Go Back   Shipping History > Shipping Discussion > Mess Deck

virtual crazy gang, part II

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #5251  
Old 10th July 2019, 10:10
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Might the Algebra suggest that the imported rum suffers a lack of similarity in volume or Proof to that of the hooch?

(The introduction of the Aldi constant might also tell us something of the import method. Here, 6 bottles or more of fizz is 'delivery included' - no shortages have as yet been detected in volume or Proof, after several academic exercises in the gathering of the required data).

Perhaps Aldi would do bunkers?
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5252  
Old 10th July 2019, 11:20
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
The Pinot Noir has a Cetane Value of 48. The main engine can run on it but the Chief can't. Bunker 600 tonnes and get a free Ottoman to keep your dirty boiler suits, or dungareens. We don't go a bomb on fizz, it gasses up the fuel pumps something terrible and causes Tmac to run around the top plates like a half-wit. Puts one off ones breakfast.
Reply With Quote
  #5253  
Old 10th July 2019, 14:28
Tmac1720's Avatar
Tmac1720 Northern Ireland Tmac1720 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Newtownabbey
Posts: 1,267
Images: 15
[QUOTE=Engine Serang;23908]4 cases of white rum (WR) = 3 goats (3G)

3 cases of local rum (LR) = 3 goats (3G)


By a mathematicchal process known as calcullas or trigonometry we can prove;

4 WR = 3 LR

Unless you shop in Aldi.

And on that bombshell i'll head off to meet Capt Morgan.

Obviously an Injuneer wot understand liquefaction or how many pints you can get to the gallon
We don't have Aldi in Norn Iron would Lidl do instead
__________________
Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
Reply With Quote
  #5254  
Old 10th July 2019, 14:34
Tmac1720's Avatar
Tmac1720 Northern Ireland Tmac1720 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Newtownabbey
Posts: 1,267
Images: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
. We don't go a bomb on fizz, it gasses up the fuel pumps something terrible and causes Tmac to run around the top plates like a half-wit. Puts one off ones breakfast.
I note your vocabulary is improving since I bought you that book on "How 'til spake Ulster" your vernacular is beyond recognition as previously you referred to me as F**k-wit, outwith my hearing of course

Speaking of breakfast one still dispairs at your habit of putting Guinness on your cornflakes
__________________
Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
Reply With Quote
  #5255  
Old 10th July 2019, 15:07
Farmer John's Avatar
Farmer John Farmer John is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,506
I think it is important to consider that rum obtained from a numerically named two dimensional cutout from a ship with no real history, just back from a trip to Somewhere Clandestine may not be equivalent to rum obtained from a purveyor and purchaser of goats and other animals (for personal use only, not guaranteed of Comestible Quality).

I know that Cutouts No4's rum was good, I had just bottled it myself after relieving it's alchoholic head ache with a well earned drink of water. The rum he obtained by trade and sold to me for 3 bars of soap and two packs of cards has been used to remove varnish from the Teak fitments round the main deck. It came in a large carboy labelled "Ronsons".

Mathematics is not always as easy as it seems.
__________________
Buvez toujours, mourrez jamais.
Rabelais
Reply With Quote
  #5256  
Old 10th July 2019, 15:56
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Are you sure that was not Glen Ronsons or MacRonsonsmorange. I cannot imagine what anyone would do else with that Scottish stuff than remove varnish. It is certainly no good for 'Irish' coffee or for hosing down goats.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5257  
Old 10th July 2019, 16:49
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmer John View Post

Mathematics is not always as easy as it seems.
Long division can be a bit of a showstopper and the decimal point is little help to the beginner. Once one has mastered Newtons 4 laws of motion the beauty of sums falls into place and getting change from a ten shilling note no longer holds a chap in dread of miscalculation.

Isn't a bit of edumacation a grand thing.
Reply With Quote
  #5258  
Old 10th July 2019, 17:12
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
F o u r ?
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5259  
Old 10th July 2019, 17:17
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Newton's fourth law?

Every post that contains support for positive (remoaning poor) Brexit will be followed by one defending negative (remoaning rich) Brexit.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5260  
Old 11th July 2019, 07:30
Tom Alexander's Avatar
Tom Alexander Canada Tom Alexander is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Nanaimo, B.C., Canada
Posts: 1,205
Images: 1
Possible hurricane forming in the Gulf of Mexico. Should we perhaps take a lazy cruise over to the Canaries while we cogitate on our next venture? Oh! Wait a minute -- chap by the name of Rasputin, chum of the "Donald" wants passage in complete secrecy to St. Petersburg. Has a suitcase full of pieces of eight with which to pay his passage. Will be dressed as a spy so no one will notice him. Russians always did have a bit of flare for the dramatic ??
Reply With Quote
  #5261  
Old 11th July 2019, 08:01
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Varley View Post
Newton's fourth law?

.
Newtons 4th Law: No matter how much you shake your willie the last drops always run down your leg.
As you approach the pension the 4th Law becomes the dominant law in your life.
Reply With Quote
  #5262  
Old 11th July 2019, 09:46
YM-Mundrabilla's Avatar
YM-Mundrabilla Australia YM-Mundrabilla is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Mundrabilla (haha), Melbourne really but I'd rather be in Narvik
Posts: 841
Images: 1774
If Rasputin was a real spy his name would be Schmidt.
Are we sure that he is not CIA or FBI?
Reply With Quote
  #5263  
Old 11th July 2019, 11:10
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
Newtons 4th Law: No matter how much you shake your willie the last drops always run down your leg.
As you approach the pension the 4th Law becomes the dominant law in your life.
No wonder you have a problem. That is one of Avogadro's (and it last beyond pension day I can assure you!).
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5264  
Old 11th July 2019, 11:13
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Not a Cambridge spy I hope. There won't be a plastico fit to work breakfasts.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 11th July 2019 at 16:59.
Reply With Quote
  #5265  
Old 11th July 2019, 14:45
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
No need for plasticos if you would have a nice bowl of roughage for brekky instead of the Full Mona.
Reply With Quote
  #5266  
Old 11th July 2019, 17:07
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
I rarely have a proper breakfast. Mug coffee. Crap. Muesli with added bran and skimmed milk. Pills (NOT Pils!) followed by a bacteria enriched probiotic light Yakult and then half a melon. Second coffee. On those rare occasions where the 'big' breakfast is done I still follow this formula earlier.

It's all downhill for the day after the bowel-grip has been downed. Unless it hasn't worked.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5267  
Old 11th July 2019, 17:53
Tmac1720's Avatar
Tmac1720 Northern Ireland Tmac1720 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Newtownabbey
Posts: 1,267
Images: 15
An extra greasy Ulster Fry is what you need. Maybe you'll even get round to testing the lawn mower wot I fixed

Shipyard breakfast = 4 raw eggs, 1 large tot of Brandy in half a glass of cold milk then down it in one
__________________
Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
Reply With Quote
  #5268  
Old 12th July 2019, 00:37
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Come on. That's no Hibernian dejeuner. Not a potato mentioned.


If the mower can't manage the croquet lawn then I'll be round with some jollop. You're obviously egg bounds.

(I didn't know Jeeves 'did' for H&W plumbers, you'll be telling us next Mr. Wooster's Great Aunt Augusta did knocking up).
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5269  
Old 12th July 2019, 03:07
billyboy's Avatar
billyboy Philippines billyboy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Philippines
Posts: 2,174
Images: 22
Full English for me please, Unless I am at home then its fruits followed by either corn flakes or porridge oats washed down with coffee. (only gets me an English when I go to Davao city which is rare) Ease the bowel load and clean teeth (dentures) and I am set for the day.
__________________
"Imagination is more important than knowledge". A. Einstein.
Reply With Quote
  #5270  
Old 12th July 2019, 06:03
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
Orange Juice for everybody this morning. The Tropicana Locker was topped up overnight by the light of the dying embers of our wonderful bonfire on the Bridge Wing. TA will be a bit pissed-Off with the state of his teak decking, no amount of holystoning will remediate the devastation caused.
Mr Varleys Aunt Agatha would not be in favour of the shipyard breakfast but his Aunt Dahlia can down a brandy and raw egg with the best of them. I well remember back in '93 when she shared a social drink with H&W Welders football team, only herself and the goalkeeper were left standing when the Harbour Police raided the canteen the following lunchtime. Boots ran out of Solpadine. T, who was a tasty striker, was on I/V junior asprin for a week to get his vitals working again.

Last edited by Engine Serang; 12th July 2019 at 06:06. Reason: Too much blather.
Reply With Quote
  #5271  
Old 12th July 2019, 10:19
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,487
Wasn't that when she was 98? At 93 she was still living on an Antipode (usually playing hooker at weekends and regularly facing the Hakka). A Great aunt indeed.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #5272  
Old 12th July 2019, 13:00
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
How she earned a crust is of no importance but obviously, as you say, she was a sporting sort.
Reply With Quote
  #5273  
Old 12th July 2019, 15:38
Tmac1720's Avatar
Tmac1720 Northern Ireland Tmac1720 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Newtownabbey
Posts: 1,267
Images: 15
Well so much for the big parade today Got the Lambeg out of storage only to find Squeek had eaten a hole in the skin

The miscreant is now confined to the control room nursing a broken tail and giving me baleful looks as he knows worse is to come

Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
__________________
Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
Reply With Quote
  #5274  
Old 12th July 2019, 16:41
Farmer John's Avatar
Farmer John Farmer John is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,506
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
Well so much for the big parade today Got the Lambeg out of storage only to find Squeek had eaten a hole in the skin

The miscreant is now confined to the control room nursing a broken tail and giving me baleful looks as he knows worse is to come

Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
I believe one can be easily made from the thigh bone of a small animal, perhaps a large rodent.

ES, you will find sleeping in future difficult, all wood of any description has been removed from your accommodation and will be used to repair your wanton vandalism to our wonderful vessel the Golden Dreamer. Any remaining vestiges of comfort have been dismantled and crafted into a set of stocks mounted on the bitts at the bows, where you will be confined until you shout "UNCLE".

Not a harsh punishment, merely a just one.
__________________
Buvez toujours, mourrez jamais.
Rabelais
Reply With Quote
  #5275  
Old 12th July 2019, 21:27
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post

Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
NO.

But I know a man who can tootle a flute.

He is in my cabin, Stateroom, with his feet in a basin of Radox, Henessee Tennessee suffers from ingrown kneecaps.
Reply With Quote
Post Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 14:11.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.