Humour the best of medicine

[al1934]

Thanks, Bob. That explains everything...

[BobClay]

I miss that show. That was the bar you would like to drink in, every kind of nutter imaginable.

[Engine Serang]

There's a bar like that in every town in Ireland, England and Scotland. But not in Wales or Sussex.

[rogd]

Would that be North or South Wales?

[Makko]

Old joke remembered:

So, in the east is ESSEX, south SUSSEX, west WESSEX, why nowhere in the north? WHO would want to live in "NOSEX"!

I'll get my coat............

Rgds.
Dave

[Engine Serang]

Mostly North Wales.
Very strange people, especially in Anglesey.
It could happen that you wander down a side street in, say Newport and find a local pub and nip in for a glass of Brains and who's at the counter but Shirly Bassey. Either side of her is Max Boyce and Rob Brydon and having an argument is Barry John and Nigel Owens.
I think you have the makings of a half decent afternoon.

[rogd]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Mostly North Wales.
Very strange people, especially in Anglesey.
It could happen that you wander down a side street in, say Newport and find a local pub and nip in for a glass of Brains and who's at the counter but Shirly Bassey. Either side of her is Max Boyce and Rob Brydon and having an argument is Barry John and Nigel Owens.
I think you have the makings of a half decent afternoon.

With a North Walian(mum) and a South Walian(dad) in the same household, it made for an interesting childhood!!

[R58484957]

Glad I do not live in the north one.

[Makko]

My brother moved to North Wales a few years back, recovering our family "roots". He loves it.
Rgds.
Dave

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Makko

My brother moved to North Wales a few years back, recovering our family "roots". He loves it.
Rgds.
Dave

And I admire him for his move. I am legendary for saying that no one would holiday in Cancun if Rhyl and Prestatyn had the weather.

[BobClay]

Used to go to Rhyl and Prestatyn from my home town as it was only about 80 miles away and those old 50's era Brit bikes I rode back then where just about capable of that. (Still faster than bloody MODs.)
But the big attraction of North Wales are the mountains. Again only 2 or 3 hours drive from the West Midlands. Can't knock that from a grimy industrial town ... (there's no industry there anymore ) but the mountains are still there, and likely to be so for some time yet.

[Varley]

No industry? Gone, like the Wireless College Colwyn Bay (how did you miss out this gem in your eulogy?)

[BobClay]

Coz I'm a Leith Nautical College man, a proper nautical college with a shipyard at the back of it. (Although that's gone now ... )

[Makko]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

And I admire him for his move. I am legendary for saying that no one would holiday in Cancun if Rhyl and Prestatyn had the weather.

Ha Ha! True! But if the weather is good.......

However, Cancun and the whole Riviera Maya are controlled by "organized crime"........Take care when there! A member on the "other site" was working on a vessel based there and decided to quit and get "the Hell out of Dodge"! By the way, I am from Leasowe which was known as "Dodge City" in the late 60s/early 70s! (LEBB chant: "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!".

I have a very mysterious vessel claim, originating near Cancun, which may probably hinge on some "OC" involvement!

Rgds.
Dave

[BobClay]

This joke is so bad ... that I don't see why I should be the only one to suffer it ....

[John Rogers]

Great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show

responses were spontaneous, NOT scripted.


Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and hard it

took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)


Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knott: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and

you think that he is attractive, is it okay to ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older..

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. What are: 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough’?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the apartment next door.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture

you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into

the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his

head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them

and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.



WE DO NOT STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,

WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING.

Enjoy and pass on to your friends.

[lakercapt]

Originally Posted by BobClay

Coz I'm a Leith Nautical College man, a proper nautical college with a shipyard at the back of it. (Although that's gone now ... )

I visited down Leith when over in 2016 and would have never thought of the changes that had happened when I was in school there in the 1960s. The place was very hippy and the old bonded warehouses, chic apartments. No Crawfords on the shore and the sailors home gone. Changes for the better all around and the Pool and Custom house a memory.

[BobClay]

And it came to pass ... that he was cured from tombstoning for evermore ......

[Jolly Jack]

I thought I'd resurrect An old one:-

I had 4 helpings of alphabet soup at lunch....

My next fart could spell disaster........

[Y0ungN1ck]

[lakercapt]

Saw this and had a chuckle.Captains Job.jpg

[Engine Serang]

I think I sailed with his father.

[Malcolm G]

Aw, bless his little cotton socks.

[BobClay]

That final line is a killer .....

[Varley]

Sounds as if he would have got on well as sparkie too (barring the seasick, of course).