need more inter island trips to keep us all in the millionaire bracket.
Having just gone through the figures I find that Tmac is the wealthiest among us (due to the fact he's never out of the Engine room long enough to spend anything)
If Tom would be so kind as to inform our agent of our whereabouts at all times maybe we could acquire more Executive class passenger trips from up market companies wishing to treat their upper management. (they also claim tax back on it) And, for us the perks are nice. some of those private secretary s are very nice.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

If Tom would be so kind as to inform our agent of our whereabouts at all times maybe we could acquire more Executive class passenger trips from up market companies wishing to treat their upper management. (they also claim tax back on it) And, for us the perks are nice. some of those private secretary s are very nice.

I do let our agent know where we are most of the time (unless we are on clandestine -- really lucrative business). I do perceive we might be able to drum up some executive business on our own as well. (No agent fees that way either!)

[Farmer John]

BBBRrrrrrrr, brainfreeze, that Creme de Menthe is strange stuff. I only had a half, I am a responsible person. Necked a small jar of cocktail cherries too.

Think I'll go lie down.

[McCloggie]

If Tom would be so kind as to inform our agent of our whereabouts at all times maybe we could acquire more Executive class passenger trips from up market companies wishing to treat their upper management. (they also claim tax back on it) And, for us the perks are nice. some of those private secretary s are very nice.


I do know of one or two executive class passengers in Malaysia who would probably jump at the chance of a trip on the GD to get themselves out of the country - they were voted out of power a couple of weeks ago and the sh1t is beginning to hit the fan!

Sadly though the new Government seems to have confiscated all handbags, luxury cars, jewlery and cash already so I am not sure how we would get paid.

McC

[Dartskipper]

TMac's 12" shifter and flogging spanner might encourage them to find some acceptable financial recompense. If not, we could send Sqweek up their trouser legs to see what they might be hiding in their pockets.

[billyboy]

now you know why I wear Bicycle clip[s ha ha

[Tom Alexander]

On second thoughts, it might be difficult to find high paying passengers who would meet our (relatively) high moral standards. Maybe stick to free passage for the likes of St. Trinians netball team, etc.

[Varley]

I do know a titled lady but my Albert is just vulgar gold. I am not sure I would not like it to have a rather lower rank (at least to begin with). An occasional "Arise Sir Albert" would be music to the ears.

[Farmer John]

Titanium, whilst not as attractive a metal as Gold, is considerably lighter and does not bend so easily (I presume it's behaviour under hammering is not to be considered). I did find with my Titanium handlebars that a small deformation can lead to sudden collapse. However, as this occurred when I decamped to one side of a car on a bend whilst my bike went the other side this, again, may not concern you unduly.

Woke up this morning with six empty tubes of toothpaste beside my bed. Perhaps my attempts to wean myself off Creme de Menthe are going to meet with greater problems than I had anticipated.

[Varley]

A hammering? No, the days of my youth are behind me (and its damned difficult getting a replacement, or a pretty one anyway).

[Engine Serang]

[QUOTE=Dartskipper;14273]As the Admiral secretly registered GDII as a ferry, and therefore a vessel that provides a valuable public service, we claim back any VAT and duty paid. QUOTE]



Admiral Benbow, Billy Bones and Israel Hand rowed ashore that morning to meet the Excise Man in the Town of Bideford in the County of Devonshire. Lieutenant Trelawney insisted that "Ye Olde Golden Dreamer" be categorised as a Galleon but Billy Bones made a beautiful argument that it should be a Ferry. Billy was given good supporting material by our old shipmate Pew and the Lieutenant saw the error of his ways.


As the Admiral said on return to the ship, Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Chateau Petrus.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Varley

I do know a titled lady but my Albert is just vulgar gold. I am not sure I would not like it to have a rather lower rank (at least to begin with). An occasional "Arise Sir Albert" would be music to the ears.

I know That feeling Varley.....LOL

[billyboy]

Steward! Prepare the pool bar for a party. Free drinkies for all today on my tab. Celebrating my 76th today.