virtual crazy gang, part II

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.

I think there is a BWH version of that hoary old joke.

[billyboy]

getting bored, Must be a port somewhere that will allow us to dock for the duration of this virus. Not that I am anxious to catch it but bunkers are starting to get low and provisions are not looking too good either.

[Engine Serang]

Where's your bulldog attitude, sulking in your cabin ist verboten, dismal Jimmies will have their testicles greased and serve them right.

We are playing deck quoits and the admirable Mr V is trying to lay carpet on the poop deck and make a croquet lawn although the green deck paint is slow drying. Tmax is labouring down below making a set of hoops but methinks he has spent too long in the Drawing Office.

I regard morale as high on this ship.
I regard morals as high also due to lack of opportunity.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

1.5 metres is so near yet soooofar

[Farmer John]

Sir William, don't worry, we are getting replenished in these difficult times by the same fashion that we get our Alcoholic stores. I suggest that, in the old tradition of Privateers, we locate a quiet beach somewhere where we can careen the ship, I am sure the old dear would love to have her bottom scraped, and we can straighten out the lumps where we had that tricky game of ship football.

A couple of weeks in a lean-to on the sandy beach, a little physical work and some careful seamanship, a little social to and fro with some local ladies, and we will be better able to assess the situation.

[Varley]

Not sure we need any more alcoholics. Surely we've well flattened that particular curve. Any joining now must surely be amateurs.

The lawn's just about there but mallets (bats) are likely difficult to get. Plenty of balls about but we really need phucks. Tmac's hoops are just fine.

[billyboy]

Alkiefrolics in abundance Mr Varley. Good we still have a stock of Dom's white gloss,Red boot topping,and green deck paint left.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

Tmac's hoops are just fine.

Glad to be of service young man, just make sure you strike the balls dead centre otherwise unexpected deviation may be experienced along with watery eyes

Apparently I went ashore the other day and inadvertently found myself incarcerated in the local Gulag. Boredom is quite a problem however I have managed to complete five books in a week which considering the amount of colouring in required is quite and achievement even if I say it myself. Hopefully I will soon be released from my unforeseen incarceration, the Borscht soup is playing havoc with my digestion however I can now pass wind to the tune of "we'll meet again" in C minor.

I will complete my injuneering log entry just as soon as I can obtain another piece of toilet roll and a suitable writing implement. The present stylus is rather soft and only writes in a most unpleasant manner.

Dosvedanya comrades

[Engine Serang]

Is this a disease of the lungs or a disease of the brain?
Mr Varley, be a good chap and cut along to WH Smith's and get Tmax another box of Caran D'Ache Luminance to colour in his memoirs.
Belay that last order, BillyBoy recommends a small box of Crayola.

[Varley]

Crayola sounds less expensive. I will get on to Amazon as colouring materials do not count as essentials. I would have thought his memoirs could do with just a dash of whitewash to avoid the obscene publications act.

[Engine Serang]

Capital idea. Whitewash is something we in Northern Ireland are quite familiar and comfortable with. A substance close to our hearts and one Tmax has used liberally on newbuilds and not only in the FW Tanks.

[billyboy]

white gloss for me please...Oh, errrrrm wash eh....cancel that then.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

. A substance close to our hearts and one Tmax has used liberally on newbuilds and not only in the FW Tanks.

Limewashing in the tanks brings back a rather painful and embarrassing memory. On conducting a tank inspection one day I chanced to slip off the ladder and slid base over apex down into the tank. Thankfully not a deep tank but a fresh water one. I emerged from the tank absolutely soaked in wash and had to trundle my way across the deck, off the ship and back up the very long Queens Road dripping white droplets all the way accompanied by much raucous laughter from the assembled multitudes

So thanks ES, I owe you one for that

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

So thanks ES, I owe you one for that

Just try to be nicer to me.

[billyboy]

whats that?...Tmac dripping white stuff!...well been a long time since he had a run ashore poor chp. always busy below see.

[Engine Serang]

BB always seeing the good in people.

[billyboy]

Oh yes I have a kind heart indeed. care for a wee dram while you are up here?

[Varley]

Aye, a dram will make you see the best in the Devil himself.

(not that E-S is any sort of Devil, not when one is off-watch anyway).

[Engine Serang]

There is The Devil who is a right bastard and The Divil who is full of crack and a tip-top drinking companion.
I know which one I would choose.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

There is The Devil who is a right bastard and The Divil who is full of crack and a tip-top drinking companion.
I know which one I would choose.

Probably the horney one

[John Rogers]

The one with the crack.

[Farmer John]

My heart, mind and body are pure. It's blooming awful.

[billyboy]

Yes, being the son of a vicar does have its drawbacks Farmer John.

[Engine Serang]

Marianne Faithful was the son of a vicar and she enjoyed herself.

[Varley]

Obviously not with either of them!