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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #76  
Old 23rd April 2017, 08:51
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Originally Posted by Malcolm G View Post
I have found the crew bar but where's the stock?
Doesn't anyone do stock control? Yes I know, you just drink it and let someone else worry about the trivialities.
Well, as luck would have it there is one of those floating blocks of flats not far away. With the Captain's permission I will take a boat and see what I can scrounge - They must have loads on there and I am quite sure that they would be happy to help another vessel in distress.

If I get caught I might be gone for a couple of weeks.
Farmer John is not only First Mate but also the Purser/Chief Steward and admirally performs the duties of keeping sufficient potent potables for all general consumption. Name your poison and he will have a supply. Varley produces a concoction called "Gripetini" (Can be used as paint-stripper!).So no real need for you to visit the floating block of flats unless you want to take in a floor show, or something.
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  #77  
Old 23rd April 2017, 08:54
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Why didn't someone tell me were a pirate ship. One of my relatives a long time back was a pirate. Came from Devon. No wonder I feel at home. Thanks Tom
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  #78  
Old 23rd April 2017, 08:57
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Hey, we have just gone to page four. The sun has gone down here so I think I might just toast that with a drop of good red. Here's mud in your eye, or whatever it is you say in Blighty. Oh dear think I messed up my previous message. Sorry chaps and Pat
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Last edited by Red-17; 23rd April 2017 at 08:59.
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  #79  
Old 23rd April 2017, 08:57
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Hello Pats. w2e are all very happy to have you back aboard. Yes you are still our Lady Bosun. Meet another Lady, Red-17. she is deck supervisor pending promotion. sure she will be happy you are here too. i think she was getting a little worried with all us red blooded men around ha ha.
Red blooded??? Have you not taken advvantage of Varley's vintage Port and have too much blood in your alcohol stream? Or does the red colour come from an excess of Port?
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  #80  
Old 23rd April 2017, 09:04
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How's the Rouble at the moment? There are some quite 'friendly' folk up in Petropavlosk if we ever go that way.
And Bunkers is cheap up there too - I don't know how they do it.
Sounds like something to consider -- could take a turn up there but definitely worth waiting for the summer first. We could have a bit of fun messing with Kim Jong Un on the way. With our cloaking device and silent running he would go ape!!
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  #81  
Old 23rd April 2017, 09:32
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Question: Isn't Dartskipper a butterfly?
I've been called worse....
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  #82  
Old 23rd April 2017, 09:35
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If I'm the 2nd Mate, that means I have to take care of the naviguessing I suppose. As I left my sextant in an overhead locker when they chucked me off a United Airlines flight on my way out here, I'll take a run ashore to see if I can find one in a second hand shop in the old market up town.

My watch is broken too, so I'll try to find a minute hand shop as well.
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  #83  
Old 23rd April 2017, 10:01
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The crew bar operates on a demand led basis. I can supply stocks of (almost) anything you wish to drink, as Chief Stewart my stores wander off in all direction (often carried under the arms of furtive seamen), we established some time ago there is some connection between the back regions of the Liquor Locker and the greater part of the brewers and vintners of the world.
Pats, how wonderful to see you back, a methuselah of the very best champagne awaits your attention/distribution.

As to authority, not me, I take orders from Tom and suggestions from Sir William. It just happened that I was standing in at the time.

May I suggest we have a celebration when our current mission is complete? We do need to get it done right, but then, new crew, the return of old friends, what's not to celebrate? Good times coming on the G D, new adventures, revised mayhem for all. Let's make shipping history.
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  #84  
Old 23rd April 2017, 10:10
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If it's any of your business we rabble are just bloody fine thank you!

I am not sure we can take a night to celebrate. We celebrate every night, special occasions are when we go dry for a night (and then lynch the bugger who let us run out).
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  #85  
Old 23rd April 2017, 10:20
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Ok Dartskipper see if you can get some straight fishing hooks too!
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  #86  
Old 23rd April 2017, 10:24
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Tannoy: attention all crew. PAX lounge bar now open on my tab till midnight. Coz I have to relieve squeak down below on the 12 till 4.
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  #87  
Old 23rd April 2017, 10:48
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Someone else's tab could be another reason for running out. Let's see. Cheerio, down the hatch etc.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #88  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:29
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Cheers Varley...all the best to you good sir.
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  #89  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:48
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Originally Posted by Red-17 View Post
Tmac, if we are now going to have two funnels on the GD does that mean you will have two funnel suites??
Yus... one for day use and the other a boudoir for entertaining nubile young and not so young ladies in the evenings.
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  #90  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:56
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Thats Tmac, Gentleman when theres ladies around. Fine draughtsman/designer/engineer when he's busy below the plates and a demon lover between the sheets.
Steward!. Bottle of Black Bush for Tmac lease.
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  #91  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:56
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Originally Posted by Dartskipper View Post
Aye Aye Cap'n. I'll just go and find some old braid to sew on my sleeves. I think there's some old stuff in my ditty bag from one of my Grannie's old chintz curtains.

We didn't use thrusters in my last boat. I used to get the deckhand to push on the handrail near the bow if I wanted to go sideways.....
Mind you, that boat handled like a nightmare. If you went from full ahead to full astern, the control lever would come away in your hand,and the rudder would go hard over making the wheel spin really fast and whack you in the shins.
I hope our Chief has everything tight as a drum down below.
Hi Dartskipper, I assume you are the new deckie type person on board so first a few queries/pointers for you

1. Whyfore did your Grannie need to keep her ditties in a bag?
2. Why did she feel the need to give them to you in the first place?
3. All mekan....meckha... meachak.... metal thingies are in first class working order because as Chief Injuneer I make sure all the deckie crowd DON'T TOUCH THEM !!!!...... EVER !!!!!!!!!
4. Controls are operated by push button control.... Green for forwards, blue for sideways and black for backwards... there is also a BIG RED button.... only for use in emergencies... be afraid, be VERY afraid
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  #92  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:58
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Yus... one for day use and the other a boudoir for entertaining nubile young and not so young ladies in the evenings.
Tmac1720,
Now that you have two funnels, just wondering if there is a vacancy for an enthusiastic fireman to stoke one of the boilers associated with the second funnel?
I would bring my very own shovel..........

Last edited by YM-Mundrabilla; 23rd April 2017 at 12:00.
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  #93  
Old 23rd April 2017, 11:58
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Thats Tmac, Gentleman when theres ladies around. Fine draughtsman/designer/engineer when he's busy below the plates and a demon lover between the sheets.
Steward!. Bottle of Black Bush for Tmac lease.
Lease ??? you mean it's only on loan miserable bugger

anyhoo you're only nice to me when you want something or you've broken something

Demon lover eh?... in other words a horney little devil.... actually there is nothing more satisfying then the smell of burning rubber
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  #94  
Old 23rd April 2017, 12:03
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Tmac1720,
Now that you have two funnels, just wondering if there is a vacancy for an enthusiastic fireman to stoke one of the boilers associated with the second funnel?
I would bring my very own shovel..........
as long as you don't require wages you are the very lad for me you won't need a shovel as we are nantomic powered just a lead cod piece should suffice.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

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  #95  
Old 23rd April 2017, 12:22
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As its all new I'd better have a check round....Everything seems to be working fine up here in the driving cab. check monitors....100 RPM both engines, speed 25 knots, Perfect. CCTV...all cameras working, check screens....OOPS!...splendid woman that, nice tattoo as well. Excellent all things working perfectly. Must get back to the PAX lounge before I dehydrate.

Owners inspection over guys. all is perfect. Well done to all concerned. Had a listen at the Engine room skylight...ticking over nicely Tmac. Another Black bush for Tmac please steward.
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  #96  
Old 23rd April 2017, 12:48
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Originally Posted by Varley View Post
If it's any of your business we rabble are just bloody fine thank you!

I am not sure we can take a night to celebrate. We celebrate every night, special occasions are when we go dry for a night (and then lynch the bugger who let us run out).
Oh, Varley, are we feeling left out of things? I've never thought of you as rabble, does that mean I have to change my opinion.
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  #97  
Old 23rd April 2017, 13:02
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Originally Posted by Varley View Post
If it's any of your business we rabble are just bloody fine thank you!

I am not sure we can take a night to celebrate. We celebrate every night, special occasions are when we go dry for a night (and then lynch the bugger who let us run out).
Oh Varley, are we feeling left out of things. I have never thought of you as rabble. Other things maybe, but never rabble!
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  #98  
Old 23rd April 2017, 13:12
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
1. Whyfore did your Grannie need to keep her ditties in a bag?
2. Why did she feel the need to give them to you in the first place?
3. All mekan....meckha... meachak.... metal thingies are in first class working order because as Chief Injuneer I make sure all the deckie crowd DON'T TOUCH THEM !!!!...... EVER !!!!!!!!!
4. Controls are operated by push button control.... Green for forwards, blue for sideways and black for backwards... there is also a BIG RED button.... only for use in emergencies... be afraid, be VERY afraid
RED, you have the colour red in your script, why can't I get it in mine You know there is a spell check on this commu...communi... computer thingy Tmac. Don't you dare let your other funnel to anyone else, you always need a second string to your bow.
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  #99  
Old 23rd April 2017, 13:14
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Oh Varley, are we feeling left out of things. I have never thought of you as rabble. Other things maybe, but never rabble!
So good I said it twice. Far too much red tonight, never drive or use a computer when you are over the limit. Nighty night. (imagine sleepy smilie)
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  #100  
Old 23rd April 2017, 13:57
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Red-17 we love you. sleep well. your personal plastic steward will wake you at 07:00. that will give you time to get ready for your 08:00 deck supervising.....LOL
Coffee with pussers rum in it will be available at breakfast time.
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Last edited by billyboy; 23rd April 2017 at 13:59. Reason: missed text
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