virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

we got FWD FJ. (four whirly drive)

[Engine Serang]

The only weight carried aboard this fine vessel is around the Navigators midriff. We in the whirly-whirly department earn our crust by the sweat of our brow and are as thin and fit as a butchers greyhound.

As T says, Billy Bunter never pulled a nurse.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Lord Varley?

What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs telephone). Shouldn't you be polishing something?

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs telephone). Shouldn't you be polishing something?

All injuneers knobs are highly polished at ALL times and in fully prime operational condition.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Lord Varley?

I think the word you may have been intending was varlet

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

I think the word you may have been intending was varlet

I prefer the first handle however this is the one actually attached. So:

Have at you! - damned denizens of the dark and polishers of pig iron.

(See you in the forward cocktail lounge when you knock off?)

[Engine Serang]

It's not often you buy, so we will accept your kind invitation.
We really are as thin and fit as a butchers dog so Tab-Nabs won't be sufficient. T is very fond of a fork-supper, beef curry or chicken a la king generally pleases. The carpet can be a bit of a disaster area in the morning but the Piss-Pot-Jerkers always have it clean and sweet smelling for Smoko.

I feel a bit of a thirst coming on.

[Varley]

I'll have you know Pa taught me always to stand my round (even when it was from the pocket money he supplied). If you have not caught me in the chair then it was probably because you were stuffing your faces. Fork supper? You'll need a better excuse than dinner medals to avoid eating in the saloon, in rig of the day, properly laundered.

[Tmac1720]

Can I have the Ulster Fry instead?

[Varley]

What you eat is between and the chief plastico's neatly tryped menu de jour. How you eat it is down to Sir W and your fellow orifices. Gum boots and birthday suits are strictly for the OSSP (Olympic sized sudgee pail) NOT for the saloon or smokeroom.

(You don't think the arseh...… Port state control will fine us for having a smokeroom do you. Prepare to dock their case and cartons).

[Engine Serang]

Don't start me on Port State Control. I could write a book, and probably will.

[billyboy]

Have a word with Mr Varley. He likes Port and likes to control the state of it.

[Varley]

Well, continuously monitor its state anyway.

[Farmer John]

Careful sampling and comparison must be done.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Can I have the Ulster Fry instead?

I sympathise with you T, but NO you can't.

A more unedifying spectacle than a McCooey trying to manage Guinness, fried egg, black pudding and fried soda at a Cock&Arse would be hard to imagine. FJ and V would be mortified, V tries to maintain Denholms standards in the smokeroom. Red Sea Rig and all that but, alas he just don't have the savvy fair to carry it off. Sad really but living in a social backwater doesn't help. IOM twinned with the Bayou's off Louisiana in that respect, but yet to mess with cousins.

[Varley]

I have the savory flare alright. I just don't have the socks.

[Engine Serang]

Tmac is sitting behind the STP with a furrow of concentration on his brow and in his lap my copy of Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette & Modern Manners. He believes Old Manners have been superseded by mobile phones and loose morals. Red 17 thinks that deep down there's a touch of the Kirk about him. It's quite deep.

[Tmac1720]

Who the feck is this Kirk matelot?... and what is he doing in my injun room?.. I am concentrating on this book ES trying to work out who would buy a book with no pictures of nubile ladies in it.

It's all well and good this manners malarkey, I usually find a swift kick in the nuts does just as well to get your point across.

[Farmer John]

Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.

Just eased the course a little further Westwards, we are doing well.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.

The last person to attempt such an act had to undergo surgery to extract my flogging spanner from his arras. Poor lad spent weeks in a fruitless search for his scrotum which is currently nailed to the pump room bulkhead.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

fruitless search for his scrotum which is currently nailed to the pump room bulkhead.

Is this where you get your uncannily accurate weather forecasts from? Degree of wrinkling and so on would work I imagine.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

It's all well and good this manners malarkey, I usually find a swift kick in the nuts does just as well to get your point across.

It does indeed but the Waiter generally drops the tray of drink, not a Win-Win situation.

Far better to drink the drink then later on, with your uniform gloves, slap him across the cheeks. Not them ones, you tit. Such behaviour makes him feel a total asre and he then takes your point on board.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.

Just eased the course a little further Westwards, we are doing well.

Course change to ensure that we don't fall off the edge (of the chart, of course) or is it to lengthen our voyage with the nuns some of whose habits are actually quite delightful.

[Engine Serang]

YM you disappoint me with your smutty comments. Wash your mouth out with soap and water.

[Varley]

Plumbers should know of that whereof they post (or have at least a briefs acquaintance bar that left by the Maytag).