virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's better to hear it than smell it. And we are unanimous on that.
Almost unanimous.
Mostly unanimous.
In fact blood has been spilt during discussions.
But we settled things with an evening in Hatfield House.

Aye those were the days

[Varley]

A full galleon? Have you checked the stability booklet? All things considered things go better when it's us that's full and the old tub has some ullages about her.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

Have you checked the stability booklet?

I have checked the stability booklet, it is a photo of the GD with "TOP" and "BOTTOM" clearly marked and one of Tmac's drawings of a raygun in the margin. I aim to follow this assiduously.

[Engine Serang]

And a pencil drawing of a drumkit with Them on the bass.

[Varley]

Chief Plastico tells me that what you have there is a sign from their 'bibliotheque erotique' (otherwise pornie's bookshelf). He'd like you to put it back.

(I'll see if I can find a plug for the Lodicator-I hope no one has been scribbling on the instructions for that!)

[Engine Serang]

Stability Booklet, ha-ha. When were we last loaded to our marks? The Load Line Disc is suffering from drought and Mr. McGregor himself couldn't open the hatches. A firkin of beer and a baron of beef a cargo doesn't make, Me Hearties.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Mr. McGregor himself couldn't open the hatches.

Shows how little attention you pay to my instructions.... The hatch covers are Kaverner

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Shows how little attention you pay to my instructions.... The hatch covers are Kaverner

He is a bit of a Lad, but never short of something daft to say.

(Ruffles ES's wiry curls and laughs in an acid sort of way). Curls on head, before anyone starts.

[Varley]

I don't know about you but I was down to my marks last night after finishing the lamb's gravy. Isn't that what they mean by taking a stiff one?

Why do we need a brief, and an expensive one at that, to open the bloody hatches?

[Engine Serang]

Well Herr Kaverner couldn't open the hatches. But the good news is that FJ has found V's Stability Booklet and it consists of a single page. This information rich page tells us he will develop an angle of loll after 4 pints and will turn turtle if topped-off with fortified wine, navy rum or Hydroxychloroquine with a jorum of Gordons in it. Smit Tak righted him the last time but FJ, BB and Command will be slow to sign another LOF after the industrial quantities of keekh that fell on them.

[Varley]

You seem to have found an old school report. I was referring to GD's Stability Booklet not the lower sixth laboratory records of my personal inclining experiments.

[Farmer John]

I have an old school report, written in red ink at the bottom it says "John is Incredibly stubborn", then the pen tears the paper a little in the signature. Incredibly is underlined three times.

[billyboy]

written on mine it said (upon leaving school) Whoever gets this boy to work for them will be very lucky. That was nice eh?
The following morning I sailed as deck boy on a pleasure boat out of Newhaven to various destinations along the south coast (piers between Hastings and Shanklin)

[Engine Serang]

One report reported that the Serang would have trouble making the grade on deck but could blossom in the engine room or as a Marconi Sahib.
As an old head on young shoulders I plumped for the Black Gang.
Deck indeed.

[Farmer John]

"Whoever gets this boy to work for them will be very lucky"

You could take that two ways I suppose.

[Tmac1720]

My skool repert said "This boy should go far, the further the better" and I made it all the way to Australia

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

"

You could take that two ways I suppose.

Apparently that is what the injuneer said to the greaser

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

I made it all the way to Australia

Botany Bay one presumes.
Botany Bay to Helens Bay, the boy's done well.

[billyboy]

Tannoy! attention!...there is a land mass off our starboard bow and according to this map thingy up here, at the end of the pencil line there is no land. Someone come up and take a look. Also the TV thing in the corner is playing up. no picture just a line going round and round..

[Engine Serang]

Billy there's a technical term for your dilemma; LOST.
Engines to STOP.
SLOW ASTERN.
All way off ship, ring STOP.

Now put on a very concerned look and interview the navigator, without coffee, and scratch hole. Apologise to the engine room for waking them up. Borrow FJ's Tom-Tom and find out where we are, if there's a Little Chef or McDonalds anywhere near we can drop the Jolly-Boat and head off for a hearty breakfast.

[billyboy]

I think I can see a column of smoke rising maybe Macie D's have the burgers on already. Let me see through the Binopeculiars. No its a fire under a very large pot...Must be making soup for us eh?

[Engine Serang]

Potage du Varley?
I'm told it has more protein than a lorry load of Quorn.

Onions 2 cwt
Carrots 2 cwt
Celery 1 cwt
Leeks 4 stone
Water 80 gallons
Varley 1 off.

[Varley]

Recipe is not to far out in percentage terms but a different cured pig is employed to make the stock. However in this case you have discovered us trying to use witchcraft to dispel the miasma of McNugwrap effusions. Eye of newt is still in short supply despite lockdown easing.

The spell rather backfired, we now have to put up with their clientele driving though here as well to dip their McMuckburgers in the cauldron for added McFlavour.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Tannoy! attention!...there is a land mass off our starboard bow and according to this map thingy up here, at the end of the pencil line there is no land. Someone come up and take a look. Also the TV thing in the corner is playing up. no picture just a line going round and round..

Just use a yellow crayon to ink in the hyrdraulicgopher's glaring omission. If you go over it with the chinagraph it will also show up on the roundy-go-round Tellyscreeniedar.

Should we claim it the name of HM? Perhaps it should be HRH's instead. At 94 we might not have time to get it into NtMs or the ECDIS.

[billyboy]

Thank you Mr Varley. I feel any contact with HM can be done by Tmac. After all he has had contact with said lady before.
However, we are still unaware of our location. I cant be sure even of which ocean we are in let alone what island. (where I live there are 1110 of the blighters at low water)