virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

I think the boys in blue would deem driving while doing that unsafe. Worthy of note in acrobatic circles, no doubt, but certainly unsafe nonetheless.

[Engine Serang]

Don't need to drive, competency in mushing will suffice.

[billyboy]

Charming! ... nipped down the Engine room to check on things and got smacked in the mouth with a shifter thrown by Squeak. Must get Tmac to have a word with that Rat.

[billyboy]

Beware of Squeak when he is in a Temper.

[Engine Serang]

Where is our old china, Tmax? His weeks leave has stretched to months and the two rats are missing him. They are off their food and doing No 2's in the shaft alley, what next? I have a sneeking feeling he was moonlighting in H&W on the ill-fated liner Odyssey.

I, and many others, eagerly await the whole story breaking, as it surely will.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Hope that he hasn't been 'frozen' as one of the assets at H and W.
His MBE must be worth something. Wish that I had one but closest that I ever came was driving my big boss to Government House to get an OBE about 100 years ago..

[Malcolm G]

OBE = Other Bugger’s Efforts.

[Varley]

Dear me Sir W. Lucky he got you without your teeth 'in'.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Absolutely Malcolm.
Just proves the dangers of acronyms!
Two others come to mind:

1. Breakfast radio program had a segment 'WTF' which they thought represented 'why the face'. Only problem was everyone else thought it stood for 'what the f***'. The are now very careful to emphasise their version of WTF.
2. There was also a Union called the 'ATOF' which was the 'Australian Transport Officers Federation'. It was universally deemed to represent 'All The Other F*****s'.

[Engine Serang]

Was the General Secretary called Jack?

[Engine Serang]

Isn't that typical of our antipodean cousins, the only thing that's keeping youse within the Realm is the hope that Him Belong Mrs Parker-Bowles will give one a gong of some sort.

[tweediekiwi]

We need the GD and your crews expertese down here. The NZ Navy's Manawanui research ship has hit a reef in Samoa and sunk!

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/...nken-manawanui

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/...cid=newsletter

We need to pump it full of ping pong balls and get it refloated from 150 metres down! Anyone up for a bit of South Seas Salvage? I hear that HMS Tamar is on patrol there keeping people away from the wreck site, so, if you have RN contacts and mates in the Dutch salvage business, all the better. Free salt water and all the LFO you can drink! Apply Within.

[Malcolm G]

Does the Lady driver know that you can just look at a reef, you don’t have to go up close and give it a poke to see what it is?

[Engine Serang]

For the Officer Commanding, the OOW and the MEO it's squeeky bum time.

The environmental gobshites will start shouting about damage to the reef. If they haven't started already.

[rustytrawler]

I hear Varley has been taking swimming lessons, why don't we send him down there to have a look he has bought a pair of woollen trunks that will help him sink.

[Varley]

A lady driver? I didn't realise it was a parallel parking issue. I'll have to check our ECDIS to see if it's software has the 'reef parking' upgrade implemented.

And, budget woolly-snugglers or not, Mrs.V's hyper little boy doesn't do anything barbaric.

(Not that I can talk. I reversed into a wall on my first test. On my second and last I failed because I used the mirror too much. It was acknowledged that this was an unusual trip-up but that one "must look out of the front occasionally"!)

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Don't worry David!
Here in Victoria one is not required to look where one is going - all that you have to do is just watch the speedo.

[billyboy]

careful what you wish for guys. This ship is equipped with all the necessary for salvage and towing, also with submerging ability (providing all port holes and watertight doors are closed) and as our long term readers will know we have performed such tasks in the past.
The absence of John Brigs, Dom and jim Barnes means things would not be so easy but, still doable.

[billyboy]

Hmmm, new coffee mugs arrived I see.....

[billyboy]

anyone know where we are? I looked at the map thingy but cant decide which of the many pencil line we are on (cant get the staff these days). nobody up in the driving cabin. just Iron Mike Ecdis and 2 Radars whirring away. seems we are at half speed. we seem to be circling in a square pattern and going nowhere.

[Malcolm G]

Sounds like a search pattern to me.
Perhaps we are looking for something… ?

[tweediekiwi]

We're supposed to be in Samoa recovering the HMNZS Manawanui ... but, actually, nobody agreed to come and help. We'll leave it to the Navy I think. If you guys all turned up with your years of experience you might show them up a bit. Left hand down a bit Mr. Phillips. Anyone remember The Navy Lark? I have them all here as MP3's if you want them. I'll have to borrow the plank that you make people walk on as I have a board meeting to attend.

[rustytrawler]

Has anyone got any lead boots that they can lend to varley, he is looking for cod on the seabed but he keeps floating to the surface

[Engine Serang]

Suffice for youse scurvy matelots to know I (me) is in charge of this fine lady. Just carry on and do your job or I'll be dug outa ya. Everyone sloped shoulders when BB needed a short break, I stood up and was counted in fairness so did His Lordship but he was counted twice , eat more salad.
I want to be Chief and I will be, BB is returning next week when we tie up in Mindanao and many thirsts will be quenched. Tmax may return.

[tweediekiwi]

I'm glad someone is in charge. Don't take any resistance from Varley. Tell 'im to go ohm.
I don't even know where Mindanao is so better get into the chartroom and look it up. It sounds like venereal disease and I hope it isn't. Three cheers for the return of the sick crew members and bottoms up, if that's safe to say on board.