virtual crazy gang, part II

billyboy · #**601** 18th May 2017, 08:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Don't tell me you've changed the chain locker into a dimly lit rose tinted boudoir with a water bed and mirrors on the deck head??

Nooooo Tom. just showing the young lady around the ship. The water bed and soft lighting come later in my suite heh heh heh
'

billyboy · #**602** 18th May 2017, 08:52

And this my dear is where the sailors used to live. there would have been 6 men sleeping in here. And this their mess deck where they would eat and take their Tots.
Tots dear. every day when the sun was over the yard arm tots would be issued to the men. I have some here for you to try. this is Pussers rum and very good for you too! Cheers. now come along with me and I'll show you the Bridge where all the navigating is done.

billyboy · #**603** 19th May 2017, 05:47

This is the Bridge where my Commodore and Captain do all the navigation. Along here is my private owners suite do come and see my dear, Another drinkie? My private bar. Over there my bathroom.
Here we have my Jaccuzi. What? never tried one! then you must my dear. just leave your clothes on that chair and I will get it prepared for you. here, another drinkie, Mind if i join you, plenty of room for us both to relax and....CENSORED!!! (sorry readers you will have to use your imagination)

Varley · #**604** 19th May 2017, 15:29

......And a beard in her ear'ole which tickled and said "AVE SOME MADEIRA M'DEAR"

Dartskipper · #**605** 19th May 2017, 21:12

"Just relax my dear, it's only the roll of the ship."

"Oh, that's a relief, I thought it was a roll of linoleum."

Tom Alexander · #**606** 20th May 2017, 07:24

OK you lot --- (other than the ladies) it's time to withdraw from whatsoever, or whomsoever you are doing and prepare to sail. The ladies, I am sure will repair aboard with proper deportment and in a sober manner suited to their moral fortitude.

billyboy · #**607** 20th May 2017, 09:27

Bye bye, thanks for coming.

Aye aye Tom, standing by for departure. Bit worried about the Mayor Tom. you see that lip stick on his collar? different colour and taste to what his wife was wearing!

Tmac1720 · #**608** 20th May 2017, 10:26

Squeek, Eric pack your kit I need you ashore for a while.... Engine Serang you are in charge of my babbies just make sure you do everything Sir William requires.... good lad

billyboy · #**609** 20th May 2017, 11:32

Dont worry Engine Sarang I will be covering Tmacs watches while he's ashore.

SSR!...need you to fly Tmac ashore Jim. one way trip so you will have space aboard for extra cargo on your return.

PatriciaAnnT · #**610** 20th May 2017, 15:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

In the first place we thrive on Mayhem...Its what keeps this ship afloat.
2nd we have been banned from so many ports around the world already (always manage to buy our way back in)

3rd, the SS St Louis....now there is a good idea...ha ha ha

I remember many years ago when I was asked to join the GD. They were filming a porn movie and oddly it was a musical. Now, you want to talk mayhem. Ahh, those were the days.

Varley · #**611** 20th May 2017, 18:29

Sir William in the engine room? No use relying on E-S he can't tell a hairy sporran from a drizit pad. I'll have to go on watch myself.

Kindly reserve sufficient mayhem and lubrication for same for when I get off. Mind you with those two it looks like four on stop on.

Farmer John · #**612** 20th May 2017, 18:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatriciaAnnT

I remember many years ago when I was asked to join the GD. They were filming a porn movie and oddly it was a musical. Now, you want to talk mayhem. Ahh, those were the days.

Any songs you would like to share? We all promise to join in any choruses, possibly with all the hand actions (within the bounds of possibility/credibility).

Varley · #**613** 21st May 2017, 00:20

I have a small volume dictated from an impromptu rugby choir practice, should I bring that along?

billyboy · #**614** 21st May 2017, 00:39

Oh yes, good Idea Varley. Lets have a rehearsal in the crews bar tonight..
I think if we worked 8 on and 8 off down below and switch to full bridge control at night with all alarms set we should be ok. 4am till 12 noon. you do 12 noon to 8pm. Engine room will be locked up then till I go down at 4 am.

Red-17 · #**615** 21st May 2017, 06:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Squeek, Eric pack your kit I need you ashore for a while.... Engine Serang you are in charge of my babbies just make sure you do everything Sir William requires.... good lad

Now what is our esteemed injuneer up to? I don't really think Eric and Squeek are up to being on shore, hope Tmac keeps a close watch over them. Hmmm, should we be concerned? It is my opinion that we should and I am already feeling my anxiety levels rising.

If anyone needs me I will be in my cabin. Now? Where did I put that Valium that I picked up in Invercargill?

Red-17 · #**616** 21st May 2017, 06:44

Ahem, just when did I go from being a 'member' to being a 'senior member'? I'm sure there are other crew members far more entitled to be called 'senior' than moi, like, Tmac and Tom and Pats.

Tom Alexander · #**617** 21st May 2017, 07:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Bye bye, thanks for coming.

Aye aye Tom, standing by for departure. Bit worried about the Mayor Tom. you see that lip stick on his collar? different colour and taste to what his wife was wearing!

He must have run into the 2nd. plastic steward in the galley -- perfect match!

Tom Alexander · #**618** 21st May 2017, 07:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Any songs you would like to share? We all promise to join in any choruses, possibly with all the hand actions (within the bounds of possibility/credibility).

Here we go!!! ---- "Away, away, with fife and drum,
Here we come, full of rum,
Looking for women to peddle their (whatever rhymes with rum)
On the North Atlantic Squadron.

Or:

They were doing it in the hallways,
They were doing it on the stairs,
Well you could'na hear the bagpipes
For the snapping of curly hairs. (From the Ball of Kerrymuir)

We are going to be underway in one hour - when we clear pilotage, we will have a departure party in #1 hold -- have to cheer up SSR (Like it or not!)

Tom Alexander · #**619** 21st May 2017, 07:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

Now what is our esteemed injuneer up to? I don't really think Eric and Squeek are up to being on shore, hope Tmac keeps a close watch over them. Hmmm, should we be concerned? It is my opinion that we should and I am already feeling my anxiety levels rising.

If anyone needs me I will be in my cabin. Now? Where did I put that Valium that I picked up in Invercargill?

Hi Red I'll come to your cabin right now -- bringing a bottle of Varley's prized Port. A little shoulder rub and some quiet conversation should calm your nerves. (I could give you a shoulder rub as well, if you like!)

billyboy · #**620** 21st May 2017, 08:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

Ahem, just when did I go from being a 'member' to being a 'senior member'? I'm sure there are other crew members far more entitled to be called 'senior' than moi, like, Tmac and Tom and Pats.

Its automatic Red-17. after a certain amount of postings you become a senior member. You have done very well to achieve the title so quickly. Well done Lass.

billyboy · #**621** 21st May 2017, 08:36

Pilot boat approaching Tom!...cut outs to Port side to assist the pilot if required please!

VROOOOM .........VROOOM. Main engines on Tom. Standing by for manhoovers.

Bulkhead phone:Steward! bring down 2 clean glasses please. (dont like sucking black bush from the pipe. besides it makes Varleys beard go curly)

billyboy · #**622** 21st May 2017, 08:39

nicely settled into the control room:
Plenty of magazines here to read Varley. Some of the pages seem stuck together!...must have been eating Marmalade on toast down here.

Red-17 · #**623** 21st May 2017, 10:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Hi Red I'll come to your cabin right now -- bringing a bottle of Varley's prized Port. A little shoulder rub and some quiet conversation should calm your nerves. (I could give you a shoulder rub as well, if you like!)

Oh Tom, a neck rub would be wonderful and a glass of port would mean that I wouldn't need the Valium but I am a little concerned about what the rest of the crew would think.

billyboy · #**624** 21st May 2017, 12:48

no worried Red-17. we will leave you in peace (and watch the CCTV) so you can relax and enjoy your massage. Tom's really good at it/

Varley · #**625** 21st May 2017, 14:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

Oh Tom, a neck rub would be wonderful and a glass of port would mean that I wouldn't need the Valium but I am a little concerned about what the rest of the crew would think.

Just because I'm off the stuff for a bit doesn't mean you can go and use it as a back rub. Anyway it'll leave you very sticky even if it does smell better than horse linament.

(Now then, I wonder if I could taste that?)