Go Back   Shipping History > Swinging The Lamp (Off Topic) > The Pig & Whistle

Humour the best of medicine

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1601  
Old 5th December 2022, 09:28
Malcolm G's Avatar
Malcolm G Malcolm G is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Poole
Posts: 1,624
Images: 7
Both correct ES - it depends whether they are stood face to face of back to back.
Nowadays PNP apparently means party and play and refers to ‘recreational’ drugs…

Btw Bob - in the case of my local resident wood pigeons, other products tend to stick
__________________
The Mad Landsman
Reply With Quote
  #1602  
Old 5th December 2022, 11:09
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,041
My drugs of choice are Adalat for blood pressure, Bumetanide for water retention and Solpadine as my morning after pill. I defy you to pick a better trio.
Reply With Quote
  #1603  
Old 6th December 2022, 09:52
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of
whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
Reply With Quote
  #1604  
Old 8th December 2022, 18:04
BobClay's Avatar
BobClay United Kingdom BobClay is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Cornwall UK
Posts: 1,530
Images: 73
You never know who is listening ... (it isn't just the boys and girls in the Donut.)
Attached Images
File Type: jpg parrots.jpg (161.7 KB, 83 views)
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
Reply With Quote
  #1605  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:02
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
When my mate woke up this morning, his wife had him in a head lock.

He said “I think she had a wrestler’s night.”
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
Reply With Quote
  #1606  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:17
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: Hull YORKSHIRE
Posts: 288
Images: 1
A lorry loaded with ladders has just crashed on the M62, the police are taking steps to clear the road!
Reply With Quote
  #1607  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:56
BobClay's Avatar
BobClay United Kingdom BobClay is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Cornwall UK
Posts: 1,530
Images: 73
I need to bring some quality to these jokes ....
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Tolkein.jpg (61.3 KB, 79 views)
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
Reply With Quote
  #1608  
Old 10th December 2022, 12:56
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: Hull YORKSHIRE
Posts: 288
Images: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClay View Post
I need to bring some quality to these jokes ....
Dont trouble yourself.....as they would say in ull

Last edited by rustytrawler; 10th December 2022 at 13:04.
Reply With Quote
  #1609  
Old 10th December 2022, 13:19
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,485
Indeed, Rusty. There is the old rag trade adage.

"Never mind the quality, feel the wit"
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 10th December 2022 at 19:07.
Reply With Quote
  #1610  
Old 10th December 2022, 13:26
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: Hull YORKSHIRE
Posts: 288
Images: 1
Ihave now changed your name to lord laxi...tiv. hope this moves you up a bit more in the world, maybe king laxi...tiv
Reply With Quote
  #1611  
Old 10th December 2022, 19:10
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,485
Laxative? You want more bullshit?
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #1612  
Old 11th December 2022, 09:33
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: Hull YORKSHIRE
Posts: 288
Images: 1
Keep it coming Varly.....Do you know what the 1964 I.O.M. ferry was called, the one leaving Liverpool, i think it went from the Liver buildings, rgds rustytrawler
Reply With Quote
  #1613  
Old 11th December 2022, 12:52
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,485
In 1964 the IoMSP fleet was 6 or 7, serving the then Summer bread and butter tourist trade - all steamers then. Wiki gives a good run down. They did not only run to Liverpool and there were also excursions (while at Colwyn Bay I could use the Llandudno excursion to nip home for half a day).

The end of exchange control marked the end of that money in any real sense of the word which is easily seen in that the native needs are satisfied with the Ben My Chree (all year, Heysham) and in Summer the fastcraft, Manannin. A new Manxman will be delivered in the new year from Hyundai.

For some strange reason we are having to build a terminal for the IOMSPC to replace the floating dock which the side-loaders used to use. We then, presumably, pay again to use it.
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #1614  
Old 11th December 2022, 13:06
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: Hull YORKSHIRE
Posts: 288
Images: 1
Thank you i will have a look on wiki......What was that Kelly from the I.O.M all about?

Last edited by rustytrawler; 11th December 2022 at 13:39.
Reply With Quote
  #1615  
Old 11th December 2022, 22:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,041
Out in Dublin city centre on Friday evening with the Memsahib for a bite of grub and a few drinks. Met a couple from the IOM, Union Mills, over for the weekend (me neither) and they were great craic and they have given me faith that IOM is not beyond saving, indeed it is not now compulsory to marry your cousin. Needless to say I learned more in one hour of Guinness and Jameson than I have from 10 years of Lord V's random jottings.
I am considering buying a Ducati.
Reply With Quote
  #1616  
Old 12th December 2022, 17:54
Varley's Avatar
Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,485
Now that you are fully up to speed on Island life and politics you can answer Rusty's question.

(Don't offer your opinion until you have been off that black muck and the varnish remover for at least 4 hours).
__________________
David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
Reply With Quote
  #1617  
Old 12th December 2022, 21:35
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,041
Guinness I can take or leave but Jameson is a fine drink.
Reply With Quote
  #1618  
Old 13th December 2022, 02:31
Makko Mexico Makko is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Mexico City, Mexico
Posts: 968
Images: 52
I sailed with Neil Jameson. His Dad was Tech Super for Westminster Dredgers in the Mersey. Rumour has it (my lips are sealed) that pure Jameson ran in his bloodstream! Nuff said. I shall now recede to the shadows.............! Those were the days,"Penang, '82.............".
Reply With Quote
  #1619  
Old 13th December 2022, 08:36
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,041
Discretion is obviously your middle name, sound fellow Makko.
Reply With Quote
  #1620  
Old 13th December 2022, 10:15
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
I told this kid in my street to ask his Dad if he wanted my old sofa and chairs.

He told me he wasn't allowed to accept suites from strangers
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
Reply With Quote
  #1621  
Old 15th December 2022, 19:55
BobClay's Avatar
BobClay United Kingdom BobClay is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Cornwall UK
Posts: 1,530
Images: 73
Had a bad day today. I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he's done a bunk !!! It's just one thing on top of another.
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
Reply With Quote
  #1622  
Old 16th December 2022, 10:31
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
My pal’s neighbours, Tom and Lisa Hall, came round for a pre-Christmas drink. They’re always quite argumentative especially after a lot to drink.

As expected, a fight broke out and to defend himself, my pal grabbed some festive greenery and decked the Halls with boughs of holly.
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.

Last edited by Ron Stringer; 16th December 2022 at 10:36.
Reply With Quote
  #1623  
Old 16th December 2022, 15:17
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Dublin,but I'd rather be in Stavanger.
Posts: 3,041
My Aldi cheap Christmas cards have better jokes than the last dozen here. And it pains me to say so.
Reply With Quote
  #1624  
Old 16th December 2022, 20:53
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
Just curious…….. If ex TV Celeb, Isla St Clair had married Barry White, presumably she’d be Isla White?

And if, when Barry White died, she remarried the lead singer of Roxy Music, would she be Isla White-Ferry?
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
Reply With Quote
  #1625  
Old 16th December 2022, 20:56
Ron Stringer's Avatar
Ron Stringer England Ron Stringer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 250
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
My Aldi cheap Christmas cards have better jokes than the last dozen here. And it pains me to say so.
You'll just have to learn to accept lower standards now that you're ashore.
__________________
Ron

__________________________________________________ _________________________
Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.

Last edited by Ron Stringer; 17th December 2022 at 10:37.
Reply With Quote
Post Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:47.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.