Humour the best of medicine

[rustytrawler]

I have a racing tip for you the horse is called council dump,but watch out it may be a rubbish tip.

[Makko]

Wanna tip? Look both ways before crossing the road!

Groan, groan, gro----an!

[Malcolm G]

Yep, It's time to roll out the groanometer again...

[Engine Serang]

Bob Clay had an electronic meter, much less accurate.

[Malcolm G]

Just in case you ever asked, here is the proof..

[Malcolm G]

The prostitute: “Have you finished yet?”
The mistress: “Oh no, you haven’t finished”
The wife: “When are you going to finish painting that ceiling?”

[Varley]

Ah, that's how I got my Scandinavian passport "Are you Feenish Daveed".

[Malcolm G]

Meanwhile, a few months and many complications later…

[Engine Serang]

I

I think that could be a Yellow Card. No not a Jap.

[al1934]

The Laws of the Navy

[al1934]

Not to mention the litter problems!

[Lao Pan]

For the last 70 odd years British Post Office vans have had E II R on the side.

Due to the change in senior management, with much deliberation, it has been decided that the sign writing will be changed to:-

C3PO

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Lao Pan

For the last 70 odd years British Post Office vans have had E II R on the side.

Due to the change in senior management, with much deliberation, it has been decided that the sign writing will be changed to:-

C3PO

Very good!

[Malcolm G]

Henry’s going to need a lot of straw.. Dear Liza.

[Lao Pan]

With all these items in the news about the dangers of Artificial Intelligence, I decided to ask an AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence would destroy the human race.

And this is the answer it gave me:

".....We're Working On It....."

[Engine Serang]

Lao Pan me oul shipmate ask your AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence could get three Generators running on a Russian ship and improve the MTBF.
We know the answer.

PS. awaiting more of your excellent photographs.

[Varley]

Did you also have Russian Impressed Current Coating Remover?

[Engine Serang]

Our ICCP is of Nederlands supply.

We don't use Bahco as we find King Dick more appropriate.

[Lao Pan]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Lao Pan me oul shipmate ask your AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence could get three Generators running on a Russian ship and improve the MTBF.
We know the answer.

PS. awaiting more of your excellent photographs.

I don't think they could get their spindly little fingers to throw in those big 3 phase knife switches - let alone synchronise to the busses as the online Generator dropped to 30Hz while working cargo with a seizing Turbo. MTBF about 20 mins, then repeat. (Al Salehiah - Summer 1979, New Orleans - Generator Flat Temperature > 60 deg C Following Hurricane Bob)

Just spent the last year replacing my aging fleet of 'puters - so may find time to do some more 35mm scans - unfortunately the company that makes the best picky editing software noticed that I had inadvertently forgotten to pay them (£900) before installing it - Us J/E's still only get paid in beans - and sent me a stern warning, so I will have to find something else to do the post production

[John Rogers]

Three old and retired Navy Chiefs were sitting around and talking. The first chief said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again."
The second chief said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it's still a problem."
Then third chief said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am.

[Engine Serang]

My new meter of "Good Belly Laughs" has barely flickered but as a Chief once said to me, a promising start and will improve as the trip goes on.

[rustytrawler]

I once went out with a girl from Kerry, i think her Dad must of been a cardinal as she always wore purple underwear.

[rustytrawler]

Expensive, ehen i get home from Ireland i think i will have to sell one of my cars, and probably my most disliked child.

[Varley]

Advise mileage and fuel type. Is child still good for a couple of years chimney work?

[rustytrawler]

Age 42....fuel type any larger apart from when i am paying then it is stella.....expert at borrowing stuff and looking after his Mum, needs an eye keeping on him as he is known for steeling chips of his Dads plate.