virtual crazy gang, part II

Tom Alexander · #**4576** 26th February 2019, 07:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

I detected a touch of liverish bad temper but upon mature reflection I think it may be a mild hyperglycaemia. May I suggest a breakfast of a lightly boiled egg rather than the obscene mountain of waffles and maple syrup you are so fond off. Colonial Fare is rarely kind to sensitive tummies.

Colonial tummies are not sensitive to waffles and maple syrup when they are accompanied by bacon, eggs (sunny side up) accompanied with sausages, mushrooms, braised tomatoes, and pan fries. That reminds me, seeing as we are in Aus, I must purchase a couple of cases of Vegemite to go with my cold dripping toast.

billyboy · #**4577** 26th February 2019, 08:11

I love my ship and my crew. She handles well, looks well and goes exceedingly well thanks to the secret equipment invented and installed by Tmac.
Nah this is where I will stay and finish out my days ES. This ship holds fond memories of some fine seamen who have crossed the bar.
Memories of some fine adventures too.
Which reminds me....High time the agent found us another lucrative job. we are rigged for Passengers, towage and salvage as well as cargo. Have to get Mr Varley to call him up and see whats going.

YM-Mundrabilla · #**4578** 26th February 2019, 09:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Colonial tummies are not sensitive to waffles and maple syrup when they are accompanied by bacon, eggs (sunny side up) accompanied with sausages, mushrooms, braised tomatoes, and pan fries. That reminds me, seeing as we are in Aus, I must purchase a couple of cases of Vegemite to go with my cold dripping toast.

Is Vegemite still available in gallon tins? A couple of cases of one gallon tins would be appropriate.
Who knows when we will return to Oz?

Varley · #**4579** 26th February 2019, 12:21

The moonphone was invented so that you could get hold of the office and/or agent and/or wife without me having to get out of my pit to do the difficults with Portishead. I have put a tin by the extension in your cabin, just put-in what you owe (especially calling the wife!! - the office has your number). Gold Francs only, please. Exact change.

(And don't call me until two bells in the Ulster fry - or big breakfast as it has evolved here).

Will you not put anything in the dry store ending with -mite! Especially by the 45 gallon drumful. We'll have every treasonous Hibernian from here to E-S competing at Nelsonian column demolition. Not to mention that anything black and meaty seems to put more than a spring in Tmac's step.

billyboy · #**4580** 26th February 2019, 23:27

tmac says he's safe at the moment running on empty Sac. some injuneering term i expect.

Engine Serang · #**4581** 26th February 2019, 23:40

Chaps and Shipmates may I implore you to stop referring to me as; E-S. Many of the crew believe my name is Louis Ralph Engine-Serang whereas it is only Louis Ralph Engine Serang. The hyphen has confused them and they think I am a member of the Aristocracy or minor Royalty. God bless their wit, did they think Prince Philip/Charles/Andrew spent their time in the RN wearing a grubby boiler suit? I rather think not.

Shipmates,
I remain your obedient servant,

ES

Tom Alexander · #**4582** 27th February 2019, 07:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Chaps and Shipmates may I implore you to stop referring to me as; E-S. Many of the crew believe my name is Louis Ralph Engine-Serang whereas it is only Louis Ralph Engine Serang. The hyphen has confused them and they think I am a member of the Aristocracy or minor Royalty. God bless their wit, did they think Prince Philip/Charles/Andrew spent their time in the RN wearing a grubby boiler suit? I rather think not.

Shipmates,
I remain your obedient servant,

ES

It is amazing how things tend to morph -- E-S (Engine-Serang) does have that sense of Royalty with the hyphenated name, ES (EngineSerang) is not technically correct from a grammatical point of view, so, at his request, would we refer to him as E S (Engine Serang) Of course, when we get to know him better, we can be on a first name basis and just call him Engine.

Tom Alexander · #**4583** 27th February 2019, 07:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

I love my ship and my crew. She handles well, looks well and goes exceedingly well thanks to the secret equipment invented and installed by Tmac.

Regarding the secret equipment, our sniffometer has picked up a sonar operators phart at a depth indicating a submarine at 600 fathoms. Analysis has deduced he had a bacon and egg sarnie 2 hours ago. British craft still searching for Malaysian Air Flight 370. (I still believe in the wrong place).

Advanced GPS system has picked up a bus load of local nurses heading our way -- probably in response to my invitation to a dance on the pool deck this evening.

Farmer John -- the usual colour lights, bar arrangements and the recorded hologram of the Palm Court Orchestra. Nothing common about us lot.

billyboy · #**4584** 27th February 2019, 09:47

Oooooh, I love a good Nursie dance. Nice one Tom!
Hmmmmmm, Steward! Lay out a white shirt, Grey flannels and my blazer with the nice badge oh, and a nice maroon cravat please. Need to look good for our guests.

Varley · #**4585** 27th February 2019, 11:47

I have never referred to E-S as ; I would not use his given name unless we had first met and been introduced. Minor royalty. Minor? You don't kid me Sir ; Perhaps not of giving up licence age but your inner chicken hasn't seen a spring for many a long year.

As for Tmac running on empty Sac. Dry Sack more like!

Tom Alexander · #**4586** 28th February 2019, 07:52

There you are, girls. Welcome aboard the Golden Dreamer II. A fine looking ship with much more than the comforts of home. (Just as a note of caution, if Tmac, our chief engineer invites you into his funnel suite do not kick the gold cuspidor beside his velvet recliner - he won the artifact in a bar room bet many years ago -- something to do with size and rigidity, I believe -- it's his pride and joy.) Nostalgia is everything.

Let me show you all up to the pool deck where you can get the refreshment of your choice. What's that, Matron? --- yes we do have a fine assortment of Havana cigars help yourself from the humidor on the bar.

billyboy · #**4587** 28th February 2019, 10:39

welcome indeed ladies. Please take a seat and ask the steward for whatever you fancy. they will be bringing up snacks later. and after 8 when all the dock workers have gone home there home we be able to swin in the pool.
No costumes no problem Matron. after 8 we will be secluded enough to swim skinny dipping stayl.
Up there?...Ah thats the bridge where the ship is controled from when we are under way. If you ask Tom I am sure he will be happy to show you around.
Ah, you must be a young male nurse student welcome to you as well.

Engine Serang · #**4588** 28th February 2019, 10:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Ah, you must be a young male nurse student welcome to you as well.

Welcome indeed.
As welcome as a pork chop at a Jewish wedding.

Show him the gangway before Tmac rogers him with the rough end of a pineapple.

billyboy · #**4589** 28th February 2019, 11:51

Our plastic stewards seem to be happy to see him.
He is actually doing me a favour right now...he is taking a bottle of vintage port and a handfull of Havana cigars down to Mr Varley for me.

Farmer John · #**4590** 28th February 2019, 14:48

Steward, please lay out my crimson velvet jacket with the mystic runes on it, my "PJ Proby" purple trousers and my silver thigh boots with my "Isadora" scarf, the rest will be selected at random.

The bar, the lights, the orchestra (no holograms for us, the press gang have been round the worlds clubs for this), we are ready to roll.

Tmac1720 · #**4591** 28th February 2019, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Show him the gangway before Tmac rogers him with the rough end of a pineapple.

Depending on the existing diameter of the hole I prefer to use a hole saw or a boring bar finishing with a good tight reamer to ensure smooth sides and a snug fit. I find Pineapples do not have the required durability and tend to slip out of your hands when the juice starts to flow.

The lubrication quality of Pineapple juice leaves much to be desired and is definitely of a low friction viscosity.

Tmac1720 · #**4592** 28th February 2019, 16:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

(Just as a note of caution, if Tmac, our chief engineer invites you into his funnel suite do not kick the gold cuspidor beside his velvet recliner - he won the artifact in a bar room bet many years ago -- something to do with size and rigidity, I believe -- it's his pride and joy.) Nostalgia is everything.

Do I detect a note of envy?

Varley · #**4593** 28th February 2019, 18:58

Three choices? Decisions, decisions.

Tom Alexander · #**4594** 1st March 2019, 08:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley

Three choices? Decisions, decisions.

No! We checked the names and there are three Joyces.

Engine Serang · #**4595** 1st March 2019, 09:16

3 Joyces?
Lord Ye Haw
Lord He Haw
and
Lord Haw Haw

Germany Calling, Germany Calling.

Set a course for Hamburg and we will sail there with All Dispatch.

Varley · #**4596** 1st March 2019, 09:59

I thought old Ali Patch had retired.

I had a chat with that young fella you sent down with the swag (much appreciated). I am not sure you should have let him talk to Tmac. The boy doesn't seem to know whether the man's a fitter or a turner.

Tom Alexander · #**4597** 2nd March 2019, 06:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley

I thought old Ali Patch had retired.

I had a chat with that young fella you sent down with the swag (much appreciated). I am not sure you should have let him talk to Tmac. The boy doesn't seem to know whether the man's a fitter or a turner.

Are we under the impression that the lad doesn't know whether he's punched, screwed, or bored??

Varley · #**4598** 2nd March 2019, 11:04

We'll I did try to start that euphemism but it kept tripping out.

Engine Serang · #**4599** 2nd March 2019, 13:50

Have you got O-Level English? I very much doubt it.
If a euphemism is preceded by the subjunctive it will stay on the board.

Varley · #**4600** 2nd March 2019, 14:35

One of the few! I take it that is one of those new fangled soft vowel starters. Anyway I think I have found the problem. I was using a Latin primer and the damned contraption's Greek.

(I wish you would look after your pets. That damned thesaurus has been clawing my door curtain and frightening the terriblytactiles that the plasticos leave the scraps for).