virtual crazy gang, part II

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by McCloggie

DS - can we meet in the bar please and discuss our silent departure?

I can ensure that the cut-outs remain quiet but we need to organise and understand signals for them. Flares, roman candles and general shouting of orders are presumably not appropriate!

I would suggest we utilise one or two cut-outs on the dockside to slip us and then the use of cranes and personnel basket to pick them up.

I they are not too afraid we should be able to perform the "slipex" in silence>

McC

I concur with your suggestion Mr McC, but we could single up moorings, and run long lines around the bollards ashore, bringing the eyes back on board, so that we won't have to run the risk of noisy cranes and personnel baskets banging the side as we recover the cut outs.

A pint of Oranjeboom steward please, just for the thirst. We can start on the harder stuff later.

[billyboy]

Nefarious you say Tmac ... sounds like a challenge that.
Right. theres 3 ships moored ahead of us and three astern. .... Cut outs, hop ashore and cast off every mooring line you can see,
We will depart on our electric engines and fire the ********* ones up as we cross the bar. our wash shoul move the other ships about a bit. Harbour master will be so busy in the morning sorting that lot out he wont notice we have departed (without paying Dues) till we are well away heh heh heh

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Speaking as a "Mick, as you so delicately put it, (with all the diplomacy Mr Trump lacks) , I am quite unaware of the need for iodine in an IED.
Mr V please educate us.

Compliments will get you everywhere ES but I will draw a veil of forgetfulness over my youthfull adventures with home made fireworks. Suffice it to say I am lucky to still have both my fingers and all three legs. Weedkiller and sugar worked well (with filter papers soaked in various metal salts as wadding one could make a re-useable, passably good, roman candle) but I never made workable gunpowder (nor did Uncle Bruv who tried to do so one Christmas with late Cousin's first Chemistry set).

[Varley]

Dear me, I didn't mean to offend. Should I have used Paddy? I am aware of certain pharmacological practices from enemy occupied Hibernia from an Irish Lady in whose company I quite often take a glass or two. They usually end up with the employment of some liquid remedy produced either evaporatively in a bothy or from one's own bladder.

(If you wonder why there are not many Plymouth Brethren in your neck of the woods it may be because her one recorded success was the cure of a young one of that tribe who she dosed with a full jug of poteen. She was quite well again when she woke up but the flu would only have lasted those three or four days anyway).

[McCloggie]

I concur with your suggestion Mr McC, but we could single up moorings, and run long lines around the bollards ashore, bringing the eyes back on board, so that we won't have to run the risk of noisy cranes and personnel baskets banging the side as we recover the cut outs.

A pint of Oranjeboom steward please, just for the thirst. We can start on the harder stuff later.


One would hope that the personnel baskets (or indeed Frogs) would not be banging off the sides of the ship - but I take your point!


I presume that Sir Williams idea of a quick escape involves the thrusters to go sidey-ways without resorting to springs. So be it.


To serious matters - as for Oranjeboom no thank you! It is the worst headache beer in the world. A pint of Hertog Jan for me please if we are on Eurofiz - if not a nice pint of Tger please!

McC

[Dartskipper]

OK steward, belay that order for Oranjeboom, make it Amstel instead. Ice cold, if you please.

[Engine Serang]

Tmac and his loyal band of oily persons is having a Sipex on the bottom plates but are smart enough to avoid the Oranjieboom. We would rather distill the essence of sweaty sox and jox and drink it, in fact guys off with your skiddies.
Lord T says Tampa is a cut above the noisy sweaty Orlean Nua and one in which the Black Gang will be comfortable.

[Farmer John]

What are these "Thrusters" of which you speak? Some kind of giant oar, manned to correct errors caused by faulty tugging (if that is the term I need)?

I'll have just poured a pint of "Crafty Old Hen", a tasty beer rather than the pissy lagery stuff many consume.

[Engine Serang]

A schooner of Old Speckled Squeek can be refreshing in the tropics but is far too effervescent for the Edwardian genteelness of spivvy occupied Mona. Our electrictkial sideways thingy is not an big whore but in fact a Boegschroef. If you are insistent on a big whore just check the third cabin on the Orlop Deck.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

OK steward, belay that order for Oranjeboom, make it Amstel instead. Ice cold, if you please.

Oh! Come on, you guys -- what's with this ice cold stuff --- How about a nice bottle of Guiness, off the shelf, poured into a pint glass containing 3 oz. of Paarl Port. We used to call that concoction "Niggers Blood" but now, of course totally politically incorrect.

[billyboy]

schphecled ch hickens Hic! Sh kooners, We him der bumbuda twangle....Hic!

[Varley]

I am not sure there is enough electrickery laid on for a forced draft job fed from the Orlop DB. Is that cabin port of starboard? I'll wander down and check if you like.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by billyboy

schphecled ch hickens Hic! Sh kooners, We him der bumbuda twangle....Hic!

Yep, I know what you mean, Sir.

Steward! Another round please.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

schphecled ch hickens Hic! Sh kooners, We him der bumbuda twangle....Hic!

About 7.30 by my watch, Sir William. If you wish to have a nap, I will wake you to dress for dinner.

I know what you mean about twangle.

[Dartskipper]

Wasn't that a model made by Renault a few years ago?

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Wasn't that a model made by Renault a few years ago?

I would have bought one. The triangular steering wheel and the plasticine suspension would have dragged me in.

[McCloggie]

I never knew Sir William came from the Netherlands!

McC

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by McCloggie

I never knew Sir William came from the Netherlands!

McC

Actually, I think it was the Never Lands. Everything was purchased on the "Never Never Plan" ---- Think of it as the Charge of the Golden Dreamer Brigade!

[Tom Alexander]

Mr. McCloggie -- Would you please arrange for some cutouts to add some "wings" to the top of the funnel and paint it in Carnival colours. I've convinced their head office that their ship the Carnival Dreamer is docking at their terminal in St. Pete's tomorrow morning. (Just in case Tmac objects to any disturbance of his funnel suite, please place a peace offering of a 40 gallon drum of Black Bush beside his tinted double sliding glass doors.)

Think I'll turn in with a bottle of Four Bells.

[Tmac1720]

Tom after such a magnanimous gesture my funnel suite is at your disposal when required. Please give at least 1 hours notice prior to occupancy in order that the rat shit, empty bottles and other sunder detritus may be removed.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Tom after such a magnanimous gesture my funnel suite is at your disposal when required. Please give at least 1 hours notice prior to occupancy in order that the rat shit, empty bottles and other sunder detritus may be removed.

And for you to neck most of the Black Bush?

Give him 30 minutes, and take a glass with you, McCloggie. Anyway it would take Hercules to divert his stream to hose that place out.

[McCloggie]

The Cut-outs funnel Camouflage, Repair and Lifetime Extension party have prefabricated the "wings" and are now standing by to commence the on-site work. They will also be available to assist Tmac with the clean up and relocation as required.


I do not want to upset anybody here so maybe if I were to bring some of my Scapa and Tmac some of Bushmills we could discuss a suitable time for the actual work to begin?


McC

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by McCloggie

The Cut-outs funnel Camouflage, Repair and Lifetime Extension party have prefabricated the "wings" and are now standing by to commence the on-site work. They will also be available to assist Tmac with the clean up and relocation as required.


I do not want to upset anybody here so maybe if I were to bring some of my Scapa and Tmac some of Bushmills we could discuss a suitable time for the actual work to begin?


McC

Better get at it, Mr. McC ---- we're almost there.

Pilot in 6 hours -- price to board the GD is one case of Jack Daniels Tennessee whisky - (Well - they spell it Whiskey!)

[billyboy]

Ooooh, a funnel suite party. Good oh! we can be quite piscatorial for entering port then. I'll bring a bottle or three.

[McCloggie]

Dear God - What next?

First things first - who has the case of Bourbon (what our septic friends call Whiskey)? Can somebody please provide this so we can engage our Pilot. The case should be delivered to my Master at Arms office under high security so I can lock it in there.

Sir William - a funnel suite party sounds like a great idea BUT the cut-outs must clean the area out and complete the requested changes before we can open the area for general use. It is still full of scaffolding, crane lifts will be ongoing, hot work to be done and the area is still isolated off so there is no power.

On top of all that we are still trying to persuade Tmac and his menagerie to vacate his quarters and to be honest, the barrel of Bushmills (plus my Scapa) seems to be more of a hindrance rather than a peace making offering.

Having said that the two of us seem to be enjoying ourselves and the world rectification committee is in full session.

Can I suggest we steam round in a big circle until we have finished our deliberations, cleaned out the suite and completed the woek?

McC