virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

we are all one big happy Family aboard here Malcolm....Cheers!

[Varley]

Now, a barbeque is it. Really prefer food cooked inside outside rather than half botulism babies specially part carbonised over a split 45 gallon drum. However it would be churlish to grump alone in my house sniffing at Gripewater in the vain hope of sensing flavour. Does bread sauce go with penguin?

[billyboy]

Ah there you are Varley. Care for a large libation and a fine cigar?

Not over keen on the Bar-B-Q myself. Them gulls never seem to miss. Last time one swooped down and stole the burger patty clean out of my roll. I have watched them study the wind before evacuating their bowels over the grill.

[tony allen]

I study the wind before I get out of
me pit If it rumbles .get up sharpish if its gentle then I let go mostly aft

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Varley

All the snot loosening pills and blasting steroids up the nose has still not brought back my sense of taste.

Perhaps you should try the tried and true method and call on the devices of Sister Eleff, or Red-17 ----some cotton waste on the end of a corkscrew vigourously inserted in your nasal passage, twisted, then rapidly removed should provide adequate clearance??

[Tom Alexander]

[COLOR="Red"COLOR]

Originally Posted by ssr481

Boss.. would dearly love to join in.. but am in no. 1 hold practicing my slapshot.. then off to the hangar deck to install my new mega-mega screen TV to watch the Lads play the Senators tonight in the Conference final... oh yeah... barbeque on the hangar deck, hot dogs, hamburgers, and lots and lots of Ahrn...

GO PENGUINS! ! !

Being a 'umble Canadian, all I can say is "sorry" but I do hope the Ottawa Senators continue their recent performance.

[Tom Alexander]

With the lack of enthusiasm for a trip to the South Pole, I took it upon myself to sneak into the transporter room and then, having cracked the security code, beamed myself to the South Pole, planted the Golden Dreamer house flag there and returned forthwith, fifthwith, if not sooner. I don't think anyone even missed me?

[Malcolm G]

Originally Posted by billyboy

we are all one big happy Family aboard here Malcolm....Cheers!

Well in that case, mine's a glass of W & J Graham's best Port.

Got to support the relatives don't y'know - leave the bottle....


Your jolly good health!

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

Got to support the relatives don't y'know - leave the bottle....


Your jolly good health!

Oh, we always leave the bottle. The contents, gone like snow in Summer.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Perhaps you should try the tried and true method and call on the devices of Sister Eleff, or Red-17 ----some cotton waste on the end of a corkscrew vigourously inserted in your nasal passage, twisted, then rapidly removed should provide adequate clearance??

You forgot the Bunker C on the cotton waste to kill any infection - (never mind the lint free material recommended elsewhere on here).

[billyboy]

Have a word with Tmac Varley. an air line connected to ones stern gland might blow it all out for you.
Here have another bottle while you are thinking about it.....Cheers!

[Dartskipper]

For complete efficacy of the remedy, it might be advisable to hammer some bungs into the ears as well.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

With the lack of enthusiasm for a trip to the South Pole, I took it upon myself to sneak into the transporter room and then, having cracked the security code, beamed myself to the South Pole, planted the Golden Dreamer house flag there and returned forthwith, fifthwith, if not sooner. I don't think anyone even missed me?

Back already Tom? I heard you say something about nipping ashore for a quick one.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

[COLOR="Red"COLOR]

Being a 'umble Canadian, all I can say is "sorry" but I do hope the Ottawa Senators continue their recent performance.

Were they the Washington Senators once upon a time?

I'm guessing from the black and gold colours that the Penguins still skate in Pittsburgh?

[Varley]

Problem is with the Euston Station tubes. If there was no eardrum (through which the GP can see and reckons no more room the other side for gunk) then a messy blow-through would probably do the job but I don't want to end up deaf - it is a much worse disability than many think. My reception is already in ARQ mode and doing as much Repeat requesting as it is 'printing'. We seem to be clear of the nose blowing vertigo that had alarmed me enough to run off to the GP but today's two pints just didn't taste like they should have.

[Tmac1720]

David far be it from me to presume to offer medical advice which as we all accept is the purview of the beautiful Sister Eleff but may I offer an injuneering solution to your ailment.

1, place your male appendage (penile) upon a table near the edge
2, strike vigorously with a lump hammer
3. the congealed wax etc will thereupon fly out of your ears at a considerable rate of knots

Don't thank me it's all part of the service

[tony allen]

Riddle me this. heard someone say today on a discusion the you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.but can some of you old hands confirm the in the lifeboat lockers there are old tins of egg powder.so you can make either an omelette or a pancake

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

David far be it from me to presume to offer medical advice which as we all accept is the purview of the beautiful Sister Eleff but may I offer an injuneering solution to your ailment.

1, place your male appendage (penile) upon a table near the edge
2, strike vigorously with a lump hammer
3. the congealed wax etc will thereupon fly out of your ears at a considerable rate of knots

Don't thank me it's all part of the service

Did one, odd looks from chess partner. Did two, edge now closer, getting odder looks from chess partner while trying to comply as he moves table further from edge. Objective three not achieved (had GP been seeing wax through my eardrum he would have had to have been looking from the inside out).

I'll go and see Sis. and here's your lump hammer back sorry about the edging material stuck to the face.

[billyboy]

If Sisters not there at the sick bay ask for Red-17. she is a trained nurse who has kindly volunteered to assist in the sick bay in times of need.
Maybe she knows a way to blow the blockage from you aural canals or nasal passages David.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by tony allen

Riddle me this. heard someone say today on a discusion the you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.but can some of you old hands confirm the in the lifeboat lockers there are old tins of egg powder.so you can make either an omelette or a pancake

Or scrambled egg. However one still needs one egg to break so as to have a little of its shell to scatter on finished dishes made from the powder.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Wow, that was a long nap. I must have needed it. Do I look better? It was beauty sleep, you know. I've just been skimming the posts to see what I've missed. Good medical advice from Tmac. Ouch! It appears that I may have a few more inseams to measure. For those of you who have just joined the GD, please have a browse through the uniforms. Funny, no one wants the swashbuckler and it's so Errol Flynn-ish. Then it's time for fun and games with the measuring. Next - There will be NO - I repeat - NO cooking the chickens! Gawd! How many times do I have to tell you! I don't want to see chicken on the buffet. My babies! Thermals have been ordered, Sir William, Sir. Amazon will drop them by drone. Last but not least!!! No one - no one calls me Patsy. Pat, Pats, Patricia, but not the other one. Have I missed anything? Can I get a bacon sarnie and a cup of very black coffee with proper cream? Please? (Another long work week ahead of me. I'll endeavor to do a better job of checking in this week.) . That is all.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Commodore Briggs -- well known for intestinal infortitude (his favourite postings had a lot to do with phaarrrrts! ---- and Dom was the originator of White Gloss- a special distillation which is only provided for consumption on special occasions.

Both were very well respected and frequent participents in the adventures of the GD.
sadly, they have now departed this mortal coil, but are still affectionately remembered.

And I inherited my position from Dom. I'm now the keeper of Dom's White Gloss. He left us the recipe, but in keeping with his humour, I think he left out an ingredient. No one has ever been able to make White Gloss the same as he did. Luckily, we still have some of the original recipe. Maybe we'll raise a glass of White Gloss to Commodore, Sir and Dom when we reach the land of the midnight sun.

[PatriciaAnnT]

This is the kind of stuff I've been waiting for

Farmer John -
Ice Cream cones (Heavy duty)
Left handed corkscrew (motorised)
Bald man's comb (with polish applicator).
Trouser furling rig (with Spanish Windlass).

Tmac -
set of metric glass hammers and rubber nails
bucket of tartan paint
left handed spanner (Imperial to BSF thread)
open ended screwdriver (non ratchet)
replacement horizontal steam trap
lubricating gel for the Golden Rivet (jumbo size)

Sir William, Sir
A couple of fulsons pulminators in every size or just extra large like everything else around here?

[PatriciaAnnT]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Dear lady, you know not what you seek... I suggest you consult Pat's before you seek further enlightenment

Go for it Red. Whatever you do, just don't bend over.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Originally Posted by Red-17

I would love for you to explain the mysteries of the Golden Rivet to me Tmac, but I have been advised not venture into the shafting arrangements.

Be advised that there are many ventures that could result in shafting arrangements here.