virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

welcome back Tom. Glad to have you with us again.
Stewards! seeto it that Tom has all he needs and dont let him be disturbed while he is resting.

[Tom Alexander]

Thank you gentlemen for your concerns for my welfare. I must admit that achieving the somnolent position for my duties is a great relief for my back. The recumbent nature of my winch inspection duties has also produced some side benefits/awareness. It appears we may have some stowaways aboard in the form of young ladies with short skirts who are devoid of underwear. We have one red head, two blondes, a brunette, and one bald???? Or is that just wishful thinking?

[Farmer John]

For heavens sake, Tom, hush, there isn't a single person left standing, those not misbehaving are hiding. Not the conduct of a gentleman.

[Tmac1720]

Hovercraft mats are now available from the Injun Room ready use spares locker.... usual charges apply...

[billyboy]

Oh no!!! he's found my red headed pass time piece,
Hover mats eh?...sounds interesting that Tmac!...endless possibility's with one of those.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Oh no!!! he's found my red headed pass time piece,
Hover mats eh?...sounds interesting that Tmac!...endless possibility's with one of those.

I did hear tell that a bus driver in Vanvouver pulled up downtown on Granville Street, outside the Hudson Bay Co. store and when he opened the door, standing there, ready to board, was a Sikh gentleman holding a carpet which he had just purchased. The bus driver said "What's the matter, mate --- Won't it start?"

I also heard that the said bus driver, upon a complaint being lodged, was given a two day suspension without pay.

I further heard that his fellow drivers all chipped in a bit to cover his lost wages.

[billyboy]

An irate passenger on the last bus home asked how much longer the bus would stay at a particular stop. Driver said depends on my chippie....weather she jumped off for a Pee or peed of for a jump.

[Varley]

A bus with a chippie. I've never sailed with a lady wood butcher.

[Tom Alexander]

During my winch inspection, I noted that perched in the channel iron bed of #4 after port cargo winch were 2 cartons of Lucky Strike. Obviously someone put them there to evade customs inspection somewhere, and then forgot about them. Jog any memories??

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Varley

A bus with a chippie. I've never sailed with a lady wood butcher.

There was a single decker bus that had been converted into a mobile chippy.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

During my winch inspection, I noted that perched in the channel iron bed of #4 after port cargo winch were 2 cartons of Lucky Strike. Obviously someone put them there to evade customs inspection somewhere, and then forgot about them. Jog any memories??

It does indeed jog memories, I remember smoking a cigarette about 40 years ago. Hoy them over the side, Tom, they are not good for anyone. What about some bracing exercise in the fresh sea air?

Cough, cough, cough, that is plenty, made it up to the Monkey Island. What about exercising our elbows with some 4 Bells, Tom, Dartskipper and all others wanting to join us.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

It does indeed jog memories, I remember smoking a cigarette about 40 years ago. Hoy them over the side, Tom, they are not good for anyone. What about some bracing exercise in the fresh sea air?

Cough, cough, cough, that is plenty, made it up to the Monkey Island. What about exercising our elbows with some 4 Bells, Tom, Dartskipper and all others wanting to join us.

Funny -- co-incidental -- I quit 40 years ago and bought a boat with the savings.

Very happy to join everyone for some 4 Bells. I am sure there will be other incaholics in our crew that will be there PDQ.

[billyboy]

You will have observed that I approached at a leisurely pace and came armed with a couple of bottles of Four Bells to boot......Let the party begin Gentlemen.

[Varley]

I concur. I bring Gripewater not gripe.

[Dartskipper]

I'm on my way up chaps. Just bringing a few bottles of Canada Dry I found at the back of a locker in my cabin.

I did try drinking Canada Dry once when I was in Victoria, (I was only following the instructions on the advert outside the bar,) but I fell off my bar stool after emptying the first bottle of Scotch.. I blamed the resultant head ache on the foot rail around the bar. (Hic...!) Anyway, if the barman had been a little more proficient at installing a new bottle in the optic, I might not have fallen asleep in the first place.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

I'm on my way up chaps. Just bringing a few bottles of Canada Dry I found at the back of a locker in my cabin.

I did try drinking Canada Dry once when I was in Victoria, (I was only following the instructions on the advert outside the bar,)

Nobody has managed to drink Canada dry yet -- ( I also have been trying since I arrived here permanently in 1960) I must say though, with all due respect, the quality of the potent potables produced here has improved immensely over the past decade. (Is that where we get our word "decadence" from?)

With all due deference to Dart Skipper, though, I will continue to take my 4 Bells on the rocks. (Absolutely convinced that it is the mix which gives the headache.)

[Farmer John]

I do know what you mean Tom, I had to tell the magistrate once that it wasn't the 25 pints, it was a dodgy meat pie was my downfall.

Could you rephrase your description a little? The propinquity of the word "drinking" and the phrase "on the rocks" bring back memories of what I call "my bit of bother", though of course I had a different name then, before the surgery, and indeed a diferent sex (and more of it).

Lorelei is just a memory now, though I kept the money.

These recollections come flooding back, when the moon is high and the nights are warm. Even the word "flooding" seems wrong.

Anyone else have thoughts they wish to share over a drink or eight?

[Red-17]

Hello Chaps, remember me? I fell overboard several months back and doggy paddled around for ages waiting for it to be noticed that I was missing and therefore rescued! Normally at this point one would say that tragically I wasn't, however, (said with much emphasis) I was, eventually, hauled from the water much the worse for wear. The kind gentleman that spotted me kept me safe and dry on his wonderful yacht and we sailed around the Aegean having a wonderful time. Unfortunately he has had to go home, some sort of family problem, or was it problem family?

As a consequence I have returned and am ready to take up any allotted tasks that you may have for me. I do note however on doing a count of all the animals on board, the four legged ones that is, that one of the Panama mules is missing? Can someone please explain?

Oh, Farmer John, 'a drink or eight', no, hmmm??, perhaps I will leave that for another time.

[billyboy]

welcome back Red17. glad to have you aboard with us.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Was that you that I hauled out of the water onto my yacht in the Aegean? Sorry that I did not recognise you in your bedraggled state but glad to have rescued you and that you have been able to return to the Golden Dreamer. It wasn't a family problem or a problem family with the yacht just that the police were getting a bit close.
I, too, have been AWOL from the Golden Dreamer for some time. I have been junketing in Europe to get away from the Winter here in Oz.
Welcome back.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Hello Chaps, remember me?

Oh! Red - How could we possibly forget you?? We knew you were taking some time off -- (Across the Tas, was it?) -- and had every faith in you returning at your pleasure, or leisure.

It will be nice to have the company of a lady to help keep the rest of us hairy chested, unshaven, (some of us, anyway!) unkempt sailors behave in a more refined manner. We have been short of the presence of female crew for quite some time -- would also love to hear from Pats, the CED, sister Eleff and Mary, and not necessarily in that order --- even all at once would be great!!

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

I, too, have been AWOL from the Golden Dreamer for some time. I have been junketing in Europe to get away from the Winter here in Oz.
Welcome back.

Winter in Oz?? Try here in Canada -- Northern Manitoba in February -- sometimes -57 F -- enough to freeze the acid in the car battery - even with the block heater plugged in. Then there's the square wheels where the car has sat overnight and the flat spots on the tires take awhile to get pliable again. Then again, before the heater/defroster has warmed up and you have a couple of people in the car, you need to scrape the frost off the inside of the windshield as well as the outside.

Welcome back, however -- I'm sure we can find something for you to do other than nothing! What do you fancy. (Red's livestock is off limits by the way.)

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Red-17

I do note however on doing a count of all the animals on board, the four legged ones that is, that one of the Panama mules is missing? Can someone please explain?

Funny thing that, an opportunity opened up for it to help safety and stability in a part of Africa not many of us get to see. Settled in well, made quite a splash locally. Don't worry about that though, it is very good to see you back, I wondered if our uncultured ways had sent you to seek company elsewhere.

[Varley]

I am very sorry to report that Pedro (the mule with the white blaze and pretty hindquarters) broke a leg after sipping from Sir William's tankard and falling through an open hatch.

So I had to shoot him.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Varley

I am very sorry to report that Pedro (the mule with the white blaze and pretty hindquarters) broke a leg after sipping from Sir William's tankard and falling through an open hatch.

So I had to shoot him.

I also beg to report he was delicious served with a nice green salad, some fave beans and a nice Chianti sadly I managed to break a tooth on the bullet Varley, rather inconsiderately left in the carcass

Squeek however also enjoyed or should that be feasted on the entrails although the hooves did prove rather unpalatable.

Oh yes, another thing... welcome back Red, the tank top could do with a good sweeping and the brass valve gauges could do with a bit of burnishing, there's a good girl (retires to bomb proof locker and awaits explosion)