virtual crazy gang, part II

[Rodney]

Y'all seem a bit top heavy with deck officers, sparks, and pig iron polishers and if nobody has applied yet I have a ships cooks ticket. Actually I was the youngest ever to pass, up to that time, aged nineteen. I still have the original amongst my memorabilia #40151. Though it's somewhat old now, Aug. 1953, I assume the B.O.T. still recognizes it, so I volunteer for the ships cook's position.

[Dartskipper]

We all like giving out instructions and commands Rodney, but nobody ever listens to them. Some of the crew are quite firm in guarding their areas of responsibility, but that doesn't stop them offering advice in other areas. I'm sure the owners and shore side staff would be happy to consider your application, but now you're on board, the Galley's that way....!

[Chadburn]

Having sailed with Hogarths, a decent Ships Cook is welcome.

[billyboy]

Stand still Rodney, I am on my way up to you with Articles waiting to be signed.

There, well done Rodney! come with me and I'll show you around. Heres the Galley, as you can see spotless apart from the fridge handles, someone from the engineering department has been here during the night. That door is to the walk in cold store. pantry over here. That door opposite is to your suite.
Stewards! New bedding in the senior cooks suite please!
Rodney you have full control of menu. Most of us like an English Breakfast with Coffee and toast.
Have a look round and anything you need you Order from Pats. she will then inform Varley our communications officer who will order ahead.
Oh I nearly forgot, Heres your welcome aboard bottle of four bells.

[billyboy]

be sure we are glad to have you aboard Rodney.

Tannoy: all crew please note. Galley is now under command of Rodney and his 3 designated plastic Stewards. Be sure to give him a nice welcome.

[Farmer John]

I must have been miscounting last night, sloth has six letters in it (six fingers on each hand, I think that's right).

A cook! The cook is the one that keeps you going, as is the engineer, but the cook doesn't have black oily clothing and hands (apart from the one is the last bar we visited before the Great Day of Flatulence). Welcome aboard.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I think a Dragon would not be a good idea. whoever heard of a Bar-B-Qed dragon?

Red-17, can you draw some red and green paraffin from Pats store for our navigation lights please?

Remember, only handle the red in your left hand and the green in your right lest they become contaminated and confused as to their identity.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I think a Dragon would not be a good idea. whoever heard of a Bar-B-Qed dragon?

Red-17, can you draw some red and green paraffin from Pats store for our navigation lights please?

The YMs belongs to a group of old biddies who work for charity and I offered them a loan of my dragon as their mascot. Their reaction was similar to that of Billyboy. Perhaps I will just bank his fire and smuggle him aboard in a TEU ostensibly filled with Marmite that seems so popular here although I have no idea as to why this is so.
I will keep him hidden from our new Cook Rodney just in case he is looking for something to BBQ.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Rodney, I have no authority, but you're hired!!! I keep chickens, although I'm not sure where I keep them anymore. So, providing no one has BBQ'd them the day before, you'll have fresh eggs. Welcome aboard. Make an appointment with me and I'll fit you (that's the fun part ) with your uniform. No one has claim the Swedish Chef uniform. Do you want it?

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I think a Dragon would not be a good idea. whoever heard of a Bar-B-Qed dragon?

Red-17, can you draw some red and green paraffin from Pats store for our navigation lights please?

Aye Aye Sir, Will attend to that as soon as I have the sheep out of the garden. I didn't know we had any sheep until Mundrabilla brought them to my attention. Hang on? Aren't those sheep from the property at Mundrabilla? If this keeps up, what with chickens, mules and now sheep we will need to convert another area to a farm yard.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Remember, only handle the red in your left hand and the green in your right lest they become contaminated and confused as to their identity.

Tell me something I don't know YM!

[Red-17]

Welcome aboard Rodney. We have plenty of honey and peanut butter as well as different varieties of those vile tasting black spread, like vegemite etc. If YM's sheep stay we should also have some sheep's milk, makes a great smelly cheese. If you like I can show you how to make it, although it does require the stomach of a sheep to ferment in.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Stand still Rodney, I am on my way up to you with Articles waiting to be signed.

Oh I nearly forgot, Heres your welcome aboard bottle of four bells.

OK billyboy, I never got a bottle of four bells, or anything else for that matter, when I joined up.

[billyboy]

you have not looked in all the cupboards in your suite then Red-17. Plenty of bottles including a fine champers in your suite. More I might add then any other ctrw person got when they joined.
And all because we all love you...

[billyboy]

Acteally thoght i was at sea this morning. 04:25, a 7.2 earthquake woke us up. House still intact.
Thanks to Tmacs Titanic rivets.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by ssr481

Work.. ain't that a four letter word???

I've always known it as a dirty four letter word ending in "K"

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

OK, so what's with Marmite, Vegemite, Bovril? Are there any other such spreads that we can add to the list? The three listed all have three things in common, they can be spread on toast, made into a broth solution and to the uninitiated can taste pretty vile.

Yes, all three can be spread on toast, but it's much better to slather on a good laying of fresh beef dripping first.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Aye Aye Sir, Will attend to that as soon as I have the sheep out of the garden. I didn't know we had any sheep until Mundrabilla brought them to my attention. Hang on? Aren't those sheep from the property at Mundrabilla? If this keeps up, what with chickens, mules and now sheep we will need to convert another area to a farm yard.

#2 hatch lower tween decks are not in use at the moment, so it would be quite OK to set up a hyrdoponic garden there in the port and starboard climate controlled refer lockers.. I think Tmac and Varley with the combined electrical experience would work fine. We can then grow our veggies there and expand the lawns on the garden deck for the animals.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

For those members of the crew and domestic team who aren't that interested in watching the fighting on the ice rink, our entertainments officer has informed me that he has arranged for an exhibition tennis match to be played on the upper deck aft of the swimming pool. He has instructed the deck gang to build a clay court for the match to be played on. He has also arranged for our intrepid military chopper jockey to fetch the two participants from that passing cruise liner. They are those very well known Russian tennis stars, Hannah Gruntalotski and Maria Shriekitova. Arrangements have also been made with a sub clause in their contracts that should we pass through a tropical storm during the match, they are to stop playing tennis immediately and start mud wrestling instead.

TANNOY: Varley, in order to support this spectacular spectacle, and in light of the fact that we are in the Southern Hemisphere, Woluld you please light the St. Elmo's Fire for all our new hands who have not witnessed that before?

[Tom Alexander]

Yes - we are indeed in the Southern Hemisphere and approx 2000 miles SW of the Cook Islands, heading for (as I noted sometime ago!!!!) Auckland. ETA noon the day after tomorrow.

[billyboy]

Aukland eh!...golly good. nice run ashore there will do us all good.
Steward!...full English please and dont forget the Coffee and Rum to wash it down.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

TANNOY: Varley, in order to support this spectacular spectacle, and in light of the fact that we are in the Southern Hemisphere, Woluld you please light the St. Elmo's Fire for all our new hands who have not witnessed that before?

Roger that. The Wimshurst machine is at full belt while I get the two Van de Graff's on line. If that doesn't encourage a little discharge or three I don't know what will. Please keep the corks in the Gripewater and White Gloss. A cold discharge might not cause ignition but one cutout, careless with the Leyden jars, and there'll not just be delamination but crispy disintegration followed by a tippy-flaggy-stiffy-over-the-wall ceremony.

[Varley]

Arggh, the bathwater's going the wrong way I've washed the wrong leg first.

[billyboy]

Hmmmm My in suite compass is 180 degree out??? strange that! Gyros still right though.

Pool bar opening on my tab guys.
Jim flew off in stealth mode during the night. Gone to a secret destination to obtain unmentionable items for us.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Sir William, Sir, I still have in my possession one of your Titanium American Express Cards, but it has expired. Might I get a new one? Lots of shopping to do, you know. The crew's shopping list is extensive and a bit kinky....though no one has asked for a patch kit for their blow-up dolls....yet.