virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

Wot, no requirement to sight read?

[billyboy]

No the cut outs can do the reading bit.
It would be a shame to have to put this ship into semi permanent lay up due to the lack of crew David.

[billyboy]

Over a thousand members on this site. surely there must be 3 who can step up to fill the vacancies.
If not then its the River Fal with a view of the King Harry ferry. Nice little pub there though.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Of great concern in this regard was something that I witnessed today 12/5 whilst out on my bike in search of shipping to photograph. It was a bright sunny, if cool (18°C), Autumn day in Melbourne.

There was not a ship, boat, barge or other floating object to be seen but I enjoyed the 40 odd km ride.

What I did see was what might be the launch of the replacement GD into the Moonee Ponds Creek. Naturally said vessel was unmanned / unpersoned / unwomanned which made me think of the GD and its present predicament.

The launched thing was about a metre square and bristled with cameras, drones, thrusters, aerials and all manner of flashing light thingys. It was sailing in circles controlled by somebody on the bank playing with his joystick. It wasn't ES but I might have been a cutout. It was much too hi-tech for me as a old stoker.

I hope that this is not the way of the future for the GD as being aboard has been much more fun that dealing with the dickheads and children that infest a couple of rail sites that I throw the occasional grenade into.

[Varley]

I had thought that we might hold conferences onboard again. Then I remembered the problem we had with the Flat Earth Research Society's Survey Group.

One good night at the bar with our bridge team and they want to take sights with a Planimeter and Plumbbob.

(Mind you I have often thought that their efforts would be outdone had we dowsing rods interfaced with the ECDIS)

There was the Homeopathy conference that doubled as a blind testing for their proposed seasickness cure - a teeny weeny concentration of rough-sea water (the inevitable failure was blamed on the purity of the evaporator output used in the dilution). A similar potion using quinine water and gin proved more effective although some complained of strange aftereffects of loss of appetite, headache and sleeping-in- the-wrong-cabin syndrome. I think the plastcos did quite well with tips (certainly some of the chatter was quite gratuitous).

We daren't offer the facilities to the Institutes of marine engineering or navigation. We would have our lots on the razzle full time and the delegates would be sneaking about trying to re=live old times with our ultra modern tech stuff (that escapes our understanding, they would have no hope).

We will have to do something 'though or YM will start hurling ordnance around (and that is certain to disturb the Old man's afternoon forty winks).

[Dave McGouldrick]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Over a thousand members on this site. surely there must be 3 who can step up to fill the vacancies.
If not then its the River Fal with a view of the King Harry ferry. Nice little pub there though.

I suppose the fact that I have a Somali Master's ticket from 1970something might be of interest.
It was issued pursuant to the fact that I did a couple of hours hand steering on a scrapper, and stood the bridge watch for 15 minutes while the 3rd mate nipped off for a Tom Tit.


Seriously, I was offered the job of 3rd mate on a Greek when they were shorthanded. As a spec wearing R/O I decided to decline and they bumped up the bosun.


Sounds like I could fit in if I can remember my password.

[Tmac1720]

Squeek and Eric are miffed at not being considered suitable for advancement. Further I note that ES has been conspicuously silent in this regard, I have heard of hiding your light under a bushel but the lad has potential. I trained him myself despite having to employ copious amounts of chair and whip the lad did well.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Dave McGouldrick

I suppose the fact that I have a Somali Master's ticket from 1970something might be of interest.
It was issued pursuant to the fact that I did a couple of hours hand steering on a scrapper, and stood the bridge watch for 15 minutes while the 3rd mate nipped off for a Tom Tit.


Seriously, I was offered the job of 3rd mate on a Greek when they were shorthanded. As a spec wearing R/O I decided to decline and they bumped up the bosun.


Sounds like I could fit in if I can remember my password.

Wow you have experience! Sign here Dave Mc Gouldrick!..... Steward! take Daves gear to the Captains cabin and show him where everything is then bring him up to the bridge.
Oh...and grab a bottle of four bells on the way up.

[Varley]

Here we go again. Light hidden under a bushel is it? How many times have I told you to call me. It will either be the lamp or the fuse. If all the bushels are unlit it is what we call, in the trade, a blackout.

[billyboy]

Ah there you are Dave, Come along and I'll show you around.
On this console you have the traditional sticks for ahead and astern, also the controls for fore and aft thrusters. These two buttons will lower or raise the Anchor (great when its raining) at the top is the famous "Big red button" try to avoid touching that. These consoles are repeated out on the port and starboard bridge wings. Two radars with alarms, Ecdis ect. we normally cruise at 25 knots but do have the capability to go very much faster.
Thank you Steward, Cheers Dave and welcome aboard the happy ship.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Squeek and Eric are miffed at not being considered suitable for advancement. Further I note that ES has been conspicuously silent in this regard, I have heard of hiding your light under a bushel but the lad has potential. I trained him myself despite having to employ copious amounts of chair and whip the lad did well.

I trained him myself.

Indeed, you taught me everything you knew and I still know nothing.

[billyboy]

yes, promotion is overdue down below. so. Tmac to become "Engineering Supervisor"
ES to become "Chief Engineer"
So we need a Sec and a turd now.
Chief to consult with engineering supervisor before any machinery adjustments of course.
so Squeak to become Second and Eric to become Third.
new uniforms in the stores.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

I can confirm from bitter experience that there is security in obscurity when it comes to reorganisations.

I remain the sole stoker on board the GD and don't even get a new shovel.

There was a time when Eric and Squeak would give me a spell but no longer now that they are 'management' and obviously destined for higher things. Next they will be on deck.

Oh well, another bottle of no-sugar coke for re-hydration * and a jar of vegemite to console myself.

* Thankfully it's hot down here - unlike bloody Melbourne at the moment.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by billyboy

yes, promotion is overdue down below. so. Tmac to become "Engineering Supervisor"
ES to become "Chief Engineer"
So we need a Sec and a turd now.
Chief to consult with engineering supervisor before any machinery adjustments of course.
so Squeak to become Second and Eric to become Third.
new uniforms in the stores.

Billy me oul china, keep yer nose out of our internal rangling or the black gang will give you a black eye. We stay as we are, BS as Chief with the two rats to feed his ego, ME as Second, yer man as xtra second and Slim Dusty promoted to No1 Greaser. Him big fella number one shovel plenty coal.

[Varley]

I'm with E-S on this (surgery appointment already made). Without a leckie that bunch couldn't recognise an unlit under-bushel if they were sitting on it let alone put it right.

One must admit they are fairly good at production of sudden-onset overall gloom (see 2nd's comments WRT white boiler suits, no pun intended) but those are generally plumber led events or, at least, events leading to investigation of the plumbing.

[Malcolm G]

So I will just carry on wandering around trying not to upset too many people.

Obviously picking up the empties and putting them in the recycling bin could be a full time occupation around here. I was wondering whether to turn the old beer cans into some sort of sculpture but when I tried to weld tin I seemed to just blow holes in it.

Any other ideas?

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

So I will just carry on wandering around trying not to upset too many people.

Obviously picking up the empties and putting them in the recycling bin could be a full time occupation around here. I was wondering whether to turn the old beer cans into some sort of sculpture but when I tried to weld tin I seemed to just blow holes in it.

Any other ideas?

Gorilla glue or possibly Chockfast You didn't learn your welding skills in Harland and Bluff by any chance?

[Malcolm G]

No, we have some pretty awful welding instructors down south here on the big island as well.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

So I will just carry on wandering around trying not to upset too many people.

You're the xtra Second, you sound hesitant but a couple of Watches will settle you down.

[Malcolm G]

Wow, dizzy heights, thank you.... I think.

If I'm not cut out for it I can also tie knots and row a boat. Not much call for that nowadays though.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

Wow, dizzy heights, thank you.... I think.

If I'm not cut out for it I can also tie knots and row a boat. Not much call for that nowadays though.

There is on the Titanic

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Malcolm G

So I will just carry on wandering around trying not to upset too many people.

Obviously picking up the empties and putting them in the recycling bin could be a full time occupation around here. I was wondering whether to turn the old beer cans into some sort of sculpture but when I tried to weld tin I seemed to just blow holes in it.

Any other ideas?

More suited to castings but just fill any holes with Beaumont Egg. It might be a bit too obvious in any aluminium edifice but silver frost is cheap.

Here is the recipe in case you want to try:

Beaumont’s Egg; a mixture of beeswax, fiddler’s rosin, finest iron borings and lamp black.

It was used momentarily and unsuccessfully in the first Tay Bridge.

[billyboy]

Our engineers know what they are doing. why a con rod broke and they fixed it wit 2 strips of steel and a handfull of pop rivits 6 months ago and its still holding together in the main generator now.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Not saying, but that was only after we had to surgically remove several layers of skin from someone's fingers when the super glue he tried to use stuck his fingers but not the con rod.

Red or Sister would have been amazed at our efforts with a chain saw.

[Malcolm G]

Looks even better now though - a couple of tubs of isopon and you can't even see the join. The con rod that is, not the finger...