virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

Definitely the sub-metre brassica. If one needs to bugger them about than crispy bacon and chestnuts serve well. For a dare, or so we thought, we did competitive sprout pickling last winter (mine did not win) we had thought it the most unlikely new comestible to the table. Not a bit of it. There are dozens of recipes. One of the competitors has had his accepted for novel bar snacks (but then the publican also got into hot water over advertising hedgehog en croute).

[Farmer John]

Damn you metal manglers, I can't follow all this technical talk.

Red-17, would you care for a walk through the gardens, everyone else is being gross.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Red-17, would you care for a walk through the gardens, everyone else is being gross.

I am not 144 --- I'm only 80 (somewhere about 21 in my head -- if only the rest would follow !!)

[Tom Alexander]

Picking up the pilot for Puerto Montt -- berthing alongside the cruise ship dock. Never been here before so the natives should not be unduly hostile.

[Engine Serang]

Varley tells me that after 10 pints the natives are always hostile towards you.
And I believe him.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Varley tells me that after 10 pints the natives are always hostile towards you.
And I believe him.

Depends on whether I had them buy, or not.

[Tom Alexander]

Quietly alongside -- Exploratory bar crawl starts in 30 mins. Perhaps would be cost effective to hire a local guide?? Are, here's a gentleman who seems well acquainted with the local hostelries.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Quietly alongside -- Exploratory bar crawl starts in 30 mins. Perhaps would be cost effective to hire a local guide?? Are, here's a gentleman who seems well acquainted with the local hostelries.

Yes Tom, let's get him out of the gutter and cleaned up a bit. Check him for a wallet. He seems to be pointing at that place with "Ruby's Rough house" over the door, the one where a piano just came flying out the window, complete with stool and pianist. I think we should get a drink there. Don't take his boots... Oh, they are quite good and they fit.

The night beckons...

[Engine Serang]

"Ruby's Rough house" must be near "Ruby's Chop Suey" on Hessle Road. Your navigation is suspect or V is still buggering about with his infernal Lightening Machine up in the rigging. Tmac calls it the Van Der Varley Generator, droll or what?

[Varley]

A lightening machine! My doctor would love me to use one of those (not sure if an infernal one would not be a rather painful way of slimming). Tmac should be able to tell the difference between Van der Stephie generator and a Wimshurst machine by now. One has balls and the other not and neither are safe to bugger, so I am informed. Any fizzing in the rigging is not down to me.

[Tmac1720]

Right you scurvy lot have really extracted the urine and I'm not happy.... further if any of you jokers ask "which dwarf are you then?" be prepared to eat your meals through a straw.

Why am I so pissed off?... someone thought it funny to open the sluice valves into the injun room.... yeah feckin' hilarious: Up to my oxters in water and not helped by Squeek and Eric performing synchronised swimming past the control platform.

When I get the compartment pumped out and those two miscreant rodents dried out...have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur? I shall come among you and point out the error of your ways...........

[Varley]

I should be careful what you do , even in the privacy of your sleeping cabin, dwarf tossing attract an awful lot of politically correct brick throwing, chaining of wimin to railings etc.

Are you saying anything below the middles is going to do mega-badly until you mop it up (see what I did there? Small Leckie-joke as opposed to small-Leckie joke which it can't be).

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur?

Well of course I have, it takes me back to my old grannies coat (not actually her pelt, but, you know?). A walk round Harrogate in the rain and then, that smell all the way home on the bus.

[Farmer John]

Harrogate in the rain, the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Why did I ever go to sea?

[billyboy]

reminds me of a packed bus on a rainy day day in Brighton Farmer John. a smell that sticks with you forever.

[Pilot24]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Right you scurvy lot have really extracted the urine and I'm not happy.... further if any of you jokers ask "which dwarf are you then?" be prepared to eat your meals through a straw.

Why am I so pissed off?... someone thought it funny to open the sluice valves into the injun room.... yeah feckin' hilarious: Up to my oxters in water and not helped by Squeek and Eric performing synchronised swimming past the control platform.

When I get the compartment pumped out and those two miscreant rodents dried out...have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur? I shall come among you and point out the error of your ways...........

Oh! Henry Halls,thought it was you and the mate who sent the two of us poor cadets down to clear the sump out and then all I heard was silence from my mate........ "you OK?" " Aye, no bother just having a warm up Jimmy Riddle!" Turns out it warms the boiler suit in a cold enviroment!!! (Truth or not? Up to the reader.)

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Pilot24

Oh! Aye, no bother just having a warm up Jimmy Riddle!" Turns out it warms the boiler suit in a cold environment!!! (Truth or not? Up to the reader.)

Used to work wonders in the swim suit in the outdoor pool !! (Message to self -- swim to the other side of the pool ASAP)

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

reminds me of a packed bus on a rainy day day in Brighton Farmer John. a smell that sticks with you forever.

The last tram down the Paisley Road from Cardonald to the Princess Docks didn't smell too swift even when it was empty.

[Tom Alexander]

Make the most of your last night on the town lads -- leaving tomorrow after full English in the PAX lounge. Contracted to be in Buenos Aires PDQ.

[billyboy]

Aye aye Tom. Lets hope nothing else has been contracted ashore.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Aye aye Tom. Lets hope nothing else has been contracted ashore.

Measles ??????

[Tom Alexander]

Here we go everyone -- bacon, sausages, ham, eggs, pan fries, sauteed mushrooms, braised tomatoes, black puddin', also kippers, smoked haddock in milk, chip butties, beetroot sarnies and sardines on toast. Then we're on our way.

[Varley]

I'll settle for the proper breakfast (the marriage of which to black pudding I consider an unnatural one). By tomorrow I expect the smoked haddock (a middle cut of a mature fish) to be available poached in chilli-milk (one chilli per pint overnight). Kedgeree on the side of a Sunday morning?

(I am sure Red will know but I suggest you can tell the measles easily. If the chest and arms are covered with red blotches that may be measles. Perhaps, alternatively, Rubella. If it's your bollocks that's blotchy, likely it's the clap).

[billyboy]

I just been to the heads. Still peeing in a single jet so all clear for now.

[Engine Serang]

If the chest and arms are covered with red blotches that may be measles. Perhaps, alternatively, Rubella. If it's your bollocks that's blotchy, likely it's the clap.

You'd pay Euro 65 in Dublin for a diagnosis such as that. This website is saving me a fortune.