virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

I asked for chips last night. By the time the oil in the fryer was hot enough to put then the ruddy plastic steward had melted.

Have e mailed Mary Hinge. I dont expect a reply till later tonight. That lot in the UK will all be sleeping now.

[billyboy]

Except of course fort Tmac. he's always too busy to sleep....ha ha

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

does that mean I have to change my opinion.

Not at all, my dear, but you might want to change into something more comfortable??

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Found some straight and blunt fish hooks, so we'll be ok if the food runs out. (Especially if it runs out before the cook kills it....)

Well I found a little shop selling all sorts of old government surplus stuff. The owner came from one of those eastern places, and I think he had been apprenticed to an old carpet seller in a souk in Marrakesh. He wasn't a tough negotiator, but I don't think he quite understood what I was looking for. I asked him if had a sextant, but he kept trying to sell me six tents. He assured me they were in excellent condition, only ever having been used once. I very slowly and clearly pronounced the word S-E-X-T-A-N-T, and he suddenly smiled.
"Ahh, I understand," he said, giving me a conspiratorial wink. " One of these tents will be perfect for you. A sheik used it for his harem and entertained the concubines every night in it.!"
"No, not s-e-x t-e-n-t, SEXTANT! It's a funny looking thing with twiddly bits and a little telescope."
So he sold me a powerful telescope instead, which he assured me would help me find out my position easily. All I have to do is look back over the stern to see where we have come from, and then look directly ahead to see where we are going. Then I will know we are exactly somewhere on the right course.
I paid for it all with my out of date American Express card, and after he read my signature on the receipt, he kept calling me "Mr. Upyours."
I just need a hand to unload the tents off the roof of the taxi. They may come in handy to set in the rigging as auxiliary power.

You don't need to fuss so much with the navigation -- we managed to purloin the magic compass from Captain Jack Sparrow's "Black Pearl' -- all we do is wish where we want to go and it takes us right there. (Mind you we do slyly take azimuths of the moon to make sure of it's deviation as the only deviation allowed on board is by the crew members themselves.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Ships Notice board:
Promotions list.
Tom. now official senior master.
Dartskipper. now senior Captain.
Farmer John. official first mate.
Pats. senior Boatswain
Red-17 official ships log keeper (log only to be used as required by OOW) to assist Sister Eleff if and when required.
Varley communications officer. the finer wines and cigars for favors still required.
YM-Mundrabilla. Official 2nd engineer.
CED. remains as Engineering supervisor when she returns from leave
Sister Eleff. sick bay technician first class
Coastie. Anchovy chef, when he gets back
Billyboy. eccentric owner with more money than sense.
Tmac. all things injuniering (I dare not ask more of that man)

Vacancys:
4 AB's
1 sailmaker. (well you never know if we might need a homeward bounder)

Ah! Red-17 -- please report to the bridge to fill in the log book and as this is a totally politically incorrect vessel, you can also keep Myself, Dartskipper, and Farmer John supplied with alcoholic beverages as required. (No reason why you can't keep yourself supplied as well -- the bridge works better as a well oiled machine!) There is another log, which is streamed from the taffrail when under way and referred to as the Walker's Submerged Log -- a propeller type thingy rotating a measuring device which records the distance run during any time period. You will be asked to record the readings on the device, usually around noon each day.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I asked for chips last night. By the time the oil in the fryer was hot enough to put then the ruddy plastic steward had melted.

Have e mailed Mary Hinge. I dont expect a reply till later tonight. That lot in the UK will all be sleeping now.

Would be great to have her back aboard -- would relieve Farmer John from looking after her garden.

[Tom Alexander]

Sir William --- after posting all those promotions and help wanted ads there is one position that has been vacant for quite some time and one that will be tough to fill. That is the position of "Doorman" Ever since Jim Barnes passed, our doors have become squeekier, harder to close, and alsmost impossible to lock. ????????????

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Ships Notice board:
Promotions list.
Tom. now official senior master.
Dartskipper. now senior Captain.
Farmer John. official first mate.
Pats. senior Boatswain
Red-17 official ships log keeper (log only to be used as required by OOW) to assist Sister Eleff if and when required.
Varley communications officer. the finer wines and cigars for favors still required.
YM-Mundrabilla. Official 2nd engineer.
CED. remains as Engineering supervisor when she returns from leave
Sister Eleff. sick bay technician first class
Coastie. Anchovy chef, when he gets back
Billyboy. eccentric owner with more money than sense.
Tmac. all things injuniering (I dare not ask more of that man)

Vacancys:
4 AB's
1 sailmaker. (well you never know if we might need a homeward bounder)

Thanks Billyboy.
Happy to accept the promotion to 2 Engineer, a big step up from Stoker.
I don't suppose that there is that much to learn between coal fired TE and nuclear propulsion, (never mind the sail bit).
Geoff (YM)

[billyboy]

Dont worry about it YM. uyour main duties will be to feed the squirrel and the rat. do a bit of greasing as instructed by Tmac. the rest of your watch will be spent in the control room reading magazines. Tmac will tell you all you need to know once you have signed the official secrets act. some ver advanced equipment down there to be kept secret.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Sir William --- after posting all those promotions and help wanted ads there is one position that has been vacant for quite some time and one that will be tough to fill. That is the position of "Doorman" Ever since Jim Barnes passed, our doors have become squeekier, harder to close, and alsmost impossible to lock. ????????????

Thats been noted Tom. Hard to find the right man for the job. has to be highly qualified see.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Ships Notice board:
Promotions list.
Red-17 official ships log keeper (log only to be used as required by OOW) to assist Sister Eleff if and when required.
Vacancies:
4 AB's
1 sailmaker. (well you never know if we might need a homeward bounder)

OK billyboy, if that is what you want me to do then I will not disobey. However, this is twice that I have been denied the position of gardener. I am beginning to think that there is something in the garden that is SO secret that I can't be trusted with it.

Is it Varley's secret stash of booze or Tmacs secret entrance for 'nubile young women' into the injun room. Or is it a secret crop of ?????. If it is the latter it is no wonder the mules goes berserk every now and then.

Also: Please explain TANNOY.

[billyboy]

Tannoy: the ships loudspeaker system.

OK I will make you assistant gardener...hows that. ha ha

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Tannoy: the ships loudspeaker system.

OK I will make you assistant gardener...hows that. ha ha

ASSISTANT! Who is head gardener?? You're winding me up billyboy and it is not a pretty sight when you do that.: mad:

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Red-17

OK billyboy, if that is what you want me to do then I will not disobey. However, this is twice that I have been denied the position of gardener. I am beginning to think that there is something in the garden that is SO secret that I can't be trusted with it.

Is it Varley's secret stash of booze or Tmacs secret entrance for 'nubile young women' into the injun room. Or is it a secret crop of ?????. If it is the latter it is no wonder the mules goes berserk every now and then.

Also: Please explain TANNOY.

I was led to believe that the 'nubile women' (of any age) were housed in the second funnel and that is why I stowed my firing shovel and other fire irons there, but if they are in the ER that is OK because as 2E I can legitimately be there too.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

I was led to believe that the 'nubile women' (of any age) were housed in the second funnel and that is why I stowed my firing shovel and other fire irons there, but if they are in the ER that is OK because as 2E I can legitimately be there too.

Listen, YM Mundrabilla, you might rather be in Narvik, god knows why, but I would rather be in Melbourne. If I ever make it there you might really wish you were in Narvik.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Listen, YM Mundrabilla, you might rather be in Narvik, god knows why, but I would rather be in Melbourne. If I ever make it there you might really wish you were in Narvik.

PS. Can you REALLY trust Tmac

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Red-17,
Sorry that I will not be in Melbourne when you get here as I am leaving for Narvik or Mundrabilla immediately. I am scared of nurses as they sometimes do all sorts of things to you.
Why anyone from sunny Newcastle with its beaches and ships so close would want to come to cold and wet Melbourne eludes me.
As he is my Chief on the GD, I can assure you that Tmac is thoroughly trustworthy but with who/what I am not quite sure.
Geoff (YM)

[billyboy]

heh heh heh....Great to have a happy ship again.
I am off up to the bridge suitably armed with bottles of Four Bells.


Hello gentlemen I come bearing gifts of the liquid type. Hows things up here?
Yes everyones happy down there. Mind you Tmacs due up off watch soon. That could get interesting

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Red-17,
Sorry that I will not be in Melbourne when you get here as I am leaving for Narvik or Mundrabilla immediately. I am scared of nurses as they sometimes do all sorts of things to you.
Why anyone from sunny Newcastle with its beaches and ships so close would want to come to cold and wet Melbourne eludes me.
As he is my Chief on the GD, I can assure you that Tmac is thoroughly trustworthy but with who/what I am not quite sure.
Geoff (YM)

Can you be sure that Tmac is trustworthy? We will see! Melbourne has class and culture, besides, I like the winter climate.

[Red-17]

Sorry gentleman, and lady, Pat, I have an early start in the morning with a 4.30 am broadcast of the Anzac day ceremony from Sydney. So I shall retire for the evening.

Lest We Forget.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Sorry gentleman, and lady, Pat, I have an early start in the morning with a 4.30 am broadcast of the Anzac day ceremony from Sydney. So I shall retire for the evening.

Lest We Forget.

Indeed 'Lest We Forget' !

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I asked for chips last night. By the time the oil in the fryer was hot enough to put then the ruddy plastic steward had melted.

Have e mailed Mary Hinge. I dont expect a reply till later tonight. That lot in the UK will all be sleeping now.

Sir William, we have very few melty plastic stewards left they are replaced by models made from the same plastic as my dear Aunt's Yorkshire pudding tray, resistant to the volcanic heat needed to produce a well risen pudding.

Tell Mary her garden is beautiful, some slight damage to some of the plants is being repaired, the top 6 tiers of the gardens are untouched by mule or chook.

Whilst the general catering is competently managed by the plaggys, we do miss the magnificent...anchovyness... Of our chef. Who can forget his Anchovies avec Anchovies, his Bombe Anchovy Surprise and his Anchovies with Spam (Spam' off today). Very thirst provoking.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Red-17

PS. Can you REALLY trust Tmac

what prompted that scurrilous remark? Of course injuneers can be trusted otherwise this fine vessel and it's crew wouldn't get anywhere AND you would have no facilities in your cabin or anywhere else for that matter

It's no wonder injuneers are always dirty.... we continually get the sh1t end of the stick.

[PatriciaAnnT]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

welcome back Pats, I have sorely missed using your chickens for target practise

Regarding your repair recommendation may I emphea.... empres....empasiz....stress to you young lady, wot makes a injuneer as skilled as wot I am is NOT hitting things with a hammer large or otherwise it is knowing WHERE to hit them wot matters

Isn't it nice that we can get back to offending each other again? I've missed it so.

[Tmac1720]

'morning Pats, I hope you have by now discovered the champagne chiller installed in your wardrobe.... no need for thanks just a welcome home present