virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

That you would rather think not suggests the more flexible approach to evidence of which you suspect us. It is only non-resident concerns that can operate immorally WRT their domiciliary fiscal liege-lord (not quite true, for instance it used to be quite common to borrow from a resident corporate vehicle and so claim relief on the interest.To the point of bankrupting that vehicle and walking away from any liabilities apart from the two one pound shares. Such, however, is no longer the 'done thing' and as you know we are dedicated followers of the 'done thing'. So don't think you can come here and 'do' us with your wild Hibernian 'thing'.).

Can I borrow a plastico? The washing up machine is on the fritz and I have become reacquainted with the bore that is washing up. I promise to return him in good condition and only need him for the night (he will not HAVE to share so it needn't be the pretty one) as a new one should arrive tomorrow.

Will we see you at MNOPF Wellbeing tomorrow?

[Engine Serang]

There is an old line from Herman Goering, "When I hear the word culture I reach for my gun." As a big hairy ar$ed engineer every time I hear the word Wellbeing I reach for a big stillson.
No room for namby-pamby nancy boys in my engine room.

[Farmer John]

Oh, ES. I bet you wish you had an engine room.

[Varley]

Has anyone actually confirmed he is big or, indeed, has the hairyarse to go with it?

Save on that travel warrant. You can hold on to that plastico as the new machine's in and I was fed Friday and Saturday so only the five day scum covered irons and crocks to finish off in it. Maybe he can be assigned to E-S's nambypambys' alleyway.

I am not sure the MNOPF TIC (Trustee in Charge) has his financial priorities right. While a past IMarEST treasurer remarked that his books would look much better if a plague carried off pensioners by the bucketload Mr.Murphy hoped we would have a long and healthy life. Nonetheless seminars on the net I may continue to attend but should there be a seaside outing by coach or chartered aircraft arranged for us I may choose to miss it.

(Recent intelligence reaches me of genuine distress amongst both sea staff and office staff over crew changes and expired contracts. There has to be something considerably more nambypambyish about sailors who cannot endure tours the length of which we would have considered normal nothing. Not all of us had good runs to compensate either. 1977. Six months no port and only a glimpse of Libya at one end of the route. To boot all Spanish except me and my junior and the food was shite too. I am happy to say the booze was excellent, a legitimate gripe for today's sailors (would the the nambypamby drink, though? I wonder).

I turned out undamaged (UNDAMAGED I TELL YOU! UNDAMAGED).

[Engine Serang]

A charabanc outing to Ramsey.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Oh, ES. I bet you wish you had an engine room.

Of course I have.
And it's 6 decks below you.
Wake up and ***** up, on the Bridge.
All hands on deck, command are on the magic mushrooms again.

[Tmac1720]

AHEM !!!! I am sorry to disillusion you ES my lad but I think you will find it's MY injun room and the only big hairy arsed injuneer is MOI !!!! admittedly Squeek and Eric have also furry arses but they are devoid of hair last time they reported for a short arm inspection.

As for you own Derry Air, personally I prefer the song to observing your nether regions except when a well aimed boot is required to get you started on watch.

However that said you will have to take over as Chief for a few days while I am ashore for a few days undergoing some minor repairs. Contrary to popular rumour it is NOT major surgery to open my wallet. The white fivers are still intact however the IOU from Mr Varley has suddenly disappeared only to be replaced by a Manx 50p note

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Of course I have.
And it's 6 decks below you.
Wake up and ***** up, on the Bridge.
All hands on deck, command are on the magic mushrooms again.

Feck sake, have you learned nothing as my apprentice the pump room is six decks below the greenhouse with the lights and whirly wheel thingy. The injun room is on deck eight which you would realise should you ever condescend to turn up for duty

P.S. when I refer to the Tank Top I don't mean the roof of a bloody Panzer

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

The white fivers are still intact however the IOU from Mr Varley has suddenly disappeared only to be replaced by a Manx 50p note

Every time Mr Varley opens his wallet the Queen blinks from the light.

Ah now T be fair, it is ER not VR.

[Engine Serang]

Honoured to take the throttles for a wee while when you are in drydock. Hope you are booked into a reputable Yard. Squeek and Eric will be well looked after and trained to run up the leg of officers trousers when in Red Sea Rig. I'm not feeding them any nuts, they can forage for themselves. Be sure to have the stern gland repacked before signing-on as we don't want any leakage or pollution.
And don't fiddle with the nurses, we know all about your shenanigans the last time. Good luck.

[Varley]

A Ramsey outing (assume suggesting gay picnic type, not the queer hatecrime type) should not offer too much risk providing we go via Kirk Michael. I'll have to check the visa situation. Going the coast road there is the additional danger of an ambush by the Attack Chapter of the Loaghtan Ladies League of Decency, a change of ship has not thrown them off the scent.

VR? Rex. That would be a post nominal to command respect.

And someone owes me two bob that IoU was for 5/- (25p) at base plus nowt percent.

[Engine Serang]

VR; Victoria Regina, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland Queen, Defender of the Faith, Empress of India.
Rex is only used for Kings or Alsatian Dogs.

[Engine Serang]

Going the coast road there is the additional danger of an ambush by the Attack Chapter of the Loaghtan Ladies League of Decency.

Keep clear of them, they are the IOM's answer to the Taliban and their rock buns are as lethal as hand grenades.

[billyboy]

Loaghtan Ladies League of Decency! if they are anything like a coach load of nuns i once drove they may not be all they are cracked up to be. I well remember we once had 28 nuns aboard here for a short cruise....Great fun they were...with of course the exception of Mother Superior who totally appeared to have very little sense of humour.

[Engine Serang]

Is the Mother Superior a rank?

[Varley]

No, grammar E-S, grammar. Mother Superior is a rank. The Mother Superior may be rank but as a matter of hygiene not of relative hierarchical position.

[Tmac1720]

I have never had the chance to see Victoria's Regina but given the size of her underpinnings it must have been a vast edifice indeed.

On a personal note I can confirm the Mother Superior is anything but rank, indeed she is frequently attending to her ablutions. I recall sharing a bath with the said lady when I enquired "where's the soap?" to which she responded with an enigmatic but knowing smile "doesn't it"

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

No, grammar E-S, grammar. Mother Superior is a rank..

As I've said before on these, or similar, pages I have "O" Level English Language and English Literature and I feel I would be doing a disservice to the excellent Northern Ireland education system if I let a product of a lesser system tick me off. No way Hosey.
I'm all for rank and have said for a long time that we should have an Engine Superior, an Engine Serang and an Engine Inferior. I am comfortable in my current position, lets see the jockeying for the other two. CV's, gentlemen please.

[Varley]

I can imagine some vulgar suggestions for the epaulet design. One tit, two tit, three tit and four tit (you forgot the Engine Novitiate)

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

As I've said before on these, or similar, pages I have "O" Level English Language and English Literature and I feel I would be doing a disservice to the excellent Northern Ireland education system if I let a product of a lesser system tick me off. No way Hosey.
I'm all for rank and have said for a long time that we should have an Engine Superior, an Engine Serang and an Engine Inferior. I am comfortable in my current position, lets see the jockeying for the other two. CV's, gentlemen please.

No need for my CV - it only contains two words anyway - 'coal' and 'clinker'.
I have been insulted by experts in the field of insults and to be called 'Engine Inferior' is something of a promotion.
I know my place. Back to the shovel.
Incidentally, are we there yet? Wherever 'there' might be

[Varley]

As we are talking plumbing we would have to qualify the rank with steam, motor or combined. I can see conflict here. How could the pig iron polishers accept Steam Engine Superior, or, indeed, Motor Engine Inferior or, for the hot fog brigade vice versa. The latter might even grate with YM.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

'The latter might even grate with YM.'
Grate - it's choked with clinker. Who buys this cheap coal?
Is 'superior' or 'inferior' related in anyway to the height one is above sea level on board?

[Varley]

A good thought. After all we do rank according to where people work too. Cabin boy, deck boy etc. Perhaps stokers could be graded according to how many furnaces they could stoke at the same time (time being dictated by a Kilroy stoking indicator by Evershed and Vignoles)

(Sorry mods. That of course should be a cabin young person of gender or none. Not sure newspeak and seaspeak will ever sit together comfortably).

[Engine Serang]

I'm nearly sure modern steamships have replaced the Kilroy stoking indicator by with a more efficient PLC.
Allen-Bradley one : Evershed and Vignoles nil.

[billyboy]

.......The coal was slack and full of slate, thats what screwed the 4 til 8
the 8 till 12 were all good men but they were screwed by half past ten. 12 till 4 men did their best but came up screwed just like the rest..... Cant remember anymore