virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

TANNOY: Attention all crew (or whats left of us aboard here) we will sail on tomorrow mornings tide for Falmouth docks (unless a cheaper dry dock becomes available along the way).

anyone going home for Christmas let me know so I can arrange transport for them. I will be staying aboard as usual.

[Varley]

I think we may have to stay aboard to keep Sir W and others of such extreme nostalgia from topping themselves.

We could also beat the former with sticks for eschewing sate in Singapore for fish and chips in blighty (did he perhaps mistake cider with Rosie for cider made vinegar?).

(One should eschew every mouthfull 100 times before eswallowing).

[Tmac1720]

Bollocks to Falmouth (no offence nice place if you like that sort of thing) but I pulled a few strings and got us a berth in the Belfast dock for the duration of the holidays.

Refit all booked and paid for and at "mates rates" as well, if we get over the bar before they realise we have scarpered we will save even more

The sites of old Belshaft are on the doorstep, The Rising Tide, Dubarry's, Amelia Street, The beaten Docket and the Boom Boom Room are just a few to be visited.

The pox doctor will be available from Boxing day just in case you got an infected prick. These Covid jabs give you more than a sore arm so don't say you weren't warned

[Varley]

Can we open the bond again? That gallon of Rochas I had has mysteriously disappeared and I have only the Havana I had saved for a post turkey smokathon.

I suppose the heathen place may have a Chinaman to provide sate and flied rice?

(I should let the prick go ashore by himself Chief, we can always give him a lateral float test if he develops a sniffle.

My booster didn't trouble me at all but the bloody kitchen ceiling looks to make both the leg and the arm sore - don't get much light from a gas hob without a mantle).

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Bollocks to Falmouth (no offence nice place if you like that sort of thing) but I pulled a few strings and got us a berth in the Belfast dock for the duration of the holidays.

Refit all booked and paid for and at "mates rates" as well, if we get over the bar before they realise we have scarpered we will save even more

The sites of old Belshaft are on the doorstep, The Rising Tide, Dubarry's, Amelia Street, The beaten Docket and the Boom Boom Room are just a few to be visited.

The pox doctor will be available from Boxing day just in case you got an infected prick. These Covid jabs give you more than a sore arm so don't say you weren't warned

Thats brilliant news Tmac. Thank you very much good sir. Please come to my suite so I can sort out your Christmas bonuses later.

[billyboy]

Now to reset our ECDIS/Iron mike. B.E.L.F.A.S.T....press go. And thats it! Paddy land for crimbo it is then.
I trust crew mate will say thank you to Tmac for what he has done for us, With of course the customary bottle in hand.
Mr Varley would you please inform Falmouth docks that we will not be needing their drydock. Thank you.
Hmmmm revs have increased! ES must have drawn a new shovel from the stores. Think them two might just be on a promise in Belfast. we are making 25 knots now.

[Engine Serang]

Watched a C4 programme about the Titanic this evening and there was a great shortage of young, handsome, local experts giving knowledgeable opinion. Will send a strongly worded letter to Edwin Poots.
Signed,
Disgusted Kelly's Cellars.

[Engine Serang]

BB i'm taking a Watch to ease your burden and perhaps add to your anxiety.

Pilot away? H fleg down. Full Ahead both.
As she goes Cox'n? 207 Sir. Steer 210. Aye, Aye Sir.

Ring FAOP. Farmer, Tea and Hob Nobs please. Aye, Aye Sir.
Cox'n tell Mr Mundrabilla he can blow tubes if he's arsed, if not we'll log it anyway.

This is the life.

[Varley]

Had our newest ship handler remembered to drop the pirate instead of asking after him in an idle log book entry I might bother to do that. As it is he can take the message with him when he flies back from Belfast.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

BB i'm taking a Watch to ease your burden and perhaps add to your anxiety.

Pilot away? H fleg down. Full Ahead both.
As she goes Cox'n? 207 Sir. Steer 210. Aye, Aye Sir.

Ring FAOP. Farmer, Tea and Hob Nobs please. Aye, Aye Sir.
Cox'n tell Mr Mundrabilla he can blow tubes if he's arsed, if not we'll log it anyway.

This is the life.

Now that ES has elevated himself several decks it seems that I can do as I like when I like down here (until ES gets caught out and is forced to return that is).
I will blow tubes only when those above me have their whites, jocks and socks hanging on the aerials to dry.
So there.

[Varley]

Why am I being victimised? The only articles of the skiddie, occifer type boiler suitery or tropical uniform variety on the aerials are mine (or perhaps those of the new makey learny I was promised).

I need not tell you what will happen to your Christmas telephone call if so much as a smut gets on them from down below. As for your shovel. Another guess and you'll be reaching for Vaseline's bumoilio.

[Engine Serang]

Bit of hush on the Bridge lads, I'm trying to work out these stars. Old Moore advises using Rigel, Pollux and Deneb but I'm buggered if I can find Pollux so I'll use Aldebaran instead.
Bit of a cocked hat but as we're not in the Malacca Straits its ok.
Farmer I'd kill for a pot of tea and a Bakewell Tart.
Cox'n tell Mr Mundrabilla he can start the changeover to HFO 0.5 sulphur and I'll put it in the Log.
Listen up everybody, I want my Watch to steam further on less fuel than the other lazy sods on the Bridge.

[Engine Serang]

FFS a slice of Bakewell Tart. Jesus wept.

[Varley]

A slice of bakewell tart it is, sir! a bakewlll tart of wheel 'on'.

(But you ain't going to win the Priz de Goblin for fuel economy with helm orders like that. Better let the ECDIS take us through without connecting it to your celestially cocked-up millinery)

[billyboy]

Just had a look at the map thingy we are making good progress we could well be docking 19th December.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

We won't fall off the edge of the map thingy will we?

[Engine Serang]

Helmsman steer 280, thats SW before decimalisation. Don't worry about falling off the edge I'll stick to the blue bits on the map and anyways we will hear a waterfally kind of a noise if we get too close.
Pull yourself together Mr M or you'll feature in the Bible, KJV, *Ye of little faith*.

[Varley]

His late majesty's tale seems a little conflated when it comes to ships and the sea. There are careless Ethiopians and governors that, apparently, may not list when the ship does.

As for E-S's cadet bridge time I can only think he has mistaken a non-condensing uptake temperature (on the very uneconomic side) with a compass rose read arseways backwards.

[billyboy]

sorry guys but its all been happening here,
Lost my brother on the 8th and the internet. just got the net back today.
Jim passed away after a long illness bravely fought . He spent many years at sea on many ships and was a fine AB.

[Tmac1720]

Darken ship at 8 bells in memory of Sir Williams brother. Safely across the bar, RIP.

[Engine Serang]

I have passed on my condolences on another thread and will fall in line with Tmac's ceremonial to show our respect. RIP.

[billyboy]

only 5 days to Christmas lay up guys. Santa not coming to me this year as he's been reading my FB pages. Had to happen i suppose.

[Engine Serang]

Day dawns bright and clear. Bosun take a round turn and two half hitches on the Port thingy and we will gain half an knot and if we catch the tide in Pentland we can be in Belfast before closing time in the Crown. A gentile public house well suited to our sort.
QM give the cook a bell and tell him, nicely, I would like fried egg and fadge soonest. We must put a lining on our tummys. Looking out the window is a grand job and I have refined and tuned the Rules of the Road down to two; size matters and never enter a separation scheme as it only slows you down.
Belfast the city of my dreams, Van Morrison is in the Europa and May McFettridge is staring in the Panto. Happy days.

[Varley]

But is it a place to welcome a prod gentile or one that's wholly cathodic?

(Perchance to dream? Well there is a rub indeed, Mistress May's panto liners on no).

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

But is it a place to welcome a prod gentile or one that's wholly cathodic?

(Perchance to dream? Well there is a rub indeed, Mistress May's panto liners on no).

You will be fine shipmate, we hate everyone equally so you will fit right in. If ES is going to the Crown Liquor Saloon check his pockets because at those prices he is using somebodies credit card. In Du Barry's you get a better class of scruff