Humour the best of medicine

[Malcolm G]

Here you go..

https://youtu.be/sbOEgigo5SY?si=CIE_N4ujNOMk4EZN

[George Bis]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

An old colleague went on an anger management course. They suggested that he wrote letters expressing his feelings to the people that he hated, and then burn them.
That was some time ago and he’s asking whether he should shred the letters now.
What do think?

If you can’t take a joke don’t join

[Malcolm G]

A couple of slightly cryptic pics for you to work out.
(not connected, just posted together.)
Well I thought that they were amusing anyway.
First one...

[Malcolm G]

Second one...

[Makko]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

Second one...

???????????
Am I thick?

[Makko]

Following on from Malcolm's last:

What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?




They both eliminate Klingons!

Rgds.
Dave

[Malcolm G]

I’ll give it a day or two…

[Malcolm G]

Someone has suggested that Norway, Sweden and Denmark put bar codes on their ships…

When they enter port then they could….

Scan d’Navy in.

[Dartskipper]

The only bar code I understood was you can't stand at the bar unless you have a drink.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

I’ll give it a day or two…

Tile on our kitchen wall:

'God give me patience - but be quick, please'

[Malcolm G]

Clues?
What type of sword?
What is Jean-Luc Picard saying?

[John Rogers]

Claymore. The anti personnel mine has the same warning on it.

[Malcolm G]

Originally Posted by John Rogers

Claymore. The anti personnel mine has the same warning on it.

Spot on John

[John Rogers]

Had a leg up on that one Mal, I set up a few of them while in the Army.

[Malcolm G]

Why am I not surprised

[Malcolm G]

#1804 - "Make it so, number one." (sew?).

[Dartskipper]

"Everything you were ever afraid of......."

So they give it a "15" Certificate.

[Malcolm G]

Our Antipodean colleagues might appreciate this one..

[Malcolm G]

Another one for our friends down under…

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

Our Antipodean colleagues might appreciate this one..

Mundaracula one presumes.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Mundaracula one presumes.

Never heard of him!

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Never heard of him!

He's the vampire who only appears on Mondays.

[John Rogers]

Shortly after a British Airways flight had
reached

its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.

Welcome to
Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to

Antigua. “The weather ahead is good, so we

should have a uneventful flight. So, sit back,

relax, and.........OH...MY GOD!"

Silence followed.......................

Some moments later, the captain came back on
the

intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm

sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you,
a

flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in
my

lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish

passenger yelled....... “For the luvva

Jaysus…..you should see the back of
mine!"

[Hugh Shuttleworth]

Originally Posted by John Rogers

Shortly after a British Airways flight had
reached

its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.


You should see the front of my pants!"

Not British Airways; He would still be wearing trousers so soon after takeoff!

[Malcolm G]

I have been browsing the user manual for my extending ladder.
Well, perhaps not a manual, more a step by step guide.