virtual crazy gang, part II

Farmer John · #**3276** 2nd July 2018, 16:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Apparently none of them went to The Boulevard, nuf said.

I will have you know I was frowned at by no less a person than Ivan D Allison. "We reserve that for our best cadets" he said, then denied me a reference. Great man of infinite perception.

Dartskipper · #**3277** 2nd July 2018, 21:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Time Charter, Demurrage and Hague-Visby are terms long forgotten by our deck department. Ofttimes I lie in the bunk awake wondering if they are any more conversant with terms such as Mercator, Long by Chron and Pilotage? Apparently none of them went to The Boulevard, nuf said.

You don't need a compass or a sextant or a chronometer to navigate in the Bahamas.

You need a Medium.....

Varley · #**3278** 2nd July 2018, 23:55

But how, pray, does one get there in the first place?

billyboy · #**3279** 3rd July 2018, 00:19

we leave that to Tom Varley. He always navigates us to the exact position.

Tom Alexander · #**3280** 3rd July 2018, 06:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Slieu Doo looks like a bastardisation of the Irish Sliabh Dhu or Black Mountain. Could we make potato vodka in the steering flat and market it as Black Mountain Still, another Serang brainwave.

You're going to have that Steering Flat idea OK'd by Tmac --- that is in his purvue, although he does alllow us to take certain qualified guests there when in port so that we can show them the steering gear.

Tom Alexander · #**3281** 3rd July 2018, 06:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley

But how, pray, does one get there in the first place?

It's where the coffee and rum stains overlap on the chart.

Farmer John · #**3282** 3rd July 2018, 09:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

It's where the coffee and rum stains overlap on the chart.

OK, which end of the cigar burn?

Varley · #**3283** 3rd July 2018, 10:24

That is because he only announces where we are going after we get there.

I can see the similarities between intersecting of the glass rings and hyperbolic radio navigation. Perhaps there should be an M notice warning of possible confusion with Loran and Decca overlays.

Can we please check that there is no small island or shallow danger under the cigar burn. It really would have been better if you had not tipped a large gripetini into the ECDIS. That didn't mind cigar abuse or the tapping out of one's pipe against the screen but now only shows the Teletubbies at two bells in every watch except Sundays.

Has ES published the dielectric properties of Black Mountain tincture yet? We are short of WD40.

Engine Serang · #**3284** 3rd July 2018, 14:19

Decca overlays are rarely flecked with sputum, phlegm and tobacco jus whilst our original charts contain more organic matter than a ham sandwich and enough DNA to confuse Scotland Yard.

And speaking of Scotland Yard what lassie on our crew has more fingerprints on her bum than there is in SY?

And speaking of WD 40, there's none because FJ and BB are spraying it into p paper bag and sniffing the di electrics until their hearts content. Hence my efforts to stop the Monte Christo's until the WD has evaporated.

Farmer John · #**3285** 3rd July 2018, 15:53

Don't worry about the charts, I copied the thin blue line of the "Cyclops'" charts ages ago, you just follow that.

_____________________________________________ can't get lost, can be applied even to an old newspaper. I've got miles of it.

McCloggie · #**3286** 3rd July 2018, 17:02

Can somebody please tell we what is going on here and where we are going?

Having woken up with a hangover I would like to know where I am!

While understanding the principles of Decca I am also aware of the danger of slipping chains depending on where we are.

I am of course happy to assist anyone - bridge or ER - but my cut-outs do need to know what is going on to be able to do their job.

By the way, Red's garden is looking good and I hope that with the inclusion of fresh herb, vegetables etc. our catering will reach new heights!.

As a non vegetarian though can I ask that the garden allows Peter Rabbit and his friends to be present? I have a very good French recipe for rabbit with prunes!

McC

Farmer John · #**3287** 3rd July 2018, 20:41

We've been keeping rabbits in the old flaglockers for quite some time. Tasty.

RobPage · #**3288** 3rd July 2018, 21:03

I presume that as they only eat lettuce they are vegetarian ones

Farmer John · #**3289** 3rd July 2018, 22:46

Preserve me from hoards of carnivorous rabbits, now you've raised it I shan't sleep tonight.

Varley · #**3290** 3rd July 2018, 23:27

Don't mistake rarebit for rabbit. If you cover a rabbit with cheese sauce it'll have scoffed it before you can put it in the oven.

billyboy · #**3291** 4th July 2018, 02:50

bit of Rabbit stew..Nice! Mother could do a nice Rabbit Pie too!.

Tmac1720 · #**3292** 4th July 2018, 08:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley

But how, pray, does one get there in the first place?

The injuneers keep the whirly thing at the back going round and round until we get where it is we is going to..........simples

Tmac1720 · #**3293** 4th July 2018, 08:56

Rabbit and a Bear were talking one day in the woods. "Tell me" says the Bear "does shit stick to your fur?".."no" said the Rabbit at which point the Bear grabbed the Rabbit and wiped his arse with it.

Sorry I digress, there is no WD 40 on board apart from the injuneers personal supply, you lot can make do with Vaseline and like it so there

Engine Serang · #**3294** 4th July 2018, 09:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley

Don't mistake rarebit for rabbit..

I know, but which one is the Cardiff Virgin?

Engine Serang · #**3295** 4th July 2018, 09:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Rabbit and a Bear were talking one day in the woods. "Tell me" says the Bear "does shit stick to your fur?".."no" said the Rabbit at which point the Bear grabbed the Rabbit and wiped his arse with it.

We are now in the Marching Season and my Lodge, LOL 503 do not like words such as "Shit" and "Arse" being bandied about willy nilly. We are now an organisation with a long reach so don't think Cuba will give you any protection, Chief.

Engine Serang · #**3296** 4th July 2018, 09:30

Howday Dooday Folk it's Independence Day so lets all congregate on the Fake News Deck and share a brisket hoagie and a mint julep, Yee ha. Rednecks from the deck department specially welcome as are all friends and neighbours and North Korean crew.

Farmer John · #**3297** 4th July 2018, 09:43

ES, you bring certain elements of a modern hard world into our Dreamers' paradise, I am not sure we want this.

billyboy · #**3298** 4th July 2018, 10:54

By George you could be right FJ.
Now wheres my eraser?

YM-Mundrabilla · #**3299** 4th July 2018, 13:49

Erasers don't work on glass screens nor does whiteout. Not for me anyway.
At least you know the difference between a rubber and an eraser - my kids keep reminding me.

Tmac1720 · #**3300** 4th July 2018, 15:54

Very risky making love with an eraser,

rubber is much more effective and during the act itself I find the smell of burning rubber quite the aphrodisiac