Humour the best of medicine

[Makko]

Originally Posted by E. von Hoegh

A chemist decided to moonlight as a comedian. He got no reaction.
That's about the worst I can do, without research & study.

Sterling stuff, E. von Hoegh!!

More required, the worse, the better! Roll-on Groan-o-meter!!!

Rgds.
Dave

[Varley]

I am contemplating a rude retort. Meanwhile feel free to have an unmetered groan.

[E. von Hoegh]

I have a bubbling retort on my lab bench...

[BobClay]

I was retort how to ride a bicycle once !!!

[Varley]

Latest Megger I regret is now my second dud. I think someone must have withdrawn the armature while 'mending it' without 'keeping' the permanent magnet. It's a 250 V job and swinging the handle at insane speed only peaks around 90 V. From ornament and use to only ornament. Pity.

[Makko]

I witnessed megger testing of a hydro-generator (62MW from memory) in Costa Rica. Really scary stuff! Simply PASS or FAIL (spectacularly!). We would all have to crouch, at a safe distance, behind blast screens when the current was applied. It passed!

Rgds.
Dave

[Varley]

Dave,

Interesting. Was this hydrogen cooled by any chance? Blast screens seem rather extreme for an insulation test unless the electrician was prone to outbursts of violent temper, a high voltage megger could do one quite an injury if hurled.

I would not like to be around the installation during the overspeed test but your seeming expectation of a result other than 'still in one piece' or 'extremely broken' would suggest it wasn't this either.

[Makko]

David,
It was air-cooled.

During flooding, the water entered the machinery hall, did not affect the small hydro turbines (circa 1918) and ran into the "well" holding the big turbine. The water level was just shy of the rotor centerline. Interestingly, the turbine was horizontal, not (as usually) vertical.

Thus, the bottom stator windings and "south" rotor poles were below water. The manufacturer immediately supplied a drying routine which was strictly followed and proved successful.

Rgds.
Dave

[Varley]

Thanks Dave. Still not sure why the blast screens would have been required. In terms of low voltage machines I would have prescribed water wash followed by heating and ventilating. Had I a utilities machine I would have called upon the makers too (especially if the protocol left the possibility of a 'theatrical' ending).

[Engine Serang]

I'm staying out of this. The last time I commented on power station equipment, boilers, I was given a yellow card by those who knew everything about the innards and safety features of the beasts.

[Varley]

I remember. I cannot but help being still of the opinion that those in power station houses are overly well prepared for theatrical endings that Mrs. V's little boy would have avoided by conventional means. Mind you the involvement of steam in this case would probably have only been a puff or two in act 1.

[Jolly Jack]

Still smarting you two? Lol! Mind you, at least ES doesn't talk in pretentious riddles.

JJ.

[E. von Hoegh]

Originally Posted by BobClay

Reminds of that John Bishop joke:

When he was a kid he came home from school and handed is Dad his school report.
"It says here you suffer from Dyslexia," his Dad said. "What's Dyslexia ?"
"It means I get my letters mixed up and jumbled," he replied.
"RIGHT ! " said his Dad sternly. "Go outside and GET IN THE CAR."
Frightened he went out and got into the car. His Dad came out and they drove off, down through the Mersey Tunnel, down the Wirral and across the border into Wales.

"Get out," said his Dad. He got out, fearful of what was about to happen. His Dad pointed up at an old roadsign with lots of place names on it.

"There you are Son, don't feel so bad, you're not the only one."

Nice. I'm lysdexic.

[Makko]

I once went to investigate an overspeed incident with a newly upgraded Siemens 360MW unit.

When I asked,"What happened?" I was shown a video!!

At the time of the overspeed, there was a bloke brushing by the non-drive end of the generator. When an overspeed occurs, there is contact between rotating and static components causing the turbine and generator to "corkscrew" and displace axially.

Anyway, the security video showed A. Cleaner brushing away, he then stopped, lifted his head and turned to look at the unit, just as the corkscrewing generator destroyed the shaft seals. As there was metal to metal contact and the release of hydrogen, there was an instantaneous explosion. Luckily, A. Cleaner was shielded by the stator and was not injured, although I would not allow charging for the cost of new underwear in the final adjustment!

Subsequent review of the Data Log revealed that the entire unit went from 100% to 0% in around three seconds!

Needless to say, I did dind this claim quite theatrical!

Then there was the lout, trying to steal a copper earth cable from a Power transformer, also caught on video........but that can wait for another day...........!

Rgds.
Dave

[E. von Hoegh]

Originally Posted by Makko

I once went to investigate an overspeed incident with a newly upgraded Siemens 360MW unit.

When I asked,"What happened?" I was shown a video!!

At the time of the overspeed, there was a bloke brushing by the non-drive end of the generator. When an overspeed occurs, there is contact between rotating and static components causing the turbine and generator to "corkscrew" and displace axially.

Anyway, the security video showed A. Cleaner brushing away, he then stopped, lifted his head and turned to look at the unit, just as the corkscrewing generator destroyed the shaft seals. As there was metal to metal contact and the release of hydrogen, there was an instantaneous explosion. Luckily, A. Cleaner was shielded by the stator and was not injured, although I would not allow charging for the cost of new underwear in the final adjustment!

Subsequent review of the Data Log revealed that the entire unit went from 100% to 0% in around three seconds!

Needless to say, I did dind this claim quite theatrical!

Then there was the lout, trying to steal a copper earth cable from a Power transformer, also caught on video........but that can wait for another day...........!

Rgds.
Dave

Oh. that dreadful high speed stuff.


20 or so years ago I babysat a small hydroelectric plant. 530 kw on the best day.
the "Big machine" was a 400hp Francis turbine, dual runners so no thrust. 400hp at 514 rpm. All was exposed - shaft, governor, 4800v wiring, exciter, it was some of the most fun I've had with machinery.


The switchboard was a trip through time. Carbon filament synchrometer, granite panels.

[Varley]

Granite, never heard of that as an insulator nor of Carbon filament synchrometer (synchroscope?) - not French by any chance?

(Don't worry about JJ's teasing. I'll think of a riddle for tomorrow if E-S doesn't beat me to it)

[E. von Hoegh]

Originally Posted by Varley

Granite, never heard of that as an insulator nor of Carbon filament synchrometer (synchroscope?) - not French by any chance?

(Don't worry about JJ's teasing. I'll think of a riddle for tomorrow if E-S doesn't beat me to it)

Synchrometer had a dial and two lamps. When the pointer on the dial was vertical and both lamps out, it was time to close the breaker. If the dial wasn't visible, (3 machines in the plant) the lamps were. The owner had fitted two very old carbon filament lamps.


And Yes, the panel was/is granite slabs. It's located in Wadhams, New York state.
I'll see if I can find some pics.


Here - Matthew William Foley, granite panels. https://www.adirondackexplorer.org/s...es-tom-woodman The synchroscope is directly above his head, lamps not visible.

[Varley]

I was deputed to ride Stenice to the refuge of Portland Bill (from Immingham) as a two out of three generator casualty.

Cranage was obviously a desirable attribute and the berth assigned was equipped with at least two magnificent examples. When enquiring discretely as to the cost of hire I was told they were no longer operational as the copper in their supply cabling and transformers had been thieved.

(The failure mode, that I missed, was that the alternators and engines had been flexing around the the coupling and NDE bearing of the alternators had 'rasped' the bearing housing down to let the rotor and stator touch. I had only reported that the housings were worn and the bearings were in perfect condition. I did however belay other work on arrival to take airgaps on the remaining machine. Not a cigarette paper could have filled the lower gap. A colleague (avoiding the potential of drift embarrassment) meeting us in Portland diagnosed the reason. I am not aware of the solution.

[Makko]

David,
It is probably MICA, used as a semitranslucent window pane by the Aztecas. It is also a dielectric and, being sedimentary in creation, is easily split into panels.
Rgds.
Dave

[E. von Hoegh]

Originally Posted by Makko

David,
It is probably MICA, used as a semitranslucent window pane by the Aztecas. It is also a dielectric and, being sedimentary in creation, is easily split into panels.
Rgds.
Dave

Muscovite mica,used in capacitors. Muscovite is clear, or nearly so. Biotite is black, or nearly so.



muscovite is fairly immune to heat & was used as windows in stove & furnace doors.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Good one Steve.

Where is my old shipmate?

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Jolly Jack

Still smarting you two? Lol! Mind you, at least ES doesn't talk in pretentious riddles.

JJ.

Are we now tolerating Vulgar Abuse on these gentle pages?

I think the Moderator or Super Moderator should step in and nip it in the bud. Otherwise rather than the BI Smokeroom we have we will end up with a dart board in the Bar.

[BobClay]

My thoughts ...... (I'm the one on the right.)

[Varley]

The reason I asked if French is that two of their electric clock makers chose to build on a 'chassis' of marble.

Thanks for the great picture and story to go with it, I wish him every possible luck. I have not seen a two lamps dark using other than filament lamps but we had several NEBB switchboards with two lamps on the generator cubicles as a cover for a failed synchroscope (of which there was only one).

(With respect to Bob's cheesy cartoon. I have always thought that sort of behaviour is the preserve of pinko lefties).

[Varley]

Our smokeroom is 'Bi'? I had not noticed. Wouldn't an ironing board be more appropriate.

Never mind JJ's abuse, never take anything from a trip-gagger to heart.