Radio messages

[Malcolm K.]

I had been invited to my best friends wedding but I returned to sea as my leave was up.
I thought that I would send the happy couple a congratulations telegram. I had a word with the R.O and he told me that he had a very funny message which would be appreciated by ex seafarers.
He returned later to tell me that Portishead radio station had refused to accept the message as it was obscene. He could not understand this as he had used it many times in the past. I then sent the couple a bog standard wedding message?

The offending message " Indicate position and depth at midnight "

[Hawkey01]

Must have been one of our more religious RO's. I certainly would not have refused it.

Neville - Hawkey01

[Naytikos]

When one of my friends (an occasional poster on SN) got married I was at sea and simply sent:
Congratulations. Hope QRR

Not that funny in retrospect but the best I could come up with at the time.

[BobClay]

I remember somebody sending 4Q2 to me on the key and I was baffled. I'd checked codebooks and lists of call signs and all sorts of things before the penny dropped ...

[Varley]

I remember a Dutch shipmate on Texaco Denmark that almost every time he came off watch when retiring from bar to cabin would remark "Well, off automatic, on to hand".

[King Ratt]

I did send to a mate of mine who had just married. "Congratulations on your new appointment. Is she a single screw job?" It was read out at the celebration party after the wedding.