virtual crazy gang, part II

billyboy · #**6876** 2nd February 2021, 22:36

thanks Tmac, we will, you too mate.
Of to the city this morning armed with two QR codes and a travel pass (official) to attend the office of immigration for my annual report. out of house and out of town yipee!

YM-Mundrabilla · #**6877** 3rd February 2021, 05:42

Best wishes for a quick recovery Tmac.
Try a spoonful or three of this.
There is a jar for each crew member of the GD.

billyboy · #**6878** 3rd February 2021, 13:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Best wishes for a quick recovery Tmac.
Try a spoonful or three of this.
There is a jar for each crew member of the GD.

Engine Serang · #**6879** 3rd February 2021, 13:50

There is a jar for each crew member of the crew, Hip-Hip Hooray. And a jar for me, my cup overfloweth, as Bomber Harris once said.

Tmac1720 · #**6880** 3rd February 2021, 15:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

T my cup overfloweth,

Try a bigger bra size lad,

not a good look

Tmac1720 · #**6881** 3rd February 2021, 15:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Best wishes for a quick recovery Tmac.
Try a spoonful or three of this.
There is a jar for each crew member of the GD.

Thank you kind sir, goes well with a toasted soda

Malcolm G · #**6882** 3rd February 2021, 16:47

Anyone seen my jar of Vitam-R ?

billyboy · #**6883** 4th February 2021, 09:13

saw a jar of blue diamond shaped pills in the control room. would that be them?

Malcolm G · #**6884** 4th February 2021, 09:29

Really, no not That jar, not mine, must be Varley's.
I mean the rather tastier German yeast extract. I don't know whether Frau Merkel will let me have any more under the new arrangements.

Engine Serang · #**6885** 8th February 2021, 16:08

German yeast extract? Would it be a class of mustard. Great mit Bratwurst aber nicht mit die Currywurst. Mit zwei flasche dunkel bier. Por favor.

Varley · #**6886** 10th February 2021, 13:27

If you are eying up my breath-mints as a pharmacological connubial adjuvant I'd suggest there may be some lack of satisfaction when you try to have Mrs Merkel again, new arrangement or old.

billyboy · #**6887** 12th February 2021, 09:58

back in the land of the living again now chaps. had a bit of a fall. shook me up a bat an made left knee joint rather sore. Tmac gave me some Blue Unction to rub on it and its much better now(apart from the black stains from the Graphite powder.

Engine Serang · #**6888** 12th February 2021, 13:34

Anything medicinal Tmax gave me was drank and it did me the world of good. Try a tablespoon of his Blue Unction stirred into half glass of hot water and drink it up, if it needs sweetening a wee drop of Shirley Bassey helps.
Rub any leftover BU into your chest. You will be Riverdancing on your left knee before the night is out.

YM-Mundrabilla · #**6889** 13th February 2021, 01:16

Is it really blue or is it just the colour of the bottle?
Beware of Australian imitations it is black rather than blue and comes in a clear jar.

Engine Serang · #**6890** 13th February 2021, 07:54

Jeez, YM, don't be so pernickety.
Drink it up and shut up.
You'll be as right as rain in two shakes of a lambs tail.

billyboy · #**6891** 17th February 2021, 11:45

Black with a yellow cap??? we got rastafarians aboard now?

Varley · #**6892** 17th February 2021, 18:25

With what the hell does one wash the bedlinens to remove marmite smear? Following Sir William's knee saga with one of my own (only the starboard one, the port side being already knackered) I applied a warm butter and marmite poultice to it (well I couldn't hot-butter a knee could I?).

I still had to call Mandoc at 0145 to check how much ibuprofen I was allowed as the engine room's patent antikneeknock was as much use as capping a gauge cock with a lavatory brush.

billyboy · #**6893** 18th February 2021, 23:11

Marvelous, leg pain now gone but so has my back so no work today for me.
sorry to hear about Davids health problems. But I guess at our age its to be accepted. Getting old is like being punished for a crime you have not commited.

Engine Serang · #**6894** 19th February 2021, 07:44

Mandoc has stopped reacting to certain middle of the night calls because the Marmite smears are actually "Skid Marks". To the sense of Sight we can add Smell, ManDoc certainly did.

On supermarket shelves in Dublin we have Marmite XO and Marmite Dynamite, Phew. I strongly advise the Tynwald to ban it from the Isle otherwise Ariel and other detergents will have to be imported in industrial quantities.

Farmer John · #**6895** 19th February 2021, 17:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Getting old is like being punished for a crime you have not commited.

Speak for yourself, I have done the crime.

Varley · #**6896** 20th February 2021, 19:06

Our PSTN can't switch smell along with voice and picture. Evidence of this would be that such a blemish upon the luxury domestic flax would be immediately identified. Not as an unexpected escape of night-soil but as careless droppage from taking toast in bed, spread thinly with Gentleman's Relish (the toast, not the bed). Similar in visual rendition, I agree, but easily differentiated by smell (unless the odour of your ordure is anchovy). There would be no confusion should I have been consuming crumpets where a post hot-butterous Marmite application is de rigueur. They could tell that that didn't have a bowellian source as they could see it was black and that is not on my faecal colour palate.

Engine Serang · #**6897** 20th February 2021, 23:04

They could tell that that didn't have a bowellian source as they could see it was black and that is not on my faecal colour palate.

Drink more Guinness.

Varley · #**6898** 21st February 2021, 02:19

The last time I enjoyed Guinness was around the age of 12 in Dublin. On return to civilization I realized it was too bitter a brew for me when Ma tried to dose me with it to build up the too skinny No.2 son. A determined woman, baulking at a daily bottle of said elixir she tried me on Mackeson.

A fortnight is all it took to reveal her error, too late by 13 days. For some years my crate of Mackeson arrived as regularly as Pa's Whitbread Pale Ale (well, during the school holidays anyway).

I do not remember that ever having the chrominance adjustment on stoolular brown that you are claiming - are you sure you are accepting the routine health service offer to post them your turds to monitor your bottom end bowel condition?

Ma was right in one regard. No one has called me skinny since.

Engine Serang · #**6899** 21st February 2021, 07:10

It is a bit of a palaver but I have broken down into bite sized actions which even this old Yarrow 3 Drum fitter can understand;

1. Capture a stool

2.

Dear V, I am unable to undertake this task 2 hours before or after a meal. It really is stomach churning.
To be continued.

shave a sliver

Varley · #**6900** 21st February 2021, 16:58

1) Make three saucer shaped ice shelfs out of layers of wetted lavo-paper frozen. Appropriately sized to stop stool hitting trap water whilst at the same time allowing adequate 'drop height'.

2) Place an ice shelf in crapper.

3) Move to prove.

4) Take the little ice cream paddles to two different areas of stool, avoiding peanuts.

5) Smear two of the little windows using only one ice cream spoon for each and shut the flap.

6) Take you morning bath and return to find there has been a downward motion of the motion into the trap as the paper has melted.

7) Flush.

Repeat from 2) until all three sets of windows have been been browned off.

8) Dispatch, making sure you have disguised any suspiciously brown markings on the envelope.

Better your stomach occasionally does some churning than your family looses you to an early burning.