Humour the best of medicine

[BobClay]

I always go with US Singer 'Cher' when she was asked on a chat show what getting old was like.

'It sucks,' she replied.

Good answer ...

[Harry Nicholson]

They didn't tell us about this. I'd have stayed inside:https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart...M4MzE5MjA4MAS2

[Dartskipper]

"An asteroid the size of a truck missed the Earth."

It wasn't another delivery by Evri was it?

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Most informative whilst somewhat disappointing.

Disappointing that these things are measured in trucks. Not very scientific.

Trucks measure 11 foot six inches by 28 feet which was a revelation to me. I will keep further to the left next time I see an 11 foot six wide truck approaching.

Thank goodness the asteroid was not the size of the Eiffel Tower, a jumbo jet , the Statue of Liberty, Titanic or some other equally scientific unit of measurement.

[notnila]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Oh my goodness!...I can relate to all of these.
Nowadays "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I am there.

Getting old is like being punished for a crime you did not commit.

AS I keep saying(to anyone who will listen)"I hate this getting old ! I'm never going to do this again !"

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Most informative whilst somewhat disappointing.

Disappointing that these things are measured in trucks. Not very scientific.

Trucks measure 11 foot six inches by 28 feet which was a revelation to me. I will keep further to the left next time I see an 11 foot six wide truck approaching.

Thank goodness the asteroid was not the size of the Eiffel Tower, a jumbo jet , the Statue of Liberty, Titanic or some other equally scientific unit of measurement.

Trucks, or lorries as Christians call them, or road trains as drivers with flip-flops call them, must have 3 dimensions unless they have an overdrive and can move at the speed of light. Their static dimensions are always quoted in Olympic Swimming Pool equivalents.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Trucks, or lorries as Christians call them, or road trains as drivers with flip-flops call them, must have 3 dimensions unless they have an overdrive and can move at the speed of light. Their static dimensions are always quoted in Olympic Swimming Pool equivalents.

RMS Olympic swimming pools of course!

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Trucks, or lorries as Christians call them, or road trains as drivers with flip-flops call them, must have 3 dimensions unless they have an overdrive and can move at the speed of light. Their static dimensions are always quoted in Olympic Swimming Pool equivalents.

Or football fields, if the swimming pool is closed. Another scientific measuring device consists of London buses and one of Queen Mary's funnels.

[rustytrawler]

How many of varley's heads can you get in a swimming pool?

[Varley]

Many more than Varley's bellies!

But without some formula for dealing with difficulty of allowing for the wasted space when stacking rounds (pretty much in all three cases!) you will have to do it like Archimedes.

[rustytrawler]

ARCHIMEDES? what ship was he on?

[Sparkie2182]

Sounds like a "Bluie"

[Malcolm G]

Originally Posted by rustytrawler

ARCHIMEDES? what ship was he on?

I think that this is a likely contender..

[rustytrawler]

Well done you.

[Malcolm G]

A painter and decorator gets the job of painting the inside of his local church and quotes a price for two coats of emulsion.
On day one he thinks that no-one would notice if he mixed the paint 50-50 with water so that he could use half the paint and make more profit.
On day two he is putting a bucket of water into his bucket of paint and mixing it when suddenly the priest emerges for the confessional and challenges the painter, accusing of being the most despicable cheat and of stealing from the church.
The painter says, “Yes OK you’ve caught me, what do you want me to do?”

The Priest says;

….

…..


“Repaint, Repaint, and thin no more!”

[Malcolm G]

For those on this side of the planet, don’t forget to change your clocks by one hour.
I’ve already started…

[Hugh Shuttleworth]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

For those on this side of the planet, don’t forget to change your clocks by one hour.
I’ve already started…

Just done the Second Mate's job and changed the clocks straight after the evening meal!

[Engine Serang]

We down the engine room will change the clock when we dam'd well like. 2o mins per Watch or thereabouts.

[Varley]

Much to my guests' annoyance all but the too-clever-by-half wireless clocks remain on GMT. Proper house time would be GMT less 14 minutes or thereabouts. To be that horologically pedantic would, of course, be ridiculous.

I could, of course, mount ship's time repeaters (like your engine room clock that you will not be touching unless you want your fingers welded to the telegraph handle) alongside each of the various GMT dials around the house, slaved from my Seiko GC-QMS Marine Master but I think I might then be thought of as a little eccentric (it would also be certain to break the treaty with my Sister-in-Law who refers to my electrically reset gravity arm escapement timepieces as both too numerous and reminding her of mummies).

[Dartskipper]

[QUOTE=Varley;50914]Much to my guests annoyance all but the too-clever-by-half wireless clocks remain on GMT. Proper house time would be GMT less 14 minutes or thereabouts. To be that horologically pedantic would, of course, be ridiculous.


Before the railways were built, local time did indeed vary from town to town with noon being set from a convenient sundial in clement weather. So whatever one's chosen method of keeping track of the time, be it a clock linked to Rugby, a sonorous grandfather in the entrance hall, a chirping cuckoo device,a digital display winking on the microwave, oven or hot water boiler, or a mechanical masterpiece from the land of yodelling and cheese, they all owe their existence to the advent of the steam powered locomotive and a Victorian obsession with standardised accuracy.

[Harry Nicholson]

https://www.facebook.com/Sebastian.W...58575084568412

Strange humour perhaps . . .

[Malcolm G]

Anyone want to give it a go…

[Malcolm G]

The Mexican version of beer goggles.

[al1934]

Well done, Malcolm G. I was thinking everyone had left.

[Malcolm G]

There’s no one here, only us chickens.
(For any readers of Samuel Clemens).