virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I can handle myself. In fact, when younger, I did it quite often.

I did as well -- probably why I now need reading glasses.

[Varley]

Will someone fetch the chief and ES here. I owe them both a good belting with my white stick.

[Engine Serang]

Lord Varley issues an instruction:-


Some of you underlings fetch me a troublesome engineer officer.


Sounds a bit like the Headmaster sending for a truant. Whacko.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

Will someone fetch the chief and ES here. I owe them both a good belting with my white stick.

Bejasus is it a fight yer wantin'.... here ES hold my coat while I issue appropriate chastisement to this young whippersnapper (see what I did there?...radio... whip aerial...thought not )

[Engine Serang]

Hup you boyo, that's it Tmac give him 6 of the best.


The hereditary V will think twice before he sends for the black gang.


King Dick Flogging Spanner one : Avometer Nil


And if the rope draggers want a bit of a stramash they can send Mr mcCloggie to "Fetch" us.

[Farmer John]

Here we are,San Blas, the prime place to relax and laze, we have our own accom and grub, and all the talk of is of a stramash.

That kind of food is unacceptable unless we have to.

Steady away, more ship visitors, more fun. My lads will look after the food and booze, let's have some harmony.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Here we are,San Blas, the prime place to relax and laze, we have our own accom and grub, and all the talk of is of a stramash.

That kind of food is unacceptable unless we have to.

Steady away, more ship visitors, more fun. My lads will look after the food and booze, let's have some harmony.

If you need to use hairspray, fair enough FJ. Personally, possessing fewer follicles than previously, I find the use of gentlemen's (or the good lady's) hair fixative rather superfluous.

[Varley]

Who will rid me of these troublesome plumbers?

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

If you need to use hairspray, fair enough FJ. Personally, possessing fewer follicles than previously, I find the use of gentlemen's (or the good lady's) hair fixative rather superfluous.

I find some nice Mansion polish the most effective.

[billyboy]

I gave up worrying about my hair when the Barber started charging me a search fee.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

My lads will look after the food and booze, let's have some harmony.

Here we go lads -- (Talk about 100,000 Welshmen singing Cwm Rhondda at Twickenham)
Here's real harmony.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofp6rdAgRrY

[Engine Serang]

Is JPR Williams still captain?

[Varley]

I am reminded of Flanders and Swann's deflationary observation on the Welsh.

They sing far to often, far too loud and
…....……………………………………………………...flat.

[Engine Serang]

Billyboy, me oul china, could you book a double act for Saturday Evenings entertainment, and it will enchant the local bigwigs. How's about Flanders and Swann along with Hinge and Bracket, believe me they will go down a storm. A word of warning, you must try to keep Dame Hilda's hands off the brandy and Varley's hands off Dame Hilda.
Tmac is very musical.

[Varley]

I am more worried about where Dame Hilda's hands are going to wander between cognacs. I don't want Dr Evadne's hands on my bracket either!

[Tom Alexander]

Midnight party on the pool deck. Come as you are. If any one asks what time, don't fall in the pool --- you are probably too inebriated to swim.

[Engine Serang]

Swimming is for wimps, I'm skinny-dipping.
Steward may I please have a bottle of McArdles.

[Varley]

If you want to show off your McArdles to the ship's company please use Facebook and not the swimming pool.

[Engine Serang]

The ship's company can't handle McArdles, it's too refined a taste for Jolly Jack. I'll invite those I know will appreciate it to a corner of the pool deck. TA can entertain his hoi polloi to Tennants along the rest of the pool. I'm still unsure which group you belong to, but I've a fair idea.

[billyboy]

Midnight parties are great. Heres me in nowt but me silk Boxer shorts. Large one for me please steward!

[Varley]

You can suspect me of anything except a liking for lager. I prefer my proper ale to be lower gravity than that. Googling McArdles suggest it might also bring on some mighty weird medical symptoms. McGargles? You'd have thought that name would have been 'reserved' to prevent imitation!

Whichever I do NOT expect mine to be dippily skinned or fondled in a corner. I'm far too shy, not to mention twixt-buttock retentive. And someone should remind Sir W that the phrase 'excused shorts' extends to the underwear, silken or roughcast-shoddy - that thing's knocking off two bridge buns and a sausage roll every time the canapes are passed round.

[Tmac1720]

Ooooohhh very posh, silk boxers eh?.. not great for preventing skid marks and they creep up the crack of your arse

I'll just make do with my old "Budgie smugglers" the oil and grease stains hid the skid marks

[Tmac1720]

McArdles !!!! get a real drink inside you man, try one of these = Morton's Red Heart, Double Diamond, Guinness XX or best of all a "Wee Willie and a White Horse"

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

a "Wee Willie and a White Horse"

The judge said I wasn't to do that again.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Ooooohhh very posh, silk boxers eh?.. not great for preventing skid marks and they creep up the crack of your arse

I'll just make do with my old "Budgie smugglers" the oil and grease stains hid the skid marks

You're a vain bugger. The underwear doesn't 'bind' if your boiler suit's big enough. I suppose you have platform engine room boots too.