virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tmac1720]

I am led to believe that Varley has been in secret communication with the Superintendent ashore regarding the ongoing crisis and effective countermeasures. My spy advises the the GD will be STUFT within the next day or two for use as a CCCC (go on work that out) for Boris or as I prefer to refer to him by his native American indian name "Walking Eagle" which translates as "big fat bird so full of shit it can't fly"

So there we have it lads, our future is assured on this long term charter provided nobody coughs, farts or sneezes

[Engine Serang]

CCCC
Cantrell and Cochrane Cordial Carrier. (Well they have OJ tankers in Ijsselhaven).

[Varley]

Rest easy. I thought the inclusion of cordial meant non-alcoholic. The interweb suggests it is just another purveyor of bothiebath abuse juice. Probably lifts paint like the others.

[Varley]

Coronovirus Case Coffin Carrier?

[Tmac1720]

Coronavirus Cough Control Centre (NOT as good as David's I admit)

[Engine Serang]

BBC news reports Lord V arrested for failing to Self-Isolate. Punishment will be 3 months in jail or 6 of the best.

[Varley]

Sadly we birch no more. He's probably safer inside than being at the mercy of an angry bogrolleless mob baying for pasta and threatened with pub closure. (We now have two confirmed cases - both acquired off Island it is thought. We are still only advised to stay away from hospitality but this is not yet mandated).

(Have just read we have a new acronym over here. PIPs - Potentially Infected People. Pip, pip).

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

Sadly we birch no more.

Now, there is a commercial opening, a whole industry could be developed.

[Varley]

13 cases today and locked down. The nine-tailed cat not the birch.

Wine Cellar chaps tell me that alcohol is not being classed as essential WRT freight - what hell has this speck of genetic material wrought?

[Engine Serang]

Tell your Wine Cellar chaps that alcohol is not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that.
Do you have your own Sommelier in Chateau V?

[Tmac1720]

made an emergency run ashore to Tesco for vital injuneering supplies, beer and crisps, they said all you need is a mask and gloves but the feckers lied. Everybody else had clothes on and I am now barred from Tesco for life.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Tell your Wine Cellar chaps that alcohol is not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that.
Do you have your own Sommelier in Chateau V?

Of course.

(But I keep the key!)

[Engine Serang]

Shirley the mask was well big enough to cover all other wee bits and pieces. You're bragging again, just like your stories about the Titanic and Esso Ulidia. Tesco's indeed, what's wrong with M&S? You are a cheapskate and in danger of giving us all a bad name.

[Varley]

Surely Ulidia was Groucho's (and it was Hesperus not Titanic).

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

...giving us all a bad name.

We don't care.

[billyboy]

anyone getting cabin fever yet?

[Varley]

Of course. It will only go away when we get MIJMA from Port State.

[Engine Serang]

MIJMA? Would that be a Code 17?

[Varley]

It is/was in the international code of signals for the asking and granting of pratique. An obscure document even in my day and neither the old man (the youngest deck officer incidentally) nor I had a clue when the Yugoslavian authorities at Koper answered his plain language request for free pratique (Tilapa, 1972). However I now do have a couple of copies in different date and national editions.

(This isolation could easily have caused me to code 17 last night. I must be more careful. More than one bottle of port makes one a bit covid-19ish in the AM. Not to mention falling down stairish).

[billyboy]

ah yes the dreaded Vino Collapso gets us all in the end Mr Varley. Mind you, if you stick to the better vintages its not so bad.
It just so happens I have a few bottles of very rare vintage Port left if you would care for one later. some half decent cigars too if memory serves me right

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by billyboy

some half decent cigars too if memory serves me right

Your memory does not serve you well. You know in your heart of hearts that The Hon V does not do "Half Decent", are you proposing he puffs on a King Edward? Surely not.
There are others on this Fine Lady who would smoke a Woodbine if it was rolled on the thigh of a nubile Cuban woman, but not V, he is made of sterner stuff. Get a couple of Montecristo No 2's in the Bond.

[Varley]

R&J Petit Royale or Partagas D No.6 for preference. I did know two people that thought King Eddie's were good. I have told Higgins to admit them only through the tradesman's entrance.

I do appreciate a vintage from our oldest ally however I really prefer it aged in wood so keep the expensive stuff for yourself and leave me the Tawny.

It is rightfully said that a dedicated alcoholic drinks cheap port and expensive brandy (poteen only in Hibernian coffee or when the fire is difficult to light).

[Farmer John]

I feel it is a shame that small tobacconists shops have disappeared from the streets. The little trays of different tobaccos were as redolent of history as the shipping forecast. You could call into a shop like this and buy a really cheap pipe to smoke tea in. The worst think I ever smoked was a twig of elder drilled down the middle, the rim dipped in oil and lit. Why do we regard such things as being the good old days?

[Tmac1720]

Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.

ha ha I like that!