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  #1801  
Old 16th February 2024, 14:12
Malcolm G's Avatar
Malcolm G Malcolm G is offline
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Here you go..

https://youtu.be/sbOEgigo5SY?si=CIE_N4ujNOMk4EZN
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  #1802  
Old 19th February 2024, 20:49
George Bis United Kingdom George Bis is offline
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An old colleague went on an anger management course. They suggested that he wrote letters expressing his feelings to the people that he hated, and then burn them.
That was some time ago and he’s asking whether he should shred the letters now.
What do think?
If you can’t take a joke don’t join
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  #1803  
Old 19th February 2024, 21:22
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A couple of slightly cryptic pics for you to work out.
(not connected, just posted together.)
Well I thought that they were amusing anyway.
First one...
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  #1804  
Old 19th February 2024, 21:23
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Second one...
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  #1805  
Old 19th February 2024, 23:00
Makko Mexico Makko is offline
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Second one...
???????????
Am I thick?
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  #1806  
Old 19th February 2024, 23:02
Makko Mexico Makko is offline
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Following on from Malcolm's last:

What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?




They both eliminate Klingons!

Rgds.
Dave
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  #1807  
Old 19th February 2024, 23:25
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I’ll give it a day or two…
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  #1808  
Old 19th February 2024, 23:29
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Someone has suggested that Norway, Sweden and Denmark put bar codes on their ships…

When they enter port then they could….

Scan d’Navy in.
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  #1809  
Old 20th February 2024, 00:13
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The only bar code I understood was you can't stand at the bar unless you have a drink.
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  #1810  
Old 20th February 2024, 01:24
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YM-Mundrabilla Australia YM-Mundrabilla is offline
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I’ll give it a day or two…
Tile on our kitchen wall:

'God give me patience - but be quick, please'
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If Global Warming is so prevalent why are there so many snowflakes around?
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  #1811  
Old 20th February 2024, 09:30
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Clues?
What type of sword?
What is Jean-Luc Picard saying?
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  #1812  
Old 20th February 2024, 12:34
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Claymore. The anti personnel mine has the same warning on it.
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  #1813  
Old 20th February 2024, 12:56
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Claymore. The anti personnel mine has the same warning on it.
Spot on John
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  #1814  
Old 20th February 2024, 17:01
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Had a leg up on that one Mal, I set up a few of them while in the Army.
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  #1815  
Old 20th February 2024, 17:43
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Why am I not surprised
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  #1816  
Old 20th February 2024, 20:41
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#1804 - "Make it so, number one." (sew?).
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  #1817  
Old 20th February 2024, 20:53
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"Everything you were ever afraid of......."

So they give it a "15" Certificate.
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  #1818  
Old 20th February 2024, 20:55
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Our Antipodean colleagues might appreciate this one..
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  #1819  
Old 27th February 2024, 23:18
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Another one for our friends down under…
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  #1820  
Old 28th February 2024, 08:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Our Antipodean colleagues might appreciate this one..
Mundaracula one presumes.
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  #1821  
Old 29th February 2024, 09:12
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Mundaracula one presumes.
Never heard of him!
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  #1822  
Old 29th February 2024, 13:17
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Never heard of him!
He's the vampire who only appears on Mondays.
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  #1823  
Old 1st March 2024, 03:54
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Shortly after a British Airways flight had
reached

its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.

Welcome to
Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to

Antigua. “The weather ahead is good, so we

should have a uneventful flight. So, sit back,

relax, and.........OH...MY GOD!"

Silence followed.......................

Some moments later, the captain came back on
the

intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm

sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you,
a

flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in
my

lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish

passenger yelled....... “For the luvva

Jaysus…..you should see the back of
mine!"
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  #1824  
Old 1st March 2024, 08:46
Hugh Shuttleworth Hugh Shuttleworth is offline
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Quote:
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Shortly after a British Airways flight had
reached

its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.


You should see the front of my pants!"
Not British Airways; He would still be wearing trousers so soon after takeoff!
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  #1825  
Old 2nd March 2024, 00:19
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I have been browsing the user manual for my extending ladder.
Well, perhaps not a manual, more a step by step guide.
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