virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tom Alexander]

A whole bunch of new pics of the Port of Valparaiso in the gallery -- depressing -- not a sleazy bar in sight.

Ah! a taxi cab here -- sure the driver will catch on as to what we are looking for?

[Engine Serang]

Does the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church hold much sway here in Valspar Hariso?
Meeting in Smokeroom in 1 hour to find out who brought us here. He or She will be de-bagged.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Not many 'she s' left to blame.

Who is looking after the animals, our injections and the garden these days?

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Not many 'she s' left to blame.

Who is looking after the animals, our injections and the garden these days?

I think being called Farmer John lands me in this, the injections, just practice going "Baa" and crawling round on your hands and knees. This will come naturally to many of you. You are all due a booster for 8in1 clostridial diseases next week, best thing is to run you through the race. I'll do the feet at the same time, and better check the teeth too, some may be losing condition due to broken mouths.

I have always looked after the animals and garden when needed, where do you think all the food comes from?

[Varley]

You'd do anything to get near a pretty sheep.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

You'd do anything to get near a pretty sheep.

or even just one that will listen...

[Varley]

You only mentioned checking their feet and teeth. You didn't mention their ears or their political posture.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

You only mentioned checking their feet and teeth. You didn't mention their ears or their political posture.

Varley, you are in the race with the rest. The ears and political posture have no commercial value and do not need checking.

[Varley]

Oh, you just want one that will listen. Not one that will 'engage'.

[Tom Alexander]

All aboard, who's capable -- sailing tomorrow morning at 14:00 hours for Avarua on Rarotonga in the Cook Islands. Sobriety test at 13:45 -- all those who are too sober to stand their watch will then have 15 minutes to correct their condition.

[Engine Serang]

In my humble opinion [superior opinion], the main reason to go to the Cook Islands is to get a COOK. Mr McCloggie has me poisoned with his Stottie Cakes and Rum & Raisin Porridge . I demand a cook who has, in his repertoire, ox-tail 3 ways, blind scouse and sherry trifle [dry sherry].
Sitting ones watch is a new one on me, but I'm young enough to learn.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Sitting ones watch is a new one on me, but I'm young enough to learn.

Your youth is in doubt, as are other aspects of your ability. The feeding aboard the GD is legendary, we also eat loin of the beast.

[Varley]

Youth is overrated.

You are old said his son and your teeth are not fit for anything tougher than suet.
Yet you finish the bird with the bones and the beak, pray how do you manage to do it?
When young, said his father, I took to the law and argued each case with my wife.
The muscular strength that that gave to my jaw has lasted the rest of my life.

(Caroll/Dodgson)

(I do hope eating loin of the beast is not a euphemism. I prefer the uses of orifices and appendages of the human frame to be determined according to evolution rather than sexual revolution. If the good Lord had intended us to smoke beef he would never have given us salmon).

[Farmer John]

Thinking about it, the Oxtail is one leg end, cow's foot the other. Eating the loin of the beast is not a euphemism, it's a very tasty part of the animal.

[Varley]

Now you are boasting. Your Oxtail is legend? Well that should keep E-S satisfied.

[Engine Serang]

Ox tail must originate on a cow. This is under EU Law. After Brexit, or after 10 O' Clock this evening, we can make our own laws and ox-tails can be from dogs, cats, wildebeests and any 4 legged creature nominated by the saintly Mr Attenborough. Atte mc Attface.
TA and FJ still believe a cat o nine tails would make a big pot or indeed a cauldron of Ox Tail Jardinaire.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

TA and FJ still believe a cat o nine tails would make a big pot or indeed a cauldron of Ox Tail Jardinaire.

Oh boy, what a good idea. Tom, where are all the old Cat o' nine-tails from the last mutiny? Some of them would have made a good Black Pudding.

Good job we are going to the Cook Islands.

[Tmac1720]

Gentlemen, it is with great sadness I have to report that my Mother crossed the bar at 23:20 last evening. I will be ashore for a short while but I know the injun room is in safe hands of Sir William, Engine Serang, Squeek and Eric.

Would there be any objection if we darken ship for an hour at 23:20 tomorrow?

[Varley]

Very sorry for the outcome Tmac, I took a glass of beer beside the bed whilst waiting for the undertaker to take'er. I was relieved, both selfishly for myself but also for her too. I trust your experience was not markedly worse. Mine was about five months, a short sentence as such things go, six and she would have had the poison mushrooms. Duty has its stress lines.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Sorry to hear your news Tmac.
I hope that neither your mother, yourself or your family suffered unduly.
In my own case it was a blessed release for Mum.
Regards
Geoff (YM)

(We will try not to wreck too much delicately balanced stuff whilst you are ashore).

[billyboy]

Deepest Condolences Tmac.
Steward! break out my white boiler suits please and bring me one to the control room, Oh...and some early lunch for Eric and squeak as they have work to do later.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Gentlemen, it is with great sadness I have to report that my Mother crossed the bar at 23:20 last evening. I will be ashore for a short while but I know the injun room is in safe hands of Sir William, Engine Serang, Squeek and Eric.

Would there be any objection if we darken ship for an hour at 23:20 tomorrow?

We will darken ship at your request and hold a candlelit vigil around a furkin of Black Bush in your Mum's honour, and also in empathy for the necessary application of your precious time being involved in the winding up of affairs.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Oh boy, what a good idea. Tom, where are all the old Cat o' nine-tails from the last mutiny? Some of them would have made a good Black Pudding.

Good job we are going to the Cook Islands.

Should be lots of caked on dried blood on those "cats" to steep them for awhile -- should make a tasty black puddin' indeed.

Do the Cook Islanders still eat people??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjAHw2DEBgw

[Engine Serang]

Tom I hope the heartfelt words on this site gives you some solace at this time. We will darken ship and Wake your mother in the traditional manner. May she rest in peace.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

I demand a cook who has, in his repertoire, ox-tail 3 ways, blind scouse and sherry trifle [dry sherry]. Paarl South African, I hope?
Sitting ones watch is a new one on me, but I'm young enough to learn.

Sitting a watch is something that should be tried perhaps --- rather than lying on a couch down in the nice warm "innards", probably reading some tawdry magazine?

Us up on deck are standing our watch, making sure that you lot down there aren't inundated by sudden gushes of seawater when we bounce over coral reefs.