Humour the best of medicine

Makko · #**1001** 25th February 2022, 05:14

Whats App - Click on the image, pop up, save file to gallery. Done.
And I am a recognized, iPhone, Luddite!
Rgds.
Dave

Ron Stringer · #**1002** 28th February 2022, 13:29

“Dad, can you tell me what happens during a total eclipse?”

“No son”
[

BobClay · #**1003** 28th February 2022, 15:56

I wonder if it's possible to get hold of a Neutronium reinforced Groan-O-Meter ?

Engine Serang · #**1004** 28th February 2022, 16:53

Not a lot of demand for a Giggle-O-Meter last week.

Malcolm G · #**1005** 28th February 2022, 17:52

A time traveller learns classical Latin and goes to visit the ancient Roman Empire.

He is seen by a Legionnaire:
"Halt stranger, who are you?"
Time traveller: " I am from your future, what is you name?"
Legionnaire: "I am Quintus, fifth son of my father, and what is your name?"
Time traveller: "Liv"
Legionnaire, counting fingers "Er, really...."

BobClay · #**1006** 28th February 2022, 18:02

There should be more Roman numeral jokes ....

jmilcon · #**1007** 1st March 2022, 22:38

For Bob Clay and Malcolm G; I think this one has featured before,

I used to be good at Roman numerals but I always have trouble with 51, 6 and 500, it makes me LIVID.

And to quote Fred Dagg, "Here's me bus, I'll get out of your way now".

BobClay · #**1008** 2nd March 2022, 10:59

A lot of buses and coats are going to be needed I suspect ....

Ron Stringer · #**1009** 2nd March 2022, 11:49

To continue the historical (or maybe I should say pre-historical) theme ...

BobClay · #**1010** 2nd March 2022, 14:17

Of course Ron can probably remember those days .. you know .. Bronto Burgers, Velociraptor Pie ... Stegosaurus on Toast. A program called 'A Cave of Your Own' being sent on the knocking slabs.

Ron Stringer · #**1011** 2nd March 2022, 16:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobClay

Of course Ron can probably remember those days .. you know .. Bronto Burgers, Velociraptor Pie ... Stegosaurus on Toast. A program called 'A Cave of Your Own' being sent on the knocking slabs.

You can bet JUR ASS I Can

Engine Serang · #**1012** 2nd March 2022, 16:32

Caves under the Hammer doesn't quite do it.

Ron Stringer · #**1013** 6th March 2022, 10:56

My farming mate owns a meadow that never gets any sun.
He said, “I like to sit there on chilly, frosty mornings and listen to the peaceful sounds of ‘Tubular Bells’………I love my cold field.

Makko · #**1014** 6th March 2022, 22:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron Stringer

My farming mate owns a meadow that never gets any sun.
He said, “I like to sit there on chilly, frosty mornings and listen to the peaceful sounds of ‘Tubular Bells’………I love my cold field.

Get thee to the corner for a couple of days, Mr. Stringer!!!!!!!

Awful!!!!

Rgds.
Dave

Engine Serang · #**1015** 7th March 2022, 07:16

And the joke is even worse.

And to add insult to injury it set Beardy up for life.

Jolly Jack · #**1016** 7th March 2022, 09:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron Stringer

My farming mate owns a meadow that never gets any sun.
He said, “I like to sit there on chilly, frosty mornings and listen to the peaceful sounds of ‘Tubular Bells’………I love my cold field.

I liked that Ron, so posted this so I could see it again!

JJ.

Makko · #**1017** 7th March 2022, 22:51

JJ, you should see a head doctor!!!! The joke is awful! Mr. Stringer should be suspended from the site, for a while, until he sees reason!

(Sorry JJ and Ron, all said in jest!)

Rgds.
Dave

Jolly Jack · #**1018** 8th March 2022, 10:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Makko

JJ, you should see a head doctor!!!! The joke is awful! Mr. Stringer should be suspended from the site, for a while, until he sees reason!

(Sorry JJ and Ron, all said in jest!)

Rgds.
Dave

No worries Dave, I've already been seen by most genres of quacks, but nothing they could do! I afraid I like any and all jokes and this site needs all the help it can get. Even non-funny comments on jokes are welcome in any form...........

JJ.

Makko · #**1019** 8th March 2022, 20:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jolly Jack

No worries Dave, I've already been seen by most genres of quacks, but nothing they could do! I afraid I like any and all jokes and this site needs all the help it can get. Even non-funny comments on jokes are welcome in any form...........

JJ.

Remember what happened to the Groan-o-meter though!

One for you (a silly Mexican joke, YOU ASKED FOR IT!):

Where do people go when they are sick?
"Hospital!"

Where pets go when they are sick?
"Dogspital"

Rgds.
Dave

BobClay · #**1020** 8th March 2022, 21:30

I'm thinking seriously of swapping out my groan-o-meter for a Smith and Wesson Model 500 magnum.

Makko · #**1021** 8th March 2022, 22:39

Bring it on Bob!!! Haha! JJ asked for it.....and GOT IT! Do you feel lucky, punk. Well, do you! I have to find a worse joke!!!!!!
Rgds.
Dave

Jolly Jack · #**1022** 9th March 2022, 09:28

Dave, that didn't make any sense at all and was Yuck!

At least Ron's had a thought-out clever piece of phrasing.

I'll leave it up to you and Bob to sort out who is going to be SHs Senior Joke Monitor, but personally, I'd rather there wasn't one at all......no offence....

JJ.

Ron Stringer · #**1023** 9th March 2022, 09:46

Yesterday a my neighbour's cute little hairy dog snatched a ribbon from its mistress's dressing table and swallowed it before it could be stopped.

Today it came out tied in a perfect bow.

I Shi Tzu Knot.

BobClay · #**1024** 9th March 2022, 11:09

Moscow man buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, then throws it away. Next day, same again, and again, and again.
Eventually the newspaper seller snaps: "Why do you do that ?"
"Oh I'm just checking for an obituary," replies the man.
"But obituaries aren't even on the front page," says the seller.
"Oh, the one I'm looking for will be."

BobClay · #**1025** 9th March 2022, 11:16

I had an Ink Monitors job at junior school when I was kid. It was a good racket until the compass monitor mob moved in and made me take a different direction. I thought about going into the ruler monitor racket, but there were just too many rules.