virtual crazy gang, part II

[Dartskipper]

That's proper sailing.

[Farmer John]

We can do that. Next time out...

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

We can do that. Next time out...

Next time we're dry docked we'll get a drop keel installed in a box keel and then we can point to windward like that -- but we can still run down our Easting in the trades with our regular square rig.

[Engine Serang]

So me and Tmac are being made redundant?????????


You bastards, where will he get a job at his age.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

So me and Tmac are being made redundant?????????


You bastards, where will he get a job at his age.

Or you, with your tetchness? Tmac knows he always gets major jobs done when we are on the wind, or if not, socialises and enjoys himself. Well, he is always busy. GD wouldn't exist without our Injuneers.

[Engine Serang]

Ah Ha, Tmac and me were born before the wind. Where would BB,FJ,TA, the hereditary Lord Varley and McCloggs be if there is no one to run up the air-conditioning. Sweaty scrota and no cool beer.


On my ship tetchiness is next to godliness.

[billyboy]

Tom, This panel here controls our sails. This button extends our sails, this one unfirls then and with this rotating knob we can set the appropriate angles (trim)
Be nice to go out under sail to give the locals a treat and let Tmac have a bit of pesce and quiet below for a while.

(been off line for three days, Fibre optic cable got broke.)

[Engine Serang]

What bugger fixed Billyboys fibre optic cable?? Things were so quiet and peaceful these past few days, ah the dog days of August.


Regarding the sails does your buttons and rotating knobs work on electrickery?? Be careful because Tmac and his two ring tailed rats control the co-valent amperes, milliwatts and polyfarrads.

[Tom Alexander]

ES - much more of your bovine excrement and we will be forced to close down T mac's gravity feed to the injun room from the Black Bush header tank. When we explain that it is in protest of your protest, Tmac will undoubtedly take it out on the scurrilous dog who started all this with the mistaken notion that we need all his fancy energy bits. Us up top will always have a plan to maintain control.

v = u + at (when both u and a equal zero you are going to wait a hell or a long time before that Black Bush flows again !!)

In the meantime, us on the bridge will enjoy some of that just loaded Pusser's --

[Dartskipper]

I shall be out on the wing of the bridge testing my sunshades against this tropical daylight. When looking aloft to study the trim of the rig, it's essential to protect the Mk 1 optical observatory systems. I find it best to conduct the vertical survey of the rig and sails by adopting a horizontal attitude in a canvas repository slung between the bridge telegraph stand and the binoculars stand.

[Farmer John]

Dartskipper, I am alongside you. 2 canvas repositories, just a few more and it could be like something from Alien. Not that I have ever seen all of it (and I think there are more than one episode), most through the fingers.

If your luff flutters, we came make a concerted leap to do... something. Push the stick around or something. Fancy a cooling and intoxicating beverage?

Don't worry about ES, it sounds as though he has his own ship, with his own set of rules. Just push him off if he gets too close. Some kind of bargepole should do it.

[Varley]

Dear god, We have only just started being propelled by bed linen and already we are being asked to use canvas repositories. Can't we even have the shit plant on line? Pretty please? I told you Dr. Rudolph was the only prophet we could afford.

[Tom Alexander]

[QUOTE=Farmer John;17194]Dartskipper, I am alongside you. 2 canvas repositories, just a few more and it could be like something from Alien. Not that I have ever seen all of it [QUOTE]

FJ -- the next to last scene before Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) commits the Alien to deep space through the air lock after having stripped down to take a shower. . Wonderful on the big screen -- wouldn't want to watch this episode through my fingers.

[Tom Alexander]

Full English in the a.m. followed by departure under sail for Sint Maarten.

Showing the local sailing instructors how to sail away from the anchor. (And to show ES we really don't need his gadgets we will employ a full watch or cut-outs on the capstan bars. Just need a fiddler to play a rousing shanty to aid the operation. Back the fore upper tops'l 'til the spanker fills, brace the lower fore tops'l along with the upper together with the main course and away we go.

Splice the main brace for all crew.

[Varley]

Oh its not so bad then. We have a new bar. Should there be enough steam produced for the sauna is the spanker available for hire by the hour? The cut outs get soggy and the plastico's leer at one so.

I just can't get used to crapping through a canvas funnel - are you sure we are not offending MARPOL?

A broken brace of what? Is splicing an appropriate repair? (I could try a bit of MIG for you if you'd like)

[billyboy]

Brace of Rums all round please Steward!

Stand by Focsul crew. Raise her topsail and spanker...No not hers the sails man the sails!

[Engine Serang]

Fantasy I say, pure fantasy. No wavy dc for the air-con
ice maker
fridges
punka louvres
lift to take warm beer from the bond to the orlop deck
steering gear
autopilot
x, y and z band radar
echo thingy
ais, ecdis, vdr, vms, vd and scar
hydraulics to raise and trim the suite of sails
sewage system, ATO not permitted by MARPOL or in Varleys case SOLAS


and BB, TA, FJ, DS and the hereditary Varley in hammocks scratching their sweaty bits and pieces and contemplating their own uselessness.
I've decided to swim ashore and take my chances in Guantanamo.

[Farmer John]

Right, back to normal. I thought warm beer would send him over the side, but I don't think there be any beer in Guantanamo.

A pleasant sail using our proven systems. Cold beer, anyone? I've sent a plastico to unlock the heads, Tmac's Black bush is fully loaded, don't want any free surface effect in a tank as big as that. The Tiki bar is fully loaded with comestibles and booze at the right temperature, the breeze is fair for our course.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Varley

(I could try a bit of MIG for you if you'd like)

What the heck are the Russian air force doing here? SSR might get a bit upset with you flying one of those things over here!!

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

I've decided to swim ashore and take my chances in Guantanamo.

Long swim ES -- over a week since we've been anywhere near Gitmo -- and with all that warm beer you might find the US Coastguard arresting you for unauthorised sewage discharge as you pass Puerto Rico.

[Varley]

It's alright he's been picked up by the relief vessel although I think he must have been drinking seawater. The double delirium should be down to the usual single figures after a beer at the right temperature.

(An aircraft? Well, we haven't finished sticking the Mini back together yet but were ready to have a go. Nothing daunts us! However much it should).

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Long swim ES -- over a week since we've been anywhere near Gitmo --

Dear Nav Officer,
If its a week since GD2 has been near Cuba, you've been sailing/steaming around in circles.
2/E suggests you steer due East, keeping clear of Hispaniola and PR. FFS it can't be that difficult. Second suggestion: a week on Irn Bru would help.


sincerely


A Friend.

[Varley]

Phew, I can see why coast stations didn't like cross band working.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

cross band working.

I remember fighting that Trombonist, his left not only knocked you down, it made a funny noise too.

[billyboy]

are we in that Trimuda Biangle thingy then ES?